Grocery Store

You guys can screen them up. So Jesse Wilder's got two life. That's wilder. We're here to guide your life.

And guess what's back with Sean McGregor. City snacks. Wow. Right off the top.

Yeah. Well, and you know, so here it is. I'm going to, this is a little bit different than what we've done before. Wilder and I have snacks in other words.

It's, it's, well, just more like a coincidence. Not a coincidence. Let me hit him with the good good. Wilder and I both.

Isn't City snacks. Just so you know. Wilder and I are both of us, our partners are out of town right now. And so both of us being little goblins.

Complete coincidence. Well, he got started on talking about wing stops. So then I got started on think about wing stop. So then we both ordered the wing stop hot box.

Wilder, can you tell about the saw? Well, the special thing, it's fries and chicken and a drink, chicken of your choice. What's the special flavor they got for the wing stop hot box? It's hot box.

And do you get it because today is April 20th? Yeah, they don't know that. The listeners, but we're recording on the funny we day. Yeah.

So they're doing the funny we joke for the funny we day. The hot box drizzled in spicy lit ranch, dude's lit ranch. It's not fucking ranch, okay? Don't call it ranch because it's not ranch.

It's lit ranch. Don't make me fucking say it again. Yeah, word, dude. I wouldn't dare.

Drizzled in spicy lit ranch, top of hot cheese, puff, dust, and a natural herb seasoning. It was a dry rub, which is interesting because it's top of the ranch. I don't know how it's dry. Mike, Mike, so you got the wings and I got the sandwich.

Yeah, can I just say, I will not, I don't think I'll be partaking in the wing stop sandwich because that bun, I don't want, I fucking enough with the brioche, dude. Yeah, have you not had it all or you have? No, I haven't had it yet. The bun is, it's not just brioche.

It sucks, the bun is straight bad. What is with people in fucking brioche buns? I don't know, dude. I bet they're cheap.

They sound fancy, too. True. So, but let's not get hung up on brioche. We both got- I can.

This fucked up flavor, this absolutely bullshit flavor. I like it. And it was, mine was incredibly wet for something called a dry rub. I guess that was just the lit ranch.

Mine, see mine had not a lot of ranch at all. I don't, okay. So your ranch wasn't on the side. There was some ranch on the side and a little bit on the chicken.

And there was a little bit on the fries. The fries, by the way, hey, don't put ranch dressing on French fries and then pack it some up to go. Right, well, they're frickin'- Sorry, stink. They won't, yeah, it's true.

And like, I don't want fries with wings. I'm so sorry. There is but one perfect wing side and I have to tell you, it's veggie sticks, baby. Yeah, I do love them little carats and that little celery.

I hate celery, actually, but it does do exactly what it's supposed to do in that specific role. I had a little idea since these fries were so soggy. Maybe if I take a bite of a fry and a bite of the celery at the same time, it would simulate the crunch of a French fry. And you know what happened?

Interesting idea. I assume it did not go well. Well, what happened was this crunch was simulated but also tasted like fucking celery. So that's not quite what I was going for.

You put a fry in a celery in your mouth at the same time, you thought it wouldn't taste like celery. It wasn't like a whole ass fucking celery. It was a little bite of celery and a soggy fry. Damn, the crunch would help.

But bro, celery travels far for something that's insane. I do love that you were in the lab. Look at that celery. You know what, always in the lab, big dog.

I know. It's smart because you got it. You're looking at the wing stop fries and you're like, there's no way these can't be improved on the bottom. I preferred that to turning my oven on and toasting them up.

I know, I'm not going to toast. I can't do a twice baked potato from wing stop. Now, tell them what this sauce is like though. Can you tell them about that spicy cheesy dry rub?

I mean, it seems like it was designed for people with partners that are out of town. There's no way it was like a oniony, garlicky, cheesy, spicy, black. I was into it, frankly. But like, if I had to breathe in another human beings face today, they'd turn into bean juice.

For me, I would not be partaking in this again, but maybe the wings are different than the sandwich. But mine was just about the saltiest thing I've ever eaten. It just dried me right up with how salty it was. It tasted too much like craft mac and cheese powder to me.

Like that specific cheese powder. See, I think we had a different experience on this. Well, probably a different supplier. The wing stop and hash it on the wing stop.

It's not the same. You don't think it came from the same chicken? I thought that this would be a good bit because we both had the same thing. But now I'm starting to think that maybe wing stops sort of across the board.

They are unable to replicate each other's sort of presentation of the chicken. This is probably, I don't know, maybe going to be a pretty spicy hot take. And I might be wrong. So, correct me if I am.

But is it possible that I don't fucking want a fried chicken sandwich? I don't think fried chicken needs bread. I think all bread does is make it worse. I didn't really consider that until now.

First of all, no such thing as too much bread. That's the first thing. Like, put breading on my breading. It's fine.

You like fucking chicken parm, dude. That's, come on. What are we talking about here? Oh, you know what?

So I don't know what you're even. Well, you did get me. So what I'm trying to say is besides my single favorite sandwich of all time, I don't like fried chicken sandwiches. I said fried chicken doesn't need bread.

I didn't even put it together. Yeah, same. I didn't even put it together that chicken parm was a sandwich. I was thinking like chicken parm in spaghetti, you know, like at an Italian restaurant.

I was like, that's a lot of carbs too. But yeah, you're right. Yeah, sure. Remember Big Z out of a bread bowl?

Shout out to that. Yeah, little raise, I believe, or sweet raise? One of those. I think called pasta Roma or something.

No, dude. Because I think it was pasta. No, I think it was like little rais. Little rais.

Anyways, obviously we're here to talk about grocery stores. Yeah, chicken's a grocery. Chicken is a grocery. Very good Wilder.

New merch, new merch. Chicken nikids a grocery. The merch for even not me. I wouldn't even buy it.

Oh, by the way, shout out to whoever's speaking a merch. We do have a merch store. You can find a link on the, and the, all types of social media as we have. Somebody sent me a fanny pack, one of our fanny packs.

And I didn't, I checked. I didn't accidentally order it. So thank you. But also, who are you?

Tell me. Wow, love that. Yeah. That sounds very much, well, no, she wouldn't have your address.

It sounds like something LED would do on accident. Yeah, but it did get sent to my new address, which almost nobody even has. It's a, yeah, weird stuff. I don't think that I did that.

Well, this is not the time to find out, but you know, we'll get it settled. And you'll get a proper thank you from, from my, I got to start some categories. Strategies. Hello.

I want aisles, dude. Yeah, dude. Aisles, dude. No way.

Oh my God. Sick word. That's. Dude, no, there's an E.

Isles. Isles is the name of a fucking alien. No, bro. This motherfucker's an English teacher.

You're drinking my ass. Damn, dude. Where's Hard as Hell? Get it in there then, would you?

I did. Oh, sick. Damn, is that was dude? That's crazy.

We've been pronouncing it wrong all the time. Sick word, I guess. What about time of time? That kind of feels like strategy, but if you want it, we could do that.

No, that's fine for strategy. Well, let's talk about it. What's the time for you? I mean, it's kind of the question we've all been chasing our whole lives, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah. Because here's what I do, and it's not ideal because it's a pain in the ass. I go, I try to go, I try to get in my car no later than 9 AM. Okay, you're an early bird to the grocery.

I go to the TJ, and there is but one TJ here. So like, you know TJ already a process. Yeah. Imagine if there's only one.

Right. So, okay. I got to get in there before we deal with this. I feel like I'm going to talk a lot about Trader Joe's.

That's fine. I mean, we could do a whole Trader Joe's F probably, but it would just be us ranking all their snacks, and we, that's no good. We're going to hear that. That's for the Patreon later.

That's for that fucking Trader Joe's podcast that we were not asked to host. It's honestly insane. And I listened to it for about 10 seconds, and it was god awful boring. They were talking about the supply lines.

Oh, God, dude. In the pros will spice it up for your evening. You got everyone wearing Hawaiian shirts and ring and bells in there like it's cool or some shit, and then you turn the podcast on and it's like, well, there is a Northwind headland coming down and it's slowing down the delivery of our mustard or whatever. That sucks, dude.

What about employees? Okay. I think we should just do characters because I think there's good. I think the perfect time is during the regular workday if you can swing it.

If you have a Tuesday off, go during, go, like you said, 9 a.m. even like a 1 p.m. You know, like the lunch rush is maybe gone, but it's not, I just like during the working hours is the best. I think late night is a two because you beat the rush, but also the produce is a hellscape.

And I think we got to put, we got to put early bird in two because that is not fun. I do not like the first thing I do in the morning to be going to Trader Joe. Well, yeah. And like if you get real early, like I used to roll into a grocery store near my work at like 730 and get like a little sandwich, I was going to eat for lunch later and they're like still, they're open, but they're still like putting stuff out.

I don't want to be there before I wish they wouldn't even open the doors before that. It makes me uncomfortable when like there's no fish in the meat area because they haven't like brought it out from the freezer yet. It bums me out. They're not quite late as like week day after work, right?

That's like the worst. Inglace near me, it's pretty big. Ingles has a large stores and the one in me is a fucking dumpster fire. I've heard it referred to as shingles, this particular location.

Oh sure. But it's so big that it's never that bad. I'm a little self check out boy, which I think is a three in strategy. Yeah, I can't.

If it's a normal, unless you have like a major, major hall, like that can be a whole thing. But like if you took a couple things, that's that's money. That motherfucker that works there half the time with this guy in character in a one, just sleeping just with his head down in his arms, sleeping. Who's sleeping?

Guy, the little Mr. Manager who's supposed to be guarding the self check out aisle who needs to fucking see any alcohol. Oh, so if you have to buy alcohol, he comes and checks your thing. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, sleepy Joe. I think self check out actually has to be a two because if you buy booze, it's such a process. Yeah, it is. I don't use it for that.

But yeah, I guess it's two. For me, for example, someone who often has to run to the store and get like a pack of seltzer to rank, I don't want to stand in line. I want to do the self check out and I don't want to fucking deal with sleepy Joe. Right.

Okay. Fair enough. Can I say that I think that an express lane is a three? Yes.

Okay. And I think that more of our society should be built in the way that grocery store express lanes are built. Like it is just like a common sense service. You're not going to take too long.

Let's just get you out of here buddy. It just makes sense. I feel like yeah, it's the carpool lane. A more place it should be like this.

Like I should be able to, there should be a separate line that won't stop when I go in and order my hot box where like if somebody in front of me has five kids or I see that they're like looking at their phone and they're going to order from 10 of their buddies, I should have a separate line. I don't want to be with this person, you know, or like a family at the movie theater and the kids are going to decide to be nachos and pizza. Please, I'm just kidding my popcorn. It's all I need.

Please just let me through. I think there should be a third line with a selection of weapons that you can use to like Katana, the children that are bothering you in the theater too. That's a smart and reasonable common sense laws folks. So express lane is a three.

Now I'm going to get, I'm going to catch a little flack for this one. I actually think that we are in a green potentially. This is a solo activity, would you say, the grocery store? I mean, it is bet, I don't think it's, it's not horrible.

Like very pretty good would be a duo, three plus is hell. Yes, it's best done solo for sure. Yeah, solo is the best. I mean, we don't even have to get too much into it, but like me personally, I'm a, ooh, and we could maybe talk about this too.

I'm an in and out type of guy. I kind of want to know, even at Trader Joe's, I sort of know like, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm like, okay, I'm not, I'm going to get these five things I always get, whatever my free is some bread or whatever. And then I have a couple of special little treats in mind and along the way, we'll see what happens. My sweet beloved is a walk down every aisle type and even at like a safe way, she'll walk down a lot of us.

There's no time for that. I can't a peruse and she admits to it. She's a peruser. It's got to be a two for me.

I'm a little bit of both. I go to Trader Joe's for example, and like I have one sweetie, I'm allowed to get one sweetie, but I don't know what's going to be, baby. You know what I'm saying? I am going to do a little peruse.

Right. Exactly. I'm going to do a little bit of a list. Guys, just make a list.

It's so easy to just make a list. Check it twice. And that's why Santa does it is it's originally how he walked into the grocery store and he was like, I'm going to check this. I did it.

Didn't work out. But guess what? I only checked it once. Got to check it twice.

Bingo. I'm in the letter. I mailed the Santa is just like P crisps, garlic spread, yes, bag of onions, peanut butter. You want to shout out some grocery stores that you like a lot.

Where do you go? Yeah. I mean, we don't have enough of them near us, but sprouts number one for me. I love, I love sprouts.

Sprouts is a three to me, but I've never been to one. They're great. They're like, it's like a similar, not quite the same vibe as a trader Joe's like a little less snacky, but they got their shit on lock as far as I'm concerned. Like they have a delicious little bakery where they got lots of fresh baked treats every morning.

We have one of those here. And then a big thing is they have, they have a lot of bulk stuff like they have the bulk bins up front where you get like bulk like, I don't know fucking oatmeal or whatever, but also brove. It's like a little candy store. You could get bulk gummy bears.

Oh, nummy gummy bears. I do like that. Yes. Those like peanuts like nuts for nuts type peanuts that are like covered like fucking honey glazed or whatever, all different types of little snack comes and you just get however much you want.

It's great. We do not have sprouts. Yeah, we have them pretty spare. There's not one.

There's about five grocery stores in between us and a sprout. So it doesn't make a ton of sense to go there. That's not a regular for us, but it is. They can sell if you got a sprout, you go put some respect on same because it's quite good.

Oh, obviously Trader Joe's where you put in Trader Joe's. I think it's a three. It's obviously got its warts, but what are we talking about? Trader Joe's is so good.

It is. I think that despite all the fucking shit that you have to put up with the shop at Trader Joe's, I keep doing it. Oh my God. Yes, I'll never stop.

I love that place. Yeah, it's good as hell. I didn't put up the only time I didn't put up with it is in New York. You had to legit.

It was like getting into it was harder to get into Trader Joe's in like a lot of like pretty exclusive restaurants. I'm like not super joking. There was always like a 40 minute line. Oh, no, no, I have no line.

I will not I will not wait an online to go to the grocery store ever. It gets worse, honestly. Let me tell you, let me just give you all a picture. Shout to the beautiful Trader Joe's downtown Brooklyn and it is in like an old bank.

So it's like one of these like beautiful like almost like an art deco building and has these vaulted ceilings inside, but you wait, they have a fucking bouncer outside. So you wait in a line outside and get led in as people get led out. And then you you are put as you walk through the door with your little trolley, you are put into the line for the checkout and the line for the checkout winds the entire store. And so you are to shop as you are to wait in line.

Those two activities happen at the same time. No, no, dude. Why would anyone do that? Well, enough people did it to form a whole line in the store.

Like a ride? Especially yeah, like kind of a ride. Yeah. It's something you're just fucked.

You going to run on back and you stop the line to do that? I don't you just pop out. I mean, I always this is one where you have to show up with a companion. If you look up pictures on the line of it is a beautiful Trader Joe's and I'm sure that the line thing is not always happening, but every time I've been, it's it's line time.

Wow, that sounds fucking horrible. It sucks shit. So that New York was a no flies on for Trader Joe's and not that I'm always buying my boozy at Trader Joe's, but you know, New York got them dumb laws. So Trader Joe's would have to have a separate location attached where they sell their wines.

You have to wait in a second line if you want to buy wine. Well, booze. Yeah, I mean, that's better. I mean, what very not quite lit stores places that are not allowed to sell hard liquor in a grocery store.

God damn am I spoiled. It's all over this damn country. We are like, California, it just never made me think of it ever. And then we go anywhere else.

You're like, wait, this Walgreens doesn't have four loco? Why is it? Are they out? Is there some in the back you could bring to me?

What's going on? I can't be going to the ABC store. Fucking hate the ABC store, dude. A grocery a demerit is a grocery store that requi- and I unfortunately like TJ's borderline a grocery store that requires you to go to other groceries.

Yeah, I mean, TJ is that though, because I don't I don't get fruit. Is an absolute no for me at Trader Joe's. Right. I mean, it's so tough.

Everything at Trader Joe's expires either immediately or never. Right? Like, there's so much frozen food that it's just like, oh, this last 40 years. They're bread is moldy before you check out.

Yeah. I mean, I guess we could just put deli counter as a three, but specifically when a grocery store has the little olives station, you know what I'm talking about? They have little olives. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The mise. Yeah. Oh, oh, oh, yes. So bro, it brings me to what I have to say.

I do want to put whole foods as a three. Um, I don't know if I can abide by it. I know it's annoying and bad, but that stuff that they sell in that place, I like very much. Okay.

I do not care about the crisis, but I like all the shit that's in that store, my friend. Right. I agree. I agree with you.

And I look, we both hate Papa Bee Bose more than anything. Yes. And down with Amazon, but if you don't think that grocery store fucks shit up, you're wrong. The hot aisle alone.

It's the best hot bar in the game. Yes. Oh, a hot bar though. I do need a single hot bar.

Oh, it is a fucking. I bet it's like a hometown buffet over there. Maybe. Well, it's like the fucking eggs in Godzilla.

Oh, okay. But I think that the pricing is enough to knock whole foods down. It's not crazy. But if you want to get the good good, you are paying top.

Like their hot bar now is $1,199 a pound. Yeah, but this one I'm saying is I think that their deli is worth the price of admission. I'm not willing to pay an extra like $1.50 for my bread. When the bread is not like, it's not like markedly better than the bread I'm getting at TJ's.

The other day I went in, I grabbed a bag of apple. I was there for something else and I wanted some apples and I grabbed a bag of apples and I didn't look at the price of the apples when I grabbed them. That was dumb of me. I think you're their apples.

It's a bag of apples. Yeah, it's a cost $10. It costs $10. Oh, no.

I was already in line. I was in the self check out. Joking me. Oh, I'll tell you what, whole food self check out too is a spick and span.

It's a tight ship. Tight ship, bro. Tight ship. I need a tight ship.

I'm going to point tight ship. You know, before we started doing this podcast, I'm not sure that I knew this about myself, that I needed such a tight ship. Oh, I find that living in this fucking place. Okay, but I think I don't know.

I can put whole foods in three, but it feels more like a two to me. Oh, I'll tell you how about this. I'm going to put whole foods to whole foods three, six, five. Have you been one of those?

No, what are they going on there? It's the TJ model that Whole Foods is doing. Okay, then yeah. It's a little cheaper.

It's lots of like frozen prepackaged snack. It's like exactly TJ, but with Whole Foods J. It's fucking exquisite. It's such a good thing.

That runs me out a little bit because it feels like they're trying to step on TJ's turf, which I don't love. They are, for sure. They are absolutely are. They're generic brands.

They're white label. They're three, six, five. It's good. They have good stuff.

Yeah. The brand itself, three, six, five. Stinker, guys. Back to the drawing board.

Yeah. It fucking sucks. It sounds like it should be the generic brand at like Target. Target as a grocery store is a two though.

What do you think? They're like all full grocery stores. I guess that goes for Walmart too, which I just went to for the first time. I really did not like that experience.

Let me ask you this real quick, real quick, before we leave the Whole Foods Hot Bar because there's a lot to say here. What do you, what's your move when you hit the fucking food wonderland that is the Whole Foods Hot Bar? Dog, my move? Let me tell you what my move is.

Every time I go in and I say to myself, Jesse, you will not get $19 worth of food at this place. You cannot and you will not. And what's more, sir, you will take a look at those salads and you will think long and hard about maybe getting something a little light because it's only 1 PM and you have the rest of the day in front of you. And DAG now, what do I always walk away with?

A bunch of freaking pulled pork and mac and cheese and I pay $25 for it on my way out the door and then I feel like hot shit for six hours straight because I ate six pounds of food, greasy food from the Whole Foods Hot Bar. That's my strategy. It's almost identical for me, but I start, I fool myself a little bit more than you because here's what happens. I go in, I go a little bit, a couple scoops of them, some light fresh out, a little tomato cucumber thing that I love.

Yeah, of course. I'm a tortellini tomato pasta. Ooh, a little naughty, but it's not that bad. I don't have a little pasta salad.

Yeah, you're easing into it. Ooh, what's that? Ooh, the fried chicken just came out, didn't it? Ooh, I can smell it.

Maybe I'll just grab a little, like a one drum stick and then ooh, what goes with fried chicken, maybe a little bit of this orange chicken that they got here and then I'm going to get an orange chicken. Obviously I got to get the egg rolls and wait a minute, how about some mac and cheese for the original fried chicken and at that point it's ringing in at like $17 and then oops, grabbed a little sushi roll next to it, didn't I? Oh man, yeah, it sucks. It sucks being so weak.

You know, just absolutely weak human beings. I think there's something primal about like buffet capability. It's insane. I mean, we obviously lived it in the Kome days to its absolute worst extent, but it makes me ferrule a hot bar.

It really does. And like, I don't know who else really got the dank hot bar. Actually, there's a market here called the Fresh Market, have you heard of that? He's a hoity toity little market like whole food.

I think it's even more expensive than whole food. They got sick fucking hot bar. Yeah, of course. I love the idea that someone at a grocery store was like, man, fuck, we should have lasagna.

Yeah, and they're like, yeah, like frozen lasagna, now lasagna and chow mein and enchiladas right next to each other. I love that. Oh, you mean like a buffet? Yeah, we should have a buffet.

Okay, fine. Makes sense to me. We're a grocery store. Why wouldn't we?

So gang, I recently got introduced to Publix, P-U-B-L-I-X. Did not see that coming the first time I went there. It's wonderful. It's got all this stuff.

And they got a dank hot bar, lot of soups. They got pizzas. They got the sushi sucks shit, but that's fine. They got the bang in a sandwich counter that I've ever had at a grocery store.

Pub subs are the fucking truth, gang. They got Boris had meat. They got the fresh, fresh, flaky French rolls. Holy shit, public sandwiches are absolutely incredible.

It's a done deal. And I tossed in there deli as a three aisle. You got it. It's the biggest knock on TJ as far as I'm concerned.

You don't match what kind of fucked up shit they'd get up to. If they had a deli, what kind of weirdo. They'd be putting all types of different frozen treats. I'd have a tikka masala sandwich.

Where do we put like ultra bougie grocery store? I can't even think of any names of them because I never been to any of them, but I know there's a bunch of New York. In LA, that would be Gelsons. Gelsons, right?

Yes. It's a two because another situation where it's like you are getting what you pay for, but I don't want to pay that. Yeah. Well, a lot of times they don't even have, I don't know, it's like you wouldn't, it's another place where like, I'm not going to get my regular groceries here.

Like I don't want to buy, I want a couple of specialties. That's where the Mizzet shines. Yes, yes, yes. The Gelsons deli, like the meats that they slice there are mum.

I'm sure that's what those places are fucking good for. Oh, gross samples. Three. Yes.

So Costco is a grocery store then. Oh, and it's, it's got to be a two, unfortunately. You know, I have to tell you, it really says a lot about Trader Joe's that we keep going back. Like I would go to Costco every week for my groceries.

Yeah, but it's, I mean, yeah, Trader Joe's is a production, but it's not a production like Costco. It's a fucking production. Yeah, but the other thing with Costco dog is that like, I straight up can't buy, I need my bread for the week. I eat a sandwich like at least four days a week for lunch.

I can't buy bread at Costco because it only comes in two packs. Like you can't buy milk at Costco because you could only buy two whole gallons at a time. Like I just, dude, it's Costco one. It's not a one because if you have a family, it's got to be the littest shit on earth.

Yeah, it's true. If you have a big family or you're having a dinner party. Yeah, it's a, I think it's a one for me, to be honest. Like I, for all the reasons we just said, but dude, if you had like two kids even, oh my God, who were just plowing for all your goddamn, like, you know, Welch's little fruit snacks.

Okay, well we bought a 140 pack. So let's cool it down a little bit here. Is there any ones? I don't, I don't love Safeway.

I don't mind. I don't think it's a one, but people hate it. It's always situational, right? Like you go to the nice neighborhood and the grocery store there is going to be all this and it's going to be nice.

I think, I'm going to say like big grocery chain is it too. And that's your Albertsons, your luckies, your Safeways, your, we have knob hill, which is like, or knob hill? No, yeah, I think it is knob hill and it's like Rayleys, it's the same. And they're, they're like a little bit better than a whole, or than a Safeway, but not like up to sprouts or TJ level.

Like it's just not. Here's a one grocery store. Seven, eleven. Oh word.

Yeah, that's like a bad bodega. You know what I mean? Like I'm not. Most New York City grocery stores are, they only have like three aisles.

They're just not room for them guys. It's just fine. And all of the groceries are hell of expensive. Oh, bro.

All the fucking hate. That's a new one for me too. Dude, Chelsea, I think loves Aldi. What the fuck is there to love about Aldi?

I don't know. Maybe it's her mom that loves Aldi? That place is a shithole. I don't know.

It's places. And they got the little aisles dude. Ooh, for aisles? One, fuck it, put the little ones.

What are you talking about? They're like, have you ever been to a grocery store in like England or Europe where they're like not very tall? Oh, yeah. They're like high.

I mean, that's a convenience store basically. A lot of them. Yeah, but it's not those, but it's like grocery shelves. You know what I mean?

Interesting. But they're just fucking short. They're like as tall as you. I don't like that.

I hate that shit. I need walls around me, please. Do you want to chat with your clerk? I don't.

I'll take your pleasantries. I don't want to chat. And I'll tell you what, that is another knock on TJ's. Oh, dude, every fucking time.

I think they have an initiative. Like I think that it's actually a corporate thing where they have to point out one of your items and either say I love this thing or I've been meaning to try this. People like that though. Like I've heard of people that like Trader Joe's for that reason.

Yeah. And I think it probably tests well, but I go to Trader Joe's too much where I'm just like, we're going to do this right now. I know dude. I was there today and I brought my own back and I start bagging it up.

And the dude's like, Hey dude, you're a natural. Okay. Yeah, dude, I got a future in grocery. I think that's cool dude.

Great to have a backup always. The worst is I have a Lakers hat and obviously it is a never occurrence when someone walks up to me and says, Hey, I love the Lakers. Right. Yeah.

But one time I had a checkout guy who was from like Long Beach or something and he wanted to just chat Lakers and I was like, Oh man, dude, this is not the time. Yeah. I don't want to. I got no time for Chitster Chats.

Where do we put as far as aisles go? The little the checkout aisles. The little um, your candy, your gum, your tic-tacs. Sometimes I got a weird.

When was the last time you took something from there? Well, I'm a dirty little snack boy. And so every once in a while. So am I, but they don't have my snackies there.

Right. I don't want like an Abba Zaba, you know? Yeah, well fucking nobody does. That's why they have them there.

But no, I like, um, I mean, for me, it's like I'll tweet. I'll get like a, like a, like a Snickers like just like a little for the car ride home. You know, I need my little tree. I did a chore.

Yeah. Yeah, of course, of course, of course you got to get your tree. You know, you know what? I mean, sometimes I hear the song.

I can't explain it. Gum. I'll just grab a gum. Dude, I, I mean, you're talking to a, you're talking to a gum lord over here.

I fucking pound gum all day. Oh, fucking gum lord. So I'm going to say the checkout aisle is a, is it too then? Because I, the other thing they have there is bevs and that's another little treat for me is like, uh, get a little, a little, a little seltzy on the way out, you know?

Sure. Love that. Um, oh, Trader Joe's doesn't have single serve beverages. Yeah, it doesn't make, what the fuck is that amount?

Unless you're drinking one of those big Santa Cruz juices. I guess you could walk out with a big old pomegranate juice. Yeah, a fatty, like a big fatty kombucha. Yeah.

I don't understand. I can't tell you how many times I've been at Trader Joe's and I'm like, I wish I could just get a little something. Yeah, that's all I want, a little something. A little bit, still a three, bro.

A little ginger beer, a little, a little seltzer water, please. I need a bubbly on my way out. Geez, Louise, what do you think I am? Obviously, I don't know if there's going to be a lot of good characters, I guess, because I'm thinking about like, cry, like there's always kids at the grocery store because it's parents doing their shopping.

Here's a character I like, the grocery store employee who knows where all the shit is and has the answer to my question. Oh, sure. I don't want you to be like, oh, maybe I'll sell it. I know, do it.

It's so tough because I agree with you wholeheartedly and every time somebody knows right away, I walk away and I'm like, damn, I can never do that. I could work at this Trader Joe's for five straight years. And if somebody asked me where like the fucking fish sticks were, I'd be like, I don't know what the rest of the frozen stuff like I, but sometimes they know like to the point they're like, oh, it's in the frozen out like right kind of right in the middle next to the like frozen the okay. Wow.

Dog. For you. Reminding me of another bad TJ thing that I thought there's so many bad ones that I'm considering we have to move. I know that's why I was considering it the first place, but go on.

What's the deal with why they're always, they always move the shit around. Well, that's another. Why do they reorganize the store? All that's another initiative, dude.

Then you don't do what I'm trying to do, which is get the fuck in and out. Oh, fucking that shit is infuriating. I just thought of another bad TJ one, but we're just going to end up doing a Trader Joe's episode and it's not going to work out. It's fine.

I don't have any opinions about grocery stores besides them. Put it into and what's your other thing? I don't like their cereal selection. Oh, yeah, that a lot of the, yeah, it's just cereals bad, but that's like sprouts is like that too.

And this is it guys. There isn't cereal better than the junk food cereal. We've been trying for so long. But I don't think that that counts as a knock on Trader Joe's because that's also a knock on every store.

It is. Yes. White label cereal is not as good, but it's not just the white label. Like the, like the options at TJ are not white label.

I mean, obviously they have like the, the cheerier. Sure. They don't have like their cinnamon toast. Right.

All they have is they just got the healthy. Cheerios and puffins, dude and puffins are fine. The peanut butter ones are pretty tasty. They come in these weird box sizes and it's not what I want.

Yeah. I don't want gorilla much. No, please no. Gorilla much.

Okay. Okay. Vibe. Let's say some positive because this is, I think this is where Trader Joe's sores, baby.

It's a themed kind of. Right. I think that's pretty good. Yeah.

I mean, I like that a lot. Trader Joe's all have different themes, right? Isn't that the thing? I don't know if they all different.

I mean, they all ring that pirate bell and wear them Hawaii insurance. Oh, well in, in LA at least, all of the LA Trader Joe's have a different theme. Interesting. Like what?

So like one is pirate. One of them is like LA theme where all the checkout aisles are like named after different streets. There's another one that's something else. It's interesting.

It's like a thing they do there. I wonder if major cities do that. Yeah. Could be.

I don't remember any of the ones in New York having the theme was you're in hell, but when they got tunes going, you ever just like cruising through Safeway and you realize like, Oh, excuse me. What is this? We got a little Michael Jackson playing or like Elton John, like kind of vibing a little bit. Some killer tunes at the grocery store.

I do not hate you. I'm rolling through. I'm rolling through smart and final and you know, I'm single on to me. Smart and final, dude.

Oh, that's a two. I love smart and final. Oh, smart and final. What's this?

Game song? Smart and final. It's way to go. Shop out of money.