Growing battle with the ‘binger’

I was an outpatient at Rivendell for two months before being admitted as an inpatient. The most significant development of this outpatient period was that my bingeing intensified. At the time I had no idea that the “binger” was a part of me. I identified only with my restricting “good girl” (anorectic) self. I was convinced the binger was my enemy, threatening to explode the safe, secure world I had created with all my rules and regulations. I had yet to discover she was the hungry, needy part of me that refused to be pushed down and denied forever. (Growing Battle with the Binger, Illuminating Anorexia, p. 69).