Why Chasing Happiness Makes Women in Their 40s More Miserable — and What Works Instead

Happiness often feels like a finish line we’re all running toward, something to be achieved, earned, or chased. Yet, as life unfolds–especially in our 40s–that chase can feel exhausting.In this insightful episode of The Forties Formula podcast, hosts Jasmin Dhillon and Amanda Lim sit down with SHA-EN YEO, a renowned Positive Psychology practitioner, two-time TEDx speaker, and upcoming author, to explore the deeper meaning of happiness, fulfillment, and intentional living in your 40s. Sha-En brings science and soul to the conversation as she challenges the modern myth that happiness means feeling good all the time.Drawing from Positive Psychology and her own lived experiences, she explores how societal expectations, caregiving roles, and the constant pressure to “have it all together” often prevent women from experiencing genuine joy. She explains that learning to slow down, listen inward, and nurture authentic relationships can transform not just how we live, but how we feel about the lives we’re living.Together, they explore:• Why chasing happiness can make it feel even more out of reach• The impact of expectations on relationships, happiness, and resilienceBetween careers, families, caregiving, and self-expectations, joy sometimes feels more like an obligation than an emotion. The truth, however, is that happiness is not something we need to find or pursue. It is something we choose moment by moment, presence by presence.---------CHAPTERS00:00 – Episode Snippet03:17 – Chasing vs. choosing happiness06:19 – What is Positive Psychology?09:04 – The evolving journey of marriage12:03 – How expectations steal joy15:29 – The emotional load of midlife women18:08 – Expression is the antidote to depression23:01 – The three types of stress27:00 – Fuel Your Forties Segment: Grounding and calming rituals31:24 – Adaptive vs. maladaptive coping39:08 – Hot or Hype42:33 – Can money really buy happiness?45:20 – Three tips to live happier every day47:56 – Toxic positivity vs. authentic happiness49:19 – The Forties Formula: Redefining success by honoring your current capacitySpecial Thanks to Our Sponsors:🥩 The Meat Club – Get $20 off with code TFF20🌯 Guzman y Gomez – Butter Chicken is here! Win a GYG feast worth $40 by reviewing ANY TFF episode and sending a screenshot to @thefortiesformula - before Nov 23!🛏️ Cozy Earth – Sleep comfortably with soft bamboo sheets and cozy pajamas. Use code TFF for 41% off. Free shipping in Singapore over $560 and in the US over $50.______________📘 Free Guide — The Forties Formula E-book Your simple, honest guide to what’s changing in your 40s — hormones, cravings, energy, strength and more.