Logan all you hang nails and see snails welcome to another episode of Jesse and Wilder's Guide to Life. I'm Jesse that's Wilder. We're here to guide your life. Sure is.
Hang on and see snails. Yeah. I have to tell you the last couple of ones I'll pin them out of I need to shake it up a little. I'm out of steam.
You've said an impossible precedent for yourself. I know and I thought for a long time I was like this is so fucking easy and now I'm like did I say this already? Did it is it too much rhyming? Does it have to make sense?
Can I say porcupine and commemorative mug like does it matter? I don't know. No it has to rhyme at least porcupine and commemorative mug is a rejected idea of yours. No I was just I was just playing just playing around.
That's one that didn't quite make it to airtime. It didn't just it didn't make the cutting room floor even. It didn't make the cutting it didn't even get in the room. It was a I got checked it at the door.
Yeah that's a stinker. But now it's out in public. I'm actually if I had a list of these. You know that I'm coming up with these essentially as soon as I hit record right but there's no I have no doubt I certainly hope so and if not stick to that story.
Yeah I'm not like over like we get off and I'm like all right now I can get back to my list of all my my rhyming pairs. Do you have one of those funny writers room boards like a whiteboard just full of different options? Yeah yeah it looks like it's been erased a hundred times but nobody's actually cleaned it so it's all like grindy and shit. Some of it's circled but for no like sort of rhyme or reason.
Yeah dude flip it around. Other side you got the Algo that you've been working on. I've been in the lab I've been working on meta too don't tell Zuck about it. That's a good call dude.
Yeah people don't think enough about sequels to websites. No no no and we should dude if if somebody if right now somebody said Neopets to disrupt don't you think we'd stop recording? For sure we would go get that big. You know pets.
She's omelet dude in the sky and just fucking lock in and grind Neopets for a couple hours. Come on let's just change the topic to Neopets. Neopets. Remember very little about it.
Neopets dude I'm a Neopets I'm in there fucking grinding so much in the school library seventh grade just grind in my ass off dude. Yeah dude my guy. Anyways talking about Haya today. Today's the one we're doing hat because why?
I don't neither of us like is like a big hat guy I would say like we both wear hats sometimes. What if it was revealed that one of us is like really into insane hats. The more the more eccentric the better with me I like a big feather. We'll get into it.
Yeah we have okay so I have a couple of top my topics are flowing okay okay I want the one topic to be the classics and this is like the ones we know. One is gonna be accessories yeah boy that's spelling that word. Okay that's what you think about people that are wearing the hat as a category. Okay the I'm gonna call it the wearer.
The vessel. The vessel sure. The vessel for the hat and then I think that brim is its own category. What do you say of this?
I mean sure I think it's got brim and material might be but let's hold off on that because I don't know that I think yeah like I think there'll be some overlap with brim and accessories. I disagree. So I think sure I think something we learned from last episode is like this is supposed to be funny. No it's not I think we gave up on that a long time.
And so as soon as I said like material of hats and I just envisioned me being like damn dude what do you think about a wool hat like I just wanted to stop recording so I'm gonna say I'm in the comedy cannon with fodder baby. I'm gonna stay away from that one right now. I think we should normalize these episodes being 24 minutes and just like all heaters. What are we doing 45 minutes is crazy and hour or two parters like sex miter.
Oh yeah we'll okay okay actually this is huge we'll start releasing shorter podcasts and then we will create fake social media accounts to drum up interests in the the Jabukut which yeah is like people will be like release the Jabukut I heard from somewhere I'd literally wear the sources coming from like it's just like Zack Snyder texting his whole like his entire phone like his whole his whole book. It's crazy the the minute I feel like that movie was even announced. We're talking about the new Zack Snyder flick that I've not seen the minute that shit was announced I already saw this the Twitter verse was a buzz with the Snyder cut and I of course clicked on it thinking they were going back to the old Snyder cut no that is the ways of new cut baby there is a new Snyder cut in 10 yes to cut too furious so I think that we should start doing that for this podcast like we could end this now before we even get to the rubric and then be online like I wish the studio would let's release the full thing because this is a mess as it stands off the fucking stories unresolved I mean jeez quitting before we get going is always I think of our best interest I am just going our social media camp right now and just tweet hashtag release the Jabukut thank you thank you so much and then just let the people wonder about that yeah and by the people I mean Jacob Rubin and Johnny Stanton yep and that's those are people that matter to me those are great people yeah so what's the yeah and they'll and they'll they'll see it and they'll go hmm this is stupid and then now they're listening to this and they're like okay no it's still stupid okay the classics let's talk about that the classics be meaning hi give it a two it's functional but I yeah it'll do or for for Annie and our Canadian friends a took I'm actually want kind of want to give to go to Mary what do you think about that but do you know how it smells because it's crazy how you tell go on then let me just spell B and IE and they just pronounce it to no no no no no T you Q you see that's a demerit to me T you Q you e someplace to spell it to you you is beanie something else in those cultures and they're just like they're doing the right thing they're just I believe a beanie and to create the same thing okay I think this is the first time I've experienced this I can't decide if two is a bonus point or a demerit what do you think about that well how about this to quit it you is a bonus point and toke the fucking I'm not token and smoking and joking baby I'm trying to wear a damn is it with an O is it T O Q you yeah that's what yeah that's tossed that's absolutely treasurely okay so a beanie is two but I'm okay I want to get a distinction right now a real beanie is two and I feel like this might come close to home for a couple of people that we even know the little beanie that is like more yarmul the fisherman's cap if it doesn't cover your ears if it doesn't cover your ears it doesn't play for me I'm sorry but but but but but but I think that that cat looks good on ball people oh you're right and it's so annoying yep it's so I think it's look the ball these can have one dude I know the problem is fishermen's cap okay the problem is I'm gonna get fisherman's cap to because it's a it's a two because it's no good for hair very good for no yes your statement is correct let the ball these have one and I wish that like the resident would fucking figure it out you know what I mean yeah like sure I don't mean you have a beautiful head of hair up there it's like long block you like for hair and you have this fucking little like saucer of beanie on top of your head no thank you dude yeah I'll tell you who else can rock this obviously a fisherman you've got like of course like a Nordic motherfucker with a big sweater and a net full of salmon that feels fake though doesn't it like if you met that person you'd be like no way you're a I do not do there plenty of them here in actual North Carolina oh you got you got all the big Nordic fishermen and their little fishermen they're actually I actually do know one Danish person who wears a fisherman cap and he looks good in it and he has hair the only fisherman I know is Chelsea's dad and I tell you what he would be caught dead in one of these fucking things it's a two let's talk about there's a variety of caps yep so for me a dad cap a classic big baseball slash dad cap is a three for me it's about the only hat I can wear yeah I've come around to him I didn't like him I was a big big flat rim guy in my yes I look like a fucking idiot in the flat room I would like to a lot of people do speaking of flat rooms for accessories can we get very not quite like a fucking sticker of authenticity take a fucking sticker off your hat do I know okay I was okay oh my god I don't care about your sticker bro no okay I agree with you but I like a sticker no no no I want to be I want to say it before anyone else can say it if me and you get on this podcast and the first 10 minutes we say we are against the flat brim and we are against the sticker it sounds like dog whistle racism like it does a little bit there's a cultural piece like a little bit fine fine but it's not about that you know it's not I know it's not dude but it's like and then the next thing is you're like and I know we're not talking about it but Sagi pants can go to you know what I mean it's not like we're walking the plank and fucking running out honestly legitimately the first thing I'm picturing is a fucking annoying ass cracker with a goddamn like fresh team that just won a champion I know I shiny ass sticker I'm thinking of like like a guy like a like a like a ripped sort of like Jim bro that wears his flat brim in the gym and it's like why like dude the hype beast attire entirely confide I know I know I just wanted to get it out there because we were one we were one skip away from it but I agree no let's let's keep going down the road like yeah that that is a no good I don't like corduroy too much that's okay we can call that it's a two accessory yeah a cord cord I had a corduroy hat isn't it why is it a two and not a one it sounds like a nightmare no it was but it was like a it was a brimmed cap so it was like a it was a baseball cap style it wasn't a flat brand I understand damn corduroy's all right okay can I say I want to get back to stickers real quick would it change your mind if it was just like a fresh it was like a Pokemon sticker like what if it was no that is tight if you had a fucking shiny Charizard on the front I probably even root for that team I was oh a rocket's hat don't care it's got a Charizard on it that's tight that's big dude that's that is fucking tight though where did you get that that's cool what did it come with that I'm into that okay it's a sticker of authenticity that can eat my ass and I'm gonna stick okay sticker of authenticity bonus points loaded up it should be treated treat your hat like cross baby you were talking about jibbit rocks dude what do you what are you loading it up with like pins whatever Charizard stickers pins could you put a pin on a hat yeah have you not seen people with pins on their hats do people but pins on hats all the time I don't pay attention anything like that so that okay I think pins on hats is a two because people do it and I think it's neat yeah I have no idea where to put a pin so I'm just psyched I have an idea for it right and the often when I see it is pin collectors the pinheads they call themselves and it's like sure at a Giants game who's got fucking 65 Giants pins it's a two because at a certain point you're wearing a metal helmet aren't you yeah you are and I would hate to get hit with a foul ball in that oh my god that's like the worst way I can imagine right on your noggin and just blood starts to come out from Bonicius gap top them all right into your dang skull that's like a final destination death yeah it's like a medieval torture device the iron maiden pins in my damn Giants gap yeah I hate that but I don't mind it like what you're saying like it's a giant's hat with a bunch of Giants pins we've got a uniform situation here I don't need just like Nate's hot dogs and also fucking John Kerry old election pin and I want it I want to tighten it up let's talk that the example you came up with sounds so tight like if I saw a like a dad cap that's a Nate's hot dogs and he had a John Kerry 2008 or whatever the fuck yeah fucking in damn that water village dad starter pack would you find a kickass actually I kind of love that I don't need it to be uniform vis-a-vis pin but we can move away because pins like you said it's hard enough man why are we creating rules why we put limits on them it's hard enough to find a cool place yeah it's fine I just like I like pins there's a lot of fucking do we have something that we haven't obviously talks about it all which is huge and is obviously a three is a big cowboy hat right big hockey cowboy yeah dude you ever heard the show before we love a cowboy hat I fucking got one I have one with my fucking initials engraved dude I know I'm so jealous I'm so jealous I think about it pretty often let's 10 gallon is not exactly what I'm looking for in my cowboy like that's different right that some hats let's go through some hats must be worn by a specific person and not specific personally a cowboy must wear a 10 gallon hat no one else will wear a 10 gallon hat what are they putting in there they're not noggin they want to go nuts I don't know yeah and like in my opinion all variations of a flat cap like a train conductor cap or jazz boy hat or one of those things I hate them all dude I said a jazz boy yeah yeah a newsy is that one's tough too because I do feel like some people Sam Jackson rocks that like the that shit backwards right and Sam Jackson is not doing himself any favors like he only rocks it because he's Sam Jackson you know what I mean he could look better in another hat I bet damn so you want to put a young hat I bet he looks sick yeah yeah I mean that's indisable okay a newsy hat as a one I think is a little bit of an upset but I don't I can't find the argument against it because I think I just think people look stupid I think of a tall linky white dude with facial hair that hasn't grown in all the way leaned over a piano with like a fucking toothpick in his mouth so okay this is let's get down to something real quick and this isn't gonna go on the rubric I don't think but let's talk about it because I think it's important well I guess the vessel we were skipping over the vessel but the tricky thing about a hat and you and I both know this because we're both we dabble in the dark arts but we don't fully commit is that sometimes a hat the it's razor thin margins in this field sometimes a hat it feels too much like you're trying to do something like have a little look you know what I mean it is an expression of your personality sometimes more in your face than others yeah like a newsy cap okay the guy you just described jazz jazz crackers what I'm gonna call him is a one yeah I hate um the flab rim cracker I can't just put all the crackers in here but like hype beast guy is a bad hat person I I should say I I I'm very strict with hats I hate all shades of fedora or would or basically all the music I listen to those dudes were hats that I hate okay but and those are all different so you hate is a full brim hat is what it sounds yeah I don't like that at all especially on a dude okay so I think a full brim is it too I've come around to it because I get a big nasty full brim hat when I'm on vacay and I'm gonna be in the Sun and I know okay I'm not talking about like a straw oh by the way bucket and straw pop them in very quite lit didn't go thank you those are literally the two types I was like a gardening hat to see those are those are functional you're talking about okay so if we're gonna put material in accessories which I'm fine with what you're talking about a lot of times is like a felt hat it is like a suede yeah brown yeah the full brim so I think full brim is a two because you full brim includes bucket straw sure it counteracts but I know what you're talking about a fedora or a trilby oh I hate that shit I just fucking I don't like it a lot of people like it I hate it yeah the only it sucks because like some people shout out to Ryan Damkroneen a fine gentleman haven't spoken to him in years some people do I do agree some people fucking rocket man he would just show up to a fucking open mic in a full suit with a like I don't know dude a fedora I always get it wrong when I say fedora it's a true be when it's when I say true be it's a fucking bowler I don't know I always get it wrong but he showed up with something over that and it didn't look like a fucking dick he looked like a guy it was just like yeah that looks right on you nice job dude yeah I I do agree there are certain people that can that can nail it overall I would equate wearing a fedora to walking around in public with a parrot on your shoulder yeah like oh oh what this yeah check out what I have look what I brought to this place it's this what is it what is it that you're looking at right now and it sucks because a lot of those guys are rocking it with a t-shirt and it's like you can't yeah the line between full brim and t-shirt and by the way this is almost exclusively men we're talking about I feel like yes yes is it's a fucking canyon you cannot rock that type of hat with a t-shirt and expect me to respect you to be honest what do you put it by while we're at it dude where do you put in a top hat dude pretty tough a top hat is tough I don't know if I've ever seen one you see what you've seen them like in life you've seen a top hat in real life dude I feel like you've seen someone wear a top hat I feel like it was kind of taller they actually pretty tall dude so let me give you some examples of top hats that I know you've seen okay in in real life in real life you're telling me you never saw one steam punk cosplayer at comic-con yeah well I hate that cosplayer obviously a magician I might have seen a magician with one that seems sort of necessary I want to see a magician in like a book and like Lakers at but I have seen I have seen like kids you know when your school has a kid that wears like a new z-cap or fedora and it's like clearly that they're like this kid's trying to figure himself out a little bit I've seen top hat kid where it's like he wears this like black coat that he's got and the same like fucking new balanced sneakers he's got and he's always got on his top hat and everyone's like damn Jared that's not it buddy that sucks it sucks so top hat to me is a little bit of a two because I think like if you're a blink-in's probably sick if you're is it even sick on a blink in the I don't know dude I like we just hit a Google of a maybe we can top no pun intended this hat like I'm looking at a honestly most of the pictures not a single picture is he wearing a top hat first of all not one not fucking one take a Google to a blink and y'all this is a fucking myth this is Mandela effect I know I just saw I just know the famous picture of him there's a famous picture of him like outside of a tent during the fucking war where he's wearing top hat I just saw one time and everyone's like you're the top hat guy that sucks dude it does suck and you know that's why he stopped wearing it he's like well man I'm trying it just try one thing no okay I think you could pop like a backwards hat on on Abe oh like a little like maybe what if Abe was a flat-brim guy I kind of would respect it yeah like sort of tilted up he's got like a like a Orioles hat dude yeah cool so I recently saw a thing that was like this is the hat that Abe Lincoln was wearing when he was assassin a fucking right and it's like damn dude shot in a top hat is tough news that's a fact and maybe maybe deserved it with that top hat on who knows dude I'm glad somebody said it yeah Abe Lincoln though probably very quite little for vessel huh yeah he's fine ugly a sin that man like okay we're gonna criticize top hat but like is any other other than like I guess like Teddy Roosevelt the Rough Riders no other president is like known for a hat imagine it was like oh and also Joe Biden loves bucket hats that's his that's his thing he has a huge bucket at collection he strolls up to a meeting with Putin and his bucket rocket is like denim bucket hat well some of the early presidents were wearing wigs yeah that's not a hat I put that as a demerit as far as hats go it's kind of like a hat yeah I'll put it as a one in the classics a wig is a bad hat I think what the classics we missing I mean we skipped a lot with fedora and the like because I feel like we're we're sort of just like lumping all of those in I have a classic but that I think is a you you don't like very much but that the classic little kid hat with a little tweedly propeller on top oh yeah I mean it's fine I've only seen one person in my life where it was you and I hated it so but I didn't have the propeller to be fair did not have a propeller yeah that's fine it's fine that seems like honestly like a hype thing a propeller hat is a hype thing what are you talking about if you took like I would not be surprised to see like a fucking guy with an oversized like Supreme Swetcher and a roller cap you're fucking insane that's for a little a little boy that wants fudge desperately holy shit dude what if he's on a dull the propeller cap freak out about the another classic dude the umbrella hat I kind of think it's sick yeah I don't that's another one you don't really encounter very often I got one sweet that to me if you want to talk about hype these dude over that that over propeller cap for sure definitely definitely it's rocking the fucking umbrella hat it's tight dude sunny day I picked it up at a goni island well bro let's talk about has through time okay we're trapped in the present pirate hat sick fucking so sweet the three cornered oh yeah a tricorner is sick I'll give you that in like a classic pirate cap fucking sweet I don't like I have a whore all things English renaissance period pieces those that's what the like a high-fashion hat with a huge feather in it I hate that shit a feather what do we say feather accessory I think it's a one right yeah it's awful but hold on is there a point at which the feather could be so big that it becomes tight I mean what you're talking about is Steve Martin and the jerk when he has the feather so big that it hangs out the side of the car and you're right that is correct if you have the feather of what could only be described as an extinct bird like a dinosaur a pterodactyl feather yeah dude that's pretty on my hat well I'll put a jewel as an accessory and I'll give it a two I think it's a little flashy sometimes a pirate cat might have like a fucking ruby in the center of my dude it might let me give you a classic that is a fucking great a stinker dude what about that dumbass little hat William Shakespeare used to wear do that little puffy joint what is let me take a Google to this dude yeah hit up a Google Shakespeare hat I don't know he's bald in every picture no no just Google Shakespeare hat dude I don't know what your hat it's like the classic Bard oh it's it's like a Robin Hood hat yeah the little puff nugget with a little dainty feather and just like the cat what about like Ebenezer Scrooge like night cat dude that is if I think kind of fresh I sort of think that's basically a Santa hat though yeah but it has such a better purpose and it's like a little bit look at me that one's like I'm trying to try to do my fucking you sleep with one of those on your head I don't know dude maybe if it was it was my tits off yeah right dude they're in like the fucking draftiest it's cold as fuck he's got nothing like in England dying fire yeah right I'm gonna layer them up and wear three of them bitches oh dude we didn't talk about come on come on we didn't talk about obviously a beret is a one who a beret what about is that any points no no I think a beret is a two dude I had to tell you because a break let me tell you something I think I can only speak myself but I've been very male focused in my thinking of this and I have to tell you sometimes them chicky babes looking a little bit great would you agree best okay but I think that war is a two come on visor a horrible hat visors like the worst part of that I'm in a hat honestly it's a demerit I think visors a fucking demerit yeah it's it's it's so stupid and like there was a moment when damn we as a nation maybe a people maybe a human nation we love divisor and I just don't know what where we went astray how we got so far from God's light that we wanted vice we wanted a topless hat you want to stupid top hats are stupid dude we'll take a whole top off convertible idiotic hold on we can't I don't want to just get in this mode we're just naming all the types of hats because we're gonna run out of steam so fucking unbelievably fast I want to talk about brims dude because we only have full brim all right and I think that's what else you got in mind for brim okay listen up and maybe you'll learn something the okay I know we're talking about it in the classics but I think it warrants here the flat brim is a two to me okay the the bent brim sure it's a two I I think um what do you I want to innovate a little here we have a full brim and we have your standard brim what about like a three-quarters brim is that anything what's a three-quarters brim I don't just saying it I don't maybe I just invented it huh see I'm thinking that I understand what that means but I was thinking about what if the brim scooped upwards like Dilbert's tie so to what to catch all the rain or something yeah dude it catches the rain filters it back into a little straw oh it's business with beans though filters it back through a little straw you slipped it right up recycles the water on the sport oh my it sounds like it was I was like sure I was gonna play along and be like yeah and then when it became a business I really want to give it one but I'll give the Dilbert the Dilbert brim two I suppose I'm gonna put my three-quarter brim idea in there you know just for I'm just not understanding what that means don't worry about it like a triangle what if it comes out you look at trying yeah I guess shapes is interesting like a duck because the classic we sort of have the classic arch and that is a good shape I think that's a three-shape I think that they went crazy with that one but I do not think we'll top that shape a triangle is interesting though don't you think yeah and especially if it's like what this is like oh dude we didn't talk about helmets it's definitely a hat dude armor like a knight's helmet kind of sick helmets are not hats impractical you just like went to class you're a college student and you just show up and you're fucking armor and you sit down and the teachers like what's the fuck is that and you're like just a college student to express yourself he's wearing a baseball cap she's wearing a big son hat why can't I wear my knight's helmet yeah let me put my I brought my full replica NFL helmet what what's the friggin big D I can't we cannot talk about helmets because then we're gonna get a bicycle helmets Knights helmets fucking hard hats dude it's too many oh hard hat does have hat right in the name though done it shit it's a hard hat fuck what do we think about a hard hat I kind of think it's a three-dude if you I think it's good for safety and if someone was so bold as just step out the house about yeah this is my fashion hard hat I think it would be kind of tight what do you think yeah it's fine I just like a sick thing about hard hats my dad works a lot of construction he had a hard hat the cool thing about hard hats you want to talk about fucking stickers baby that thing was coded my dad was sticked oh it's basically a water bottle yes sir but not one that you have to put in the dishwasher is perfect dude you were asking me where stickers I think you just fucking found out get yourself a hard hat oh on my hard hat I think that would be I think you should try it dude and wear it backwards so people know it's not like you're at work just but with that just spin around and like block my entire face no the hard hat doesn't have like a it's like a full helmet it's the shape of a hat what about Sherlock Holmes hat oh that sucks dude I hate that little dumbass thing it doesn't make any sense to me I wish we would get back to fucking triangle brim so bad it's all I can think about since we talk about let's go dude here's what made me think about armor if it was armor that would be a killer you fucking bash people dude just who have been their eyes out I know the only problem with that and the reason I would give it to is because have you ever went to smooch your darling and you're wearing a hat you accidentally smacked him in the bridge of their nose or whatever you ever do that shit I have not I've done it when you were like sitting down in a baseball game and I went for a smoochie and it blasted her right in the forehead a triangle would would kill her if that happened you know that you're popping an eye out what I do do do in my car all the time is constantly move my head around to look through a mirror and smack the brim away hat on something yeah sure of course that sucks a triangle might provide me a little bit more aerodynamics dude how fast you think I'd be in a triangle car you could make it so long to like the speed walking helmet guys or like the oh yeah fashion or cyclist guys you look like a fucking alien for a alien fire me down a fucking slip and slide I'm gonna break a speed record oh my god this guy's fucking breaking land speed records with his triangle brim you're gonna change the game like a rudder like a rock-tier I think that's an accessory and I think it's a two because of functionality what about a square brim is that anything like a big rectangle like an army cap is kind of like that army cap you know I'm saying a little army cap really I guess yeah I go Cassie what you're saying yeah army cap has sort of a square top oh is what about like a ski mask not a hat because it doesn't cover no more like a ball of clava a ball of clava yeah ball of clava dude too hot for me shit no and like you I want my lips sticking out like that every time look bro every time I see someone in a ball of clava I gotta kiss him that's the root you have to that is law and and if you don't you get into a serious trouble man I didn't a lot of times this sucks because now I got so a lot of times this time here it's playoff football and they all have these little things they pull up like these basically like extra long-term next that will go up over there knows you know so that like it keep warm man see a football player where a ball clava underneath their helmet and like put my mouthpiece in through the little lip hole it's like the funniest thing to me right now damn well what about like novelty hat remember I had that chicken hat I love my chicken hat novelty hats I'll give it a two it's fine it's fun for child I don't get a novelty hat cluttering up my damn closet what about oh you know you know I'm talking about fucking lumberjack hat dude one of those little things with the ear flappies oh those are sweet I love them because that's a great like I'm cold I'm getting a little warm let me pin it up baby I love that shit I don't want any light up stuff you see that's like a novelty hat like something that's got like a little like word sort of oh like a digital readout yeah yeah obviously I don't want any of that that's usually a belt buckle but that's terrible but what about like a dr. Seuss hat do you mean cat in the hat I do that was big at bar mitzvahs kids pop those things on all the time a cat in the hat you want stuff dangling off your hat no dangles dude I can't I can't you ever see a hat where there's dangles all around my whole phone dude wait hold on dangol is a yes and dangle is a one but what about the classic grad cap dude what do you think about that oh it's good it's good that's a square bro you got your square big square big square you know people be decorating them now that's like the hot shit is you put you've been dazzled it and you put like your pictures you tape picture your friends on it shit that's stupid I think it's a little stupid but it's kind of like a Hogwarts cap I think a grad cap is a two because it's never you get it the one time right it's like the you get or I guess two times good that's a good time that's a good time to have a hat all right throw them in the air no they're not you're supposed to throw in the air I guess not dude I don't know it seems like in the olden times people were constantly throwing their hats up in the air doesn't it like if you watch an old movie and it's like where he's a jolly good fellow and they just look at everyone throws up their hats it's like bro what do you what do you you got to go home where's your hat we could talk a lot more about vessels I think dude like the people that wear hats I I got all hipsters are a one and this is I mean like they just love hats the hipsters do and sometimes it's a dad hat which I whatever I mean that's it can be that itself can be free and the vessel can be a one they just like I don't they got to get like ironic hat like okay I don't fucking Instagram ad do you get about hats that feels like the algorithm is targeting you specifically but I because I get a lot of sports ones and I assume that's not what you're getting well I get sports ones too but I also get like I get like one that'll have like a stitched thing that says like pizza you know what I mean a lot of that shit oh yeah and like sometimes it's like if there's something I maybe would have even bought if I thought of it on my own to search for not that I'm not getting a hat with a word pizza on it but sometimes it's like don't be like a fuck or it's like a crew next lecture with a frog on it or something trendy I just that was driving crazy I know it's tough because you they do it's tough the tough thing about him is you like what exactly just said you look at them and you're like that is pretty good it's like I'm not gonna do this now that you showed it to me that made me dislike it but if I had seen that in like a little boutique somewhere it's like oh yeah I would have got that like for sure I have I have a long sleeve shirt that I bought in LA that is that exact description I saw it in a little boutique and was like this is sick and now I look at it and I'm like this could easily be an Instagram ad and I would think yeah I'm not gonna worry about mm-hmm I do still love it though so yeah that's tough I also okay I don't know where to put this this okay actually I have an idea vessel a three Mike Luciani okay Mike the bike sure Mike the bike is a three and I'll tell you why he can wear any hat he can wear a lot of different hats and he does have one of his favorite bands for a long time was Chastity Bell he has a denim bucket hat that says Chastity Bell it's about the fucking funniest thing good wear denim obviously is a one as far as well and leather is out for me as well yeah but Mike's thing for a long time Mike's dad Tom Luciani of an alien of a human being to be honest would go to the county fair by himself not with his son we go by himself and he would go to this little hat shop and he would get Mike a hat custom-made and it would say whoa any anything it would say anything like one time it's at Bobby Brown calm it would say he's basically the juda free lander for your rock trucker trucker hats I can't wear them but I know some people I'll give them to I'll give them to trucker hats another one that like if you're a hot so a trucker hat you can make work a lot and if you're not so you but okay so but what Mike is doing now is making his own hats and he like orders them so he wears this hat now that is it's a blue hat and it has a hat like cap it's just a cap yeah just a regular cap it's not a dad hat but it's not it's not like a flat brim just a regular standard cap it's blue hat and it has a picture that Mike drew on it first of all Mike does not like an artist I would say necessary it is a picture of a turtle wearing a birthday hat that is crying oh wait birthday hat very funny oh birthday hat is a three obviously very quite land I love a fucking birthday hat they hats awesome but yeah Mike is an inspiration to all of us he just gets an idea to sense is what if that was a hat and then he makes it our dream come true that's tight yeah yeah birthday hat is cool but other party hats are bad do you know what I mean like plastic new years hats you know those plastic hats are fucking horrible plastic dude we've tried a lot as a society as a human we've tried a lot of different materials for hats and I think we figured it out pretty early and and yet we saw it is better yeah and yet we persist what if leather what if plastic and you could throw it away but it'll never it'll just sit in landfill forever what about okay I think a two for maybe it's a three what about baseball players do like professional baseball players as the vessel is pretty good it's part of your fucking outfit right yeah I guess if it's like if it's part of your uni that's pretty that's not bad it's gonna be a very pretty good most like I said most of my favorite musicians wear hats that I hate yeah celebrities I think as the vessel is honestly dude I think it's a one I guess so I mean like I don't okay I like when I see a celebrity with like a baseball hat or something that's the team where they're from because I like to go oh shit you know I do like that but that's so that's not it you don't have to be bannath like about it and where I fucking you know socks had everywhere you go that's not enough to move the needle for me where like I feel like the only I feel like you get a lot of dumb musicians with Fulbright hats that's out I feel like you got a lot of guys just wearing hats they think are cool they have nothing to do with the place they're from teams they're not your defense celebrities I hate them all yeah fuck them get them out of here I think the only good ones are like celebrities that are wearing hats explicitly to avoid paparazzi and they're wearing like the most the ugliest dad cap you've ever seen the avenger in disguise uniform baseball hat with the hood over it clashing glasses big aviators yes or if you're apparently you know I okay wait actually the vessel dude I have a horrible one and I mentioned a little bit earlier people have worked out in hats like people that go for a jog in a hat get tossed how are you not dying of sweat weird weird yeah crazy behavior I was just thinking about a picture I've seen of Jeremy I like the apparently the hottest man on the earth yeah he's not far from it though is he no and but he's like working out and he's shirtless wearing baby shorts but has his big mop of hair under like a dad cap and I'm like dude you don't that doesn't feel good I know it doesn't like please stop that boy's whole vibe I don't get me started on celebrities dude oh dude get him up we got fucking Jimmy Glick coming through my number one celebrity analyst reference I guess yeah dude hell yeah what is what all the Irish people wear dude are those new z's because we might have to revisit new z's it feels like every Irish person like those I do think it's good on like the the like a Colin dude like anyone named Colin but I guess Farrell is who I'm thinking of look I think this is this is also I oh dude I think celebrities might actually have to be a two because sometimes we just said a celebrity can make a stupid fucking hat look cool like what dude like we just said Samuel L Jackson yeah Colin you have anything on Colin that okay honestly no then that's even more of a one because what they're doing there is they're giving hope to those who have none and it's like oh Colin can pull off a new z's so me too and it's like no no dude you're not calling you're not Sam Jax please put it away so I can't celebs gotta be a one because they're encouraging bad behavior as far as I'm concerned yeah I think dude I think we had it up pretty good but I can speak on a few more accessories oh wait okay I got a couple more accessories however dude what about the beer can hat dude with the straws in it come on oh incredible very quite late highly functional highly fashionable accessories I think in that vein anything with a purpose to me is at least a two like you love your little you love your little fucking headlamps which are not hats obviously that's like yeah I do a flashlight to your skull my headlamp headlamps good you're out of your fucking mind if you think you're gonna get people to agree that headlamps are out it's good dude headlamps are good you just but like you look like a dipshit I'm not gonna say don't care dude I'll see everything and look like a dipshit you and your little fucking mining hat but oh I think anything functional is a is a two for accessories like Chelsea's mom one year got us for Christmas these beanies that had bluetooth headphones in them and it was just like yeah I mean we had I've seen that which is tough stuff but I've also seen beanies that have flashlights built into the top so it's a beating with a headlamp you just like click a little button that's too much what about a little poof on top of your beating it's not for Wabu like Wabu is not the wearer of this hat but like I like it's fine you can wish other people wear it I look like a fucking moron in like a big winter snow hat yeah the the poof is a two to me for that exact reason it's a classic you look like a little dipshit unless you look and I don't know what else to tell you that's them's the berries I'm gonna think of so many fucking hat things for the next 48 hours I know I'm gonna go tell my wife's gonna say what did you talk about I'm gonna say hat she's first gonna say boy you guys are stupid oh you know what sucks fit it hats oh disagree brother I disagree because daddy has a fat nog and dummy and there's like actually few things more embarrassing than rocking like a snapback that is on that last snappy dude yeah that is like that is like into life or like waiting to bust out yeah dude or a dad cap with one of those like little with a little adjustable where there's like leftover on the loop but there's no no over dude it's just a little metal if that clasp is just fucking fighting for everything dude I came to life yeah sure so it fitted for me is actually so choice unfortunately I need it desperately I just never yeah I like to I need to adjust sometimes my head's changing size every day well and something about a hat and I find this in a lot of like um I don't know I think this is a lot of like dad caps because I used to wear just a lot of ball caps and they're all kind of the fucking same to be honest like baseball hats or baseball hats with dad caps sometimes I feel like I put one on I'm like why is this sitting so high on my head or like what what is why is this like front part so firm dude I hate when the front part is a little firm you don't talk about that front panel is sure do sure do you can't stand it's like a billboard on my head oh wait my mom my mom can't spot me these hats that she's getting it like the craft air or something like that and they have like a little patch on the front of them but the patch is only a fixed on three sides so the top is a little pocket you could put in there anything your drew goes in there jelly there it's exactly like business card shape so I think yes dude like blast a fucking like this is a bad thing I'm pulling it out of my fucking cap dude my trucker yeah hire me to cater your way yeah I'm a carnival barker dude fuck yeah I don't know what I mean I don't know what else the fucking snow that's it that's it that's it that's who we think we're gonna thank Adam Faye for the art as we always do we're gonna thank always do oh wait oh oh my god I can't believe I almost forgot dude we're gonna think that Todd who you can now hello listen to on Spotify don't even oh you said mua oh yeah and honestly it's because I'm not just saying this because he's our theme song I'm not just saying this because I miss friend I wouldn't I mean I would lie no matter what so you can't be for sure tunes are funky fucking fresh they're funky fresh dude it's good um we were camping we popped it the first time and it was great like chilling out calm down for the night popping a little glass of water highly recommend I'm gonna get the you um you tell them what's what for but I'm gonna pull up that I'm gonna pull up the like album name and stuff so people know it's not bad Todd if you can believe it I can't first I'll say shout out to Spotify user discount who slid into the Spotify DMs on the last episode and said got a little call back to my grass laundry song hell yeah cool so shout out to you discount yep which is like a pretty sweet rap name is it you know we're shouting out the great state of Illinois the great state of Ohio Florida Arizona Texas oh and just throw ask me where ask me where that's coming from in Arizona who is it is it the dirty ex dude it's the dirty ex where I'm going in like less than a week I'm coming dude yeah come yeah exactly face-up dude let's go let's party shout out to here we go now this is the band name is tomes TOMES and you can listen to their EP woven on all different you can get them on Spotify bandcamp Apple music YouTube music Apple music if you're smart about it that's what everyone says that's named wilder because you're the only one five songs on there my personal favorite I believe moonrise was my personal favorite but they're all they're all it's great chilling out back relax and cool music so people out it's sick as fun I think that's it dude so put us away from us bad don't forget that if you don't have the munch