Have I Achieved Enough?" A Lawyer's Honest Reframe on Success and Having It All | Krista Mitzel

For the 100th episode of Unconventional Wisdom About Conventional Wisdom, Kim Miller-Hershon does something fitting: she brings back her very first guest, friend and colleague Krista Mitzel of The Mitzel Group. Krista is an employment lawyer who runs a boutique firm providing advice and counsel to companies, and she's been practicing for over 25 years, the last 17 of them at the helm of her own firm. If you loved the first episode, this one expands on it, a conversation between two people who know each other well about what a year of growth, reflection, and reprioritizing has taught them.In this conversation, Krista challenges a piece of conventional wisdom pressed on women, and especially blonde, tall, outgoing women, in the legal profession: tone it down, downplay yourself, don't be "too much." Early in her career, two female partners pulled her aside not to critique her work, which was excellent, but to warn her that being attractive and gregarious "could be perceived the wrong way." She'd shown up in a sweater set, hidden nothing, and done her job, and the encounter was her first real look at the sexism baked into the industry, delivered as warning rather than mentorship. It's part of why she left that firm and vowed that when she made it, she'd never tell a woman to shrink.The heart of this milestone episode is a year of deep self-reflection. At 48, with her business grown, her boys in middle school, her mother's health declining, and friends navigating their own hard seasons, Krista has been reprioritizing where her time and energy go. She's arrived somewhere quietly radical for a self-described Type A entrepreneur: she's done enough, achieved enough, and no longer needs to be critical of herself for not achieving more. Nobody on their deathbed wishes they worked more, she says, and when Kim's old challenge ("what would happen if you 10Xed your business?") comes up, Krista recounts running the math in her head and realizing the trade, the travel and energy and time away from her kids, simply wasn't worth it. The reframe wasn't about capacity. It was about creating the life she actually wants.Krista and Kim dig into the discipline of rewriting your own story, a thread that runs through the whole hour. We solve problems from wherever our unconscious beliefs have already hardened, Kim notes, which is why it takes real mindfulness to challenge your own baseline, and Krista adds that it's scary to ask "how could I do this differently?" or "why did that client fire me?" because getting the information means confronting yourself. Both land on treating feedback as data: the packaging may be off, the person delivering it may be a pain, and there's still probably something in it for you. Krista's version of "come to the conversation with curiosity" pairs with a hard question worth asking whenever you're offended, why does this land so hard, is it because it might be true, or because you're hearing your mother in the background?She's candid about the leadership mistake it took her years to see: as an auditory processor who thinks out loud, she'd excitedly share every idea from every conference, not realizing her team heard each one as a change of plans. The fix was a deliberate system, a "parking lot" for ideas and just one or two real initiatives a quarter, because a team all rowing in the same direction gets there faster, and you can't change too many things at once for people who process differently. She's also worked to correct an overcorrection toward hands-off management, learning to be explicit about client communication and expectations without micromanaging, and to have the hard cost conversation with a client before the big invoice lands, because it's better not to do the work than not to get paid.Drawing on decades of watching companies handle their worst people problems, Krista offers the episode's most striking insight: everyone brings their childhood to work, leaders included. The reason people get sued, she argues, is that personalities collide and someone's old fear gets triggered, and she can spot a mile away who's told themselves a story that the world is out to get them. The answer isn't a one-size-fits-all management style but leading to each person's style, setting clear and fair boundaries, knowing your own gaps, and getting help (a partner or a coach) to balance them. On imposter syndrome and ambition, she's clear that constantly telling yourself you haven't done enough has nothing to do with ambition and everything to do with self-flagellation, and that the little wins, a good lunch, a kid's hug, everyone out the door without a fight, are what actually build a sense of peace.This episode explores:Why "tone it down" is a warning women get dressed up as mentorshipRefusing to tell other women to shrink themselvesHaving it all, just not all at the same time, and reprioritizing your timeDeciding you've achieved enough, and why the 10X trade wasn't worth itRewriting the stories your unconscious has already hardenedTreating feedback as data even when the packaging is offAsking why a comment offends you before reacting to itThe leadership cost of thinking out loud, and the "parking lot" fixOne or two initiatives at a time so the team rows togetherCorrecting from hands-off to appropriately involved without micromanagingHaving the hard cost conversation before the invoiceWhy everyone brings their childhood to work, leaders includedLeading to each person's style instead of forcing yoursWhy chronic "not enough" is self-flagellation, not ambitionThe little wins that build real peaceKrista's perspective is a powerful reminder that a full life comes with its stuff, that Instagram's rosy picture is never the whole story, and that most people are genuinely doing their best. Her evolution from Kim's first guest to her 100th-episode guest, more grounded, more peaceful, and more sure that she's lived a good life, shows that the bravest work a leader does is on their own story, and that being yourself was never the thing to apologize for.If you're a leader, professional, or anyone measuring yourself against a scoreboard that no longer fits, this milestone conversation offers real depth, honest talk about ambition and imposter syndrome, and a refreshing case that the little things matter more than the boxes you thought you had to check.Connect with me here:Website: https://www.kimmillerhershon.comLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kmillerhershonNewsletter: https://link.kimmillerhershon.com/widget/form/aEdmdA1W5MhoMCMfy5O8Webinar: https://webinar.kimmillerhershon.com/?utm_source=PodcastGuest Details:Guest: Krista Mitzel, Founder, The Mitzel GroupFocus: California employment law; advice and counsel for companies; boutique firm (also Kim's first-ever podcast guest, back for the 100th episode)LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristamitzel/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. 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