Have You Been Waiting for *Someone Else* To Give You The Princess Treatment?

Send Mara a quick text love note here!In this episode of Even Here, Even Now, I unpack the online debate about “bare minimum” versus “princess treatment,” and why the tender, specific care I crave, like coffee made exactly how I like it and thoughtful acts of attention, can feel both necessary and out of reach. I explore why so many of us want our partners to meet our needs without being asked... pointing to burnout (especially for oldest daughters and lifelong caregivers), romcom-driven expectations that love means mind-reading, and cultural conditioning in a capitalist, colonial, white supremacist, patriarchal overculture that teaches people, especially women and those socialized as girls, to minimize their needs to stay safe and belong. Tune in to hear my own story of being a stranger to myself, chasing self-improvement plan after self-improvement plan, and feeling resentful when others did not “handle it” for me. And, ultimately, how I came to understanding that my needs are my responsibility and I do not have to earn the care that I have ached for. Anchored in my core philosophy, even here, even now, I focus on small, doable acts of self-attunement and bespoke self-care, and I explain how the being really-really-really good at for caring for others is a transferrable skill. (Meaning, you can learn how to give it to yourself, babe!) 00:00 Bare Minimum vs. Princess Treatment: The Internet Debate03:10 Why We Crave Mind-Reading Love (and Romcom Expectations)05:29 “Your Needs Are Your Responsibility" Even if you're a Burned-Out Caregiver10:27 Cultural Conditioning, Safety, and the Belief You’re Allowed to Have Needs13:28 From Self-Abandonment to Self-Knowing: My Burnout Story19:05 You Don’t Have to Earn Care: Even Here, Even Now22:43 How to Start Giving Yourself Bespoke Care (Small Daily Choices)23:38 Invitation to My Free 90-minute Workshop, Princess Treatment, on February 27th!25:30 Closing: You Deserve This Kind of Care 💞My BEST tools, matched to exactly what you need. Take the [free] needs quiz: needsquiz.com