Healing I'm broken, I can't trust anyone, If I don't get close I can't get hurt and I'm not worthy of love

Welcome back to Healing Our Relationships. I'm Marisa, Healer & Transformation Guide. Love avoidance often gets mistaken for independence, but in truth, it's another face of codependency — a strategy to control connection and protect ourselves from pain. In this episode, I'm unpacking three core beliefs that keep love-avoidant patterns alive: I can't trust anyone, If I don't get close, I can't get hurt, and I am not worthy of love. We'll explore how these beliefs form — often from early abandonment, betrayal, or a deep mistrust of others — and how they quietly dictate the way we choose partners, keep people at arm's length, or test whether they'll chase us. I'll share why walling off isn't the safety net we think it is, but a self-imposed cage that limits intimacy, joy, and real connection. This conversation is about awareness, compassion, and the courage to take contrary action: to open the gates, to allow closeness without giving up yourself, and to risk being loved for who you truly are. You'll leave with reflection questions and practices to help you step out from behind the walls and into relationships that feel safe because you are safe inside yourself. If you are ready to stop circling the same patterns and start living differently book a Free Connection Call with me to see how a 12-week guided 1:1 journey can help you rebuild trust with yourself and step into the life of radial self-acceptance and embodied love.  Book your connection call here 📖 Want to Dive Deeper? Get The Workbook!  PRESALE IS OPEN! USE THE PROMO CODE: PODCAST  Read the Back Cover👇 A Compassionate Guide To Understanding The Patterns That Once Protected You  Whether you know the C-word, "Codependency,"and feel ready for this book, or the word itself makes you recoil from it like a hot flame, I promise this journey will surprise you, and hopefully inspire you to pass it on to a friend. Codependency is often misunderstood. It is not just people-pleasing or insecurity, it lives on a spectrum that almost everyone dances on. It shows up in the one who over-gives and the one who withdraws, in the perfectionist, the caretaker, the person who stays guarded, and the one who has spent years abandoning themselves to keep the peace. If you have ever related to others from a place of fear rather than authenticity, this book was written for you. Inspired by the author's beloved Healing Our Relationships podcast, this workbook draws from eighteen years of lived spiritual exploration. The workbook does not ask you to see yourself as broken, or to become someone better, but simply to remember and return to the authentic truth of who you already are. Through a lens of compassionate curiosity you will explore five core areas of codependent patterns, patterns many of us adapted to survive when our needs, feelings, and truth felt unsafe to express. Each area is explored through a five-step inquiry process that reveals the pattern, honors its origin, acknowledges the cost, and re-orients you towards new possibilities. Then, it brings it all into the practice of daily life. This is where the mind stops running old patterns on autopilot, the nervous system begins to heal, and you reclaim the power of choice. You are not here to judge yourself or label yourself as being codependent. You are here to honor what once protected you and to reclaim the parts of yourself that got lost along the way. If you have spent years abandoning yourself, shape-shifting for others, staying walled off or emotionally unavailable, or repeating painful relationship patterns, this is your invitation back to the most important relationship of all- the one you have with yourself. Head to https://www.healwithalchemy.com/presale use the Promo Code: PODCAST to pre-order the book at a special discount.  Follow our NEW instagram page @healingourrelationships The book and our new website will be live June First @  www.healingourrelationships.com  Work with me 1:1 or set up a free connection call @ https://www.healwithalchemy.com/coaching