Healing Your Heart from Toxic Relationships

Have toxic relationships ever drained your energy and left you questioning your worth? You're not alone. In this powerful episode, I sit down with Deborah Ashway, a licensed counselor and mental health expert, to explore the complex world of toxic partnerships and narcissistic abuse. Show Notes | Transcript "Start right away, just start documenting, start learning about it. Start trying to become a little bit more independent of that person." - Deborah Ashway Drawing from her extensive experience as a therapist and podcast host, Deborah shares invaluable insights on recognizing the subtle signs of toxicity in our relationships and taking the first steps towards healing. Discover how to: Recognize the subtle red flags of toxic relationships Use journaling as a powerful tool for clarity and self-validation Establish healthy boundaries in both personal and professional relationships Reclaim your independence and rediscover your authentic self Key insights include: The importance of listening to your body's signals and trusting your intuition How toxic individuals often foster a sense of dependency in their partners The role of self-compassion in the healing journey Why getting perspective is crucial for breaking free from manipulation Deborah also introduces us to innovative healing modalities like EMDR and expressive arts therapy, explaining how these techniques can help reprogram faulty cognitions and activate our innate healing abilities. Whether you're currently in a toxic relationship, healing from past trauma, or simply want to build healthier connections, this conversation offers practical strategies and compassionate guidance. Tune in to start your journey towards reclaiming your power and living authentically! Resources: Join the Soulful Women's Network here Receive daily inspirational email messages: bit.ly/LoveLightNotes Need support? Go to engagewithgloria.com to schedule a call. Connect with Deborah Website: innersourcetherapy.com Podcast: Healing from Toxic Abuse Connect with Live Love Engage: Send Gloria Grace a message ☕ Support the podcast ❤ Love this episode? Leave us a review and rating LinkedIn: Gloria Grace Rand Facebook: Gloria Grace Rand YouTube: Gloria Grace Rand TRANSCRIPT Namaste. Imagine breaking free from a toxic relationship to discover a version of yourself that won't be manipulated and is even stronger than before. Well, today's guest is going to be shedding light on how to heal from narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships so you can return to your truest self. But first, I do want to welcome you to Live Love Engage. If this is your first time. I am Gloria Grace, founder of Align to Shine Academy, and I work with spiritually minded women entrepreneurs to helping them to break free from self doubt so you can step into your highest potential. And joining us in just a moment is Deborah Ashway and she is a licensed counselor and owner of a mental health services practice. She is certified in EMDR and trained in expressive arts and meaning that she actually treats the root cause of most mental issues. And she also is a podcaster as well. She hosts a podcast called Healing from Toxic Abuse and which I was pleased to be a guest on. So without further ado, I'm going to bring her up here and welcome you, Deborah, officially to Live Love Engage page. Thank you. Thank you, Gloria. Thank you so much for having me and for Grace, actually and for letting me be on your show. Well, yeah, absolutely. I, you know, hey, that's, that's what we do, right? We, we like to support, to support one another and, and really especially with the messages, you know, that, that we have to share. And I think it's important to, to help people thrive, you know, to, to. Well, as I say at the end of the show, live fully, love deeply and engage authentically. And, and sometimes they need some help in doing that. And I know sometimes it might be that they are experiencing things like toxic abuse or, and, and maybe they're not sure that they are and maybe thinking that it's just a normal relationship challenge. So I thought we'd start with maybe could shed some light on what would be some like, subtle red flags that maybe people don't realize, like I think I might have experienced in my life, frankly. Yeah, I mean, there's so many. But I would start with the self. I, I would always just kind of start with your own body reactions, your own intuition. And if you think that, look into it a little bit further if you're, if you're thinking that your relationship might be toxic. I mean, start there and then, you know, go through what you're experiencing. Go, start to narrate your reality a little bit. Like, are you feeling anxious? Are you feeling depressed, are you feeling confused, Are you feeling forgetful? These kind of Are all signs that the body is experiencing something that's not in a line necessarily with your truest self? Because when we're our truest selves, we don't. We don't necessarily feel all that. The nervous system isn't as engaged, so we want to be in a state of calm. And if we're not consistently we, you know, start looking around in your environment. Yeah, that's so important because it really. Our. Our bodies are such wonderful tools that they really can help us to signal what's going on in our life if we just start paying attention to it. So it's. Yeah, I like that. And as you were talking, I'm almost started thinking about other relationships, you know, like that we have, you know, maybe friends and, and who maybe sometimes see things that we don't see. Can you talk a little bit about that? And, and because I know sometimes we, you know, we have these blinders on and maybe, you know, sometimes it goes the other way. But I think, you know, is it. How important is that to maybe really not be quick to, you know, reject what someone's trying to tell us? Yeah, true. I mean, you're going to get, you know, a variety of opinions from a variety of people, and everybody's going to come at it from their own experiences and from their own perspectives. So we want to kind of take that with a little of caution right there also. But if you're hearing from multiple people that they. That and they're asking you, are you okay? Is everything okay? Are you happy? You know, and. Or that they're seeing a difference in you and they're asking about your relationship, kind of look at that a little bit more too, because other people tend to be able to see it sometimes easier than. Than when we're in it ourselves. When we're in it, we are blind to it. You're. You're absolutely right. We can't see as clearly because it's too close to us. Plus we've been manipulated and led to believe and that this person or this friend or whoever is around us is, you know, we see. We want to see the good in them. So we start to believe that they are a good person, that they have our best in tensions at heart, whereas other people aren't quite so, I guess, you know, conditioned to see that or, or manipulated. So it's easier for them to see from an outside perspective. Just like if you were from an outside perspective looking in, you could see it much easier. So we kind of need each other. We need to, you know, you Know, kind of get some of that feedback. Yeah. And okay. Oh, yes, I know where I was gonna go. I was like, what was I going to ask? But. Because I was paying attention to your answer. But I, I think before I go any farther in, in this discussion, it might be helpful actually. I. Because I think these terms do get thrown around a lot. You know, narcissism and narcissist. And can you maybe just give some clear examples of what, what that type of behavior is like and how it does then, you know, because we're all narcissistic to a point, but, but where it starts veering into being toxic. Yeah. Okay, so. And there in Narcissistic personality disorder is a DSM diagnosis, but it has become sort of like a shorthand in, I guess, just, you know, our communication in general, just society right now lately, for somebody that is manipulative or focus focused on themselves. So I, I kind of like to use more like a broader term like anyone along the dark triad, which means they could be on that, that cluster B or personality disorder so includes a lot more than just narcissistic personality disorder. There's borderline personality disorder, there's histrionic, you know, there's sociopathic and, and, and so really all of those kind of share some components. And it kind of goes back to. There's four main things that they're looking for to support their weak sense of self or their ego. So they have a very protective ego because they have a very weak sense of self. And the four things that seem to overlap are that they need consistently either power, admiration, attention or control, some variation of those four things. And with, with narcissistic personality disorder, it seems to be more heavily geared towards the need for admiration and attention. And as you go up, you know, that, that spectrum then the sociopathic or antisocial seems to be a little bit more based in control. So just to give you an idea, I mean, we do use narcissistic, you know, or narcissist pretty loosely in today's language. But it really, truly is a disorder. And there's a, there's a lot of markers that go along with that, you know, that we do for assessments when we want to find. Find that out or look closer. Well, I appreciate that. And, and I think that is important because I know I have a, I picked up a book a while a couple years ago about, about. I forget what it's even called, but something about narcissistic relationships. And, and because I was, you know, thinking, you know, that possibly I Might have been in one. But also even realizing that, I think actually I was raised by a mother who had a lot of these tendencies. But I like that you said, you know, that....