EPISODE · Jan 12, 2026 · 53 MIN
Heart Attack Black (Ep. 32)
from Drunk By Noon · host Canadian Comedy Cartel
Is it stress, genetics, or just too much "street fighting"? 🍻In Episode 32, the survivor himself, Vance Michel, returns to the studio just two months after a major heart attack to break down what actually happened. From the six-pill-a-day lifestyle to the theory that masturbation might have actually saved his life, we’re getting into the gritty (and hilarious) details of his recovery.But the chaos doesn't stop there. We dive into Vance's recent legal trouble after beating up his "Mongolian" neighbour, the mystery of the rock thrown through his window, and why he was hesitant to call an ambulance because of the fee. 💸Finally, we pivot to some of our most unhinged theories yet: How to get the N-word pass (according to Vance’s rules), why the P. Diddy and Justin Bieber connection matters, and a deep dive into "The Odyssey" being remade with black Greeks. Plus, we debate why the future of humanity is looking very "light brown" and why redheads might be going extinct by 2030.#DrunkByNoon #VanceMichelle #HeartAttackSurvivor #MontrealComedy #Podcast #ComedyPodcast #NWordPass #Evolution #NYC #Montreal #PDiddyTimestamps:00:00 - Welcome to Season 3: Vance Michelle, the Heart Attack Survivor 02:16 - Genetics vs. Stress: Why Vance had a heart attack at 42 04:12 - Storytime: Beating up the neighbour at 1AM06:50 - Police, handcuffs, and a lucky break in court 07:45 - The rock through the window & the "Street Fighter" mentality 12:13 - The Tim Hortons incident & Quebec ambulance fees 14:40 - Ambulance Rant: Why paramedics keep asking your name 17:00 - Surgery details: Nitroglycerin and "TNT" medicine 20:50 - James Oakley & the Cardiology hookup 24:40 - Vance’s Rules: How to get the N-Word Pass27:50 - Venezuelan President kidnapping & gangster geopolitics 29:10 - P. Diddy, Justin Bieber, and the quest for the Pass 31:10 - Tracks NYC vs. Tracks MTL: Strangle me with my own chain! 32:30 - Why Redheads are going extinct by 2030 34:30 - 2050: Why everyone will look like a "Light Brown" Latina 36:30 - Anti-semitism in South America & the new President of Mexico 38:50 - Russell Crowe as a fat Herman Goring in "Nuremberg" 40:30 - Remaking The Odyssey: Why are the Greeks black now? 41:40 - Cutting the line at the Parthenon43:20 - Arch Nemesis: Meeting "Delusional" and making peace 45:45 - The fall of Fat Farm & Baby Phat fashion51:30 - Mic-throating and chest hair on the stage 53:05 - Plugs: World’s Smallest Comedy Night & Rapid Flames Podcast
What this episode covers
Is it stress, genetics, or just too much "street fighting"? 🍻In Episode 32, the survivor himself, Vance Michel, returns to the studio just two months after a major heart attack to break down what actually happened. From the six-pill-a-day lifestyle to the theory that masturbation might have actually saved his life, we’re getting into the gritty (and hilarious) details of his recovery.But the chaos doesn't stop there. We dive into Vance's recent legal trouble after beating up his "Mongolian" neighbour, the mystery of the rock thrown through his window, and why he was hesitant to call an ambulance because of the fee. 💸Finally, we pivot to some of our most unhinged theories yet: How to get the N-word pass (according to Vance’s rules), why the P. Diddy and Justin Bieber connection matters, and a deep dive into "The Odyssey" being remade with black Greeks. Plus, we debate why the future of humanity is looking very "light brown" and why redheads might be going extinct by 2030.#DrunkByNoon #VanceMichelle #HeartAttackSurvivor #MontrealComedy #Podcast #ComedyPodcast #NWordPass #Evolution #NYC #Montreal #PDiddyTimestamps:00:00 - Welcome to Season 3: Vance Michelle, the Heart Attack Survivor 02:16 - Genetics vs. Stress: Why Vance had a heart attack at 42 04:12 - Storytime: Beating up the neighbour at 1AM06:50 - Police, handcuffs, and a lucky break in court 07:45 - The rock through the window & the "Street Fighter" mentality 12:13 - The Tim Hortons incident & Quebec ambulance fees 14:40 - Ambulance Rant: Why paramedics keep asking your name 17:00 - Surgery details: Nitroglycerin and "TNT" medicine 20:50 - James Oakley & the Cardiology hookup 24:40 - Vance’s Rules: How to get the N-Word Pass27:50 - Venezuelan President kidnapping & gangster geopolitics 29:10 - P. Diddy, Justin Bieber, and the quest for the Pass 31:10 - Tracks NYC vs. Tracks MTL: Strangle me with my own chain! 32:30 - Why Redheads are going extinct by 2030 34:30 - 2050: Why everyone will look like a "Light Brown" Latina 36:30 - Anti-semitism in South America & the new President of Mexico 38:50 - Russell Crowe as a fat Herman Goring in "Nuremberg" 40:30 - Remaking The Odyssey: Why are the Greeks black now? 41:40 - Cutting the line at the Parthenon43:20 - Arch Nemesis: Meeting "Delusional" and making peace 45:45 - The fall of Fat Farm & Baby Phat fashion51:30 - Mic-throating and chest hair on the stage 53:05 - Plugs: World’s Smallest Comedy Night & Rapid Flames Podcast
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Heart Attack Black (Ep. 32)
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