Drunk By Noon

Coming back in July folks; follow us on Spotify if you haven't already.Instagram: canadiancomedycartelFacebook: The Canadian Comedy CartelYoutube: Drunk By NoonTiktok: drunkbynoonpodSee y'all in July.

Welcome back to Drunk By Noon!In this milestone Episode 50, we’re joined by friend of the pod, George, for a chaotic deep dive into everything from secret PMC startups and AI drone training to post traumatic JFL disorder. We're all tier one operator F1 billionaires and we kill at Wendy's after our moms drop us off except for Peter whose mom threw him into a wood chipper at age six so he took the bus. Homeless people want to be friends with us.In this episode, we cover:The JFL Conspiracy: Our hot takes on the Jerry Seinfeld headlining announcement and why Montreal bookers might be looking for a protest.The Hand Reveal: A 5-year-long mystery finally comes to light—we discuss Peter’s "character" and God’s blind spot.Military Dreams & Regrets: Why we all wish we joined the reserves at 18 for that sweet pension and the reality of Nigerian roommates in winter survival training.The Philosophy of Porn: A high-level comedic analysis of search histories, Teletubbies, and why some content is "straighter" than you think.Childhood Pranks & Psychosis: Hallucinating cyclopses in a synagogue and the time Samson scared a random kid at camp for his own personal thrill.Whether we're talking about the "Garlic Kings of Comedy" or the "Lebanese Weight Watchers," this episode is packed with the kind of unfiltered stories that only happen after a few drinks.Follow the Guest: Check out George Assily on the Lebanese Weight Watchers podcast and catch him live at the Garlic Kings of Comedy.Subscribe to Drunk By Noon for more weekly chaos, comedy, and questionable life choices.Timestamps:00:00 – Episode 50 Kickoff: Friend of the Pod, George!00:17 – Debating "The List" & The Big Jay Epstein Files02:02 – Pre-Show Rituals: Green Room Chaos & The Guardian Interview04:00 – Classic Gaming Nostalgia: Call of Duty & Medal of Honour Rants05:54 – SS Soldier Cosplay06:38 – What is an F1 Billionaire? Tier Three Operator Talk07:09 – Jerry Seinfeld at JFL08:20 – Hot Takes on JFL Booking & The Montreal Latino Population12:13 – George’s Secret Career: Life as a Military Startup Contractor13:14 – THE HAND REVEAL: A 5-Year Mystery Finally Explained15:08 – God’s Blind Spot17:08 – Wendy’s Breakthroughs18:32 – Psychotic Breaks & The Orthodox Jews21:12 – Explaining Middle Eastern Affairs23:18 – The Katt Williams Impression Marathon27:26 – Lebanese Weight Watchers30:30 – Corporate Comedy Disasters34:08 – The "Philosophy" of Corn: Teletubby Gbangs?39:52 – George Floyd’s Secret Film Career? (Floyd the Landlord)42:20 – Discord Billions: How George Got a Job via Discord46:02 – Military Regrets: Why We Should Have Joined at 1850:12 – The Science of Pranks: The 4 AM Devil Mask Incident52:51 – Plugs: Lebanese Weight Watchers & Garlic Kings of Comedy#DrunkByNoon #ComedyPodcast #JFL #JustForLaughs #MilitaryHumour #MontrealComedy #PodcastLife #Episode50

Is the world collectively hallucinating, or is it just another episode of Drunk By Noon? 🍻In Episode 49, we’re diving deep into the weirdest corners of modern reality. We kick things off with the news of Trump and Joe Rogan discussing the potential legalization of psychedelics. Will mushrooms actually become the new frontier for medical research, or are we just risking a collective case of schizophrenia? We debate the "modern-day wizard" look and whether conventional rehab paths are still the way to go.Things get even more surreal as we explore the "insider trading" of reality on Poly Market, the mystery of the first evolved eyeball 👁️, and a theory that God might just be a very small fish at the bottom of the ocean. 🐟Finally, we take a trip (metaphorically) to New York City to figure out why it’s a magnet for both the ultra-rich and the "abjectly poor," before ranting about the true villains of Montreal: incompetent leasing agents.Topics covered in this episode:The legalization of psychedelics & mushroom companies.Trump, Joe Rogan, and the "fast track" for drug research.Poly Market, betting on reality, and market manipulation.Evolution: Did meat or mushrooms make us human?The mystery of the first eyeball and God-as-a-fish theories.Why New York City feels like it’s on the brink of destruction.The nightmare of Montreal rental applications and drunk leasing agents.Timestamps:00:00 - Welcome to Episode00:57 - Trump & Joe Rogan’s Psychedelic Legalization Laws02:11 - Conventional Rehab vs. The "Modern-Day Wizard" Look 03:54 - Jordan Peterson, Matt Dillahunty, and Nicotine Cures05:05 - Why you shouldn't do Mushrooms with your Therapist 06:26 - Stoned Ape Theory: Did Monkeys Evolve on Mushrooms? 07:46 - Brain Development: The Real Reason Humans Cook Meat 08:06 - Evolution Mystery: Where did the first Eyeball come from? 11:07 - Betting on Reality with Poly Market 12:28 - Insider Trading & Trump’s influence on the Market 15:58 - Trump’s comedic tweets & "The End is Near" 18:20 - Montreal Legend: The "Hollywood" Homeless Guy 20:56 - Why NYC feels like it’s on the brink of destruction 22:40 - The Magnetism of Poverty vs. Success in New York25:52 - Is New York actually crazier than other cities? 27:50 - The "Logic" of being homeless in a warm climate 29:43 - Navigating the system: Comfort in the cesspool 32:04 - Rant: The nightmare of Montreal Rental ApplicationsDon't forget to follow us to join the noon-time chaos!

The guys return for an episode fuelled by Tinder fails, botched dental work, and international fugitives. Pecker attempts to coach the crew through a Persian Tinder match, while the table discusses why Brazil is the ultimate destination for global hide-and-seek. The highlight of the episode comes when the group finally notices a physical detail about Peter that has been right in front of them for an entire year. From Rodrigo Duterte’s wild presidency in the Philippines to the chemistry of extracting gold from electronics in India, this episode covers the high-brow and the low-brow with equal irreverence. Timestamps:00:00 - The Gym & Hidden History02:15 - Tinder Advice04:05 - The 500km Dating Distance Problem05:10 - The "Not Sponsored" Instagram Nose Strip Review06:00 - Dental Dramas & Doctor Mentors08:20 - The Big Reveal: Addressing Peter's Hand11:10 - Family Secrets & "Mind Your Business" 13:40 - Survival Stories: The Combine Harvester Incident18:40 - The "Useless Wizard" & Pickle Ball 23:15 - Fred Durst & The Worst Movie Ever Made 27:40 - Philippine Bounty Hunters & Global NewsIf you enjoyed the chaos, make sure to Subscribe and hit the bell icon!Follow the podcast: Instagram: @canadiancomedycartelFacebook: The Canadian Comedy CartelIn this episode:The Dating Game: "Rooftop adventures" and Tinder hookers. Health & Beauty: Why nasal strips fall off if you have a personality. Medical Horror: Mentors who cover for their friends' botched surgeries. The Big Reveal: Peter's three-fingered hand and his father's "mind your business" parenting style. Cinema Corner: Defending 'House of a 1000 Corpses' and roasting Fred Durst’s directorial debut. Global Economics: 24% interest rates in Iran and why everyone is buying gold.

Welcome back to Episode 47 of the Drunk By Noon podcast! This week, the guys are joined by the return of the hilarious Saba Jakeman.In this episode, Saba pulls back the curtain on her side hustle as a "professional catfisher" (aka an OF manager). She breaks down the bizarre world of dealing with 60-year-old clients, and the specific phrase that almost got her fired.We also dive deep into a chaotic mix of topics including:✅ Politics & Predictions: Why Donald Trump might announce a war while standing next to the Easter Bunny.✅ Media & History: The 1980s bill that killed honest journalism and why TLC turned into a "medical freakshow" channel.✅ Survival Lore: The weird science of "Rabbit Starvation" and the dangers of withdrawal.✅ Montreal Stories: Growing up in Dorval, racial ambiguity, and a legendary moment at the Comedy Nest.Support the Guest:Catch Saba Jakeman at the Detroit Women of Comedy Festival on May 16th!Follow the Show:🔔 Subscribe for more unfiltered conversations and local Montreal comedy chaos.#DrunkByNoon #MontrealComedy #Podcast #StandUpComedy #Trump #JFL #ComedyNestTimestamps:00:00 – Intro & Welcome back Saba Jakeman00:45 – The "Online Pimping" Job: Professional Catfishing01:30 – Getting in trouble with the boss: The "Jewish" incident05:15 – Politics, Polymarket, and Trump’s Easter Bunny08:40 – The Fairness Doctrine: Why the media is broken12:20 – Rabbit Starvation & Benzo vs. Heroin withdrawal18:10 – Immigration stories: Getting arrested for saying "Canada"24:35 – Racial ambiguity in Dorval & South Asian prejudices31:37 – "Days Since a Comic Got N*ked": The David Incident at Comedy Nest32:30 – Saba’s Plugs: JFL Showcase & Detroit Comedy Festival

Welcome back to another episode of Drunk By Noon! In Episode 46, we’re joined by Montreal’s own rising comedy star and 2025 JFL New Face, Tom Murphy.In this episode, Tom opens up about his journey in the Montreal comedy scene, his upcoming move to Austin, Texas, and the whirlwind process of getting married and immigrating. We dive into the realities of American representation for comedians, what it’s actually like performing at legendary spots like Gotham Comedy Club, and the differences between the Canadian and US comedy circuits.He also share his thoughts on the "hacky" labels in comedy, and why he's striking while the iron is hot. Whether you're a fan of stand-up comedy or just love a good, unfiltered conversation, this episode has it all.Follow Tom Murphy:Instagram: @tomdlmurphyCheck out his new open mic at Ye Olde Orchard on Monkland on 9pm Sundays.Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe to Drunk By Noon for more episodes.Timestamps:00:00 - Introduction: Welcome Tom Murphy00:54 - The Solo Podcast Struggle & Lighting Woes01:23 - Wedding Bells & A Low-Key Proposal04:47 - Immigration Realities: Moving to Texas06:03 - Movie Talk: John Travolta & The Microchip 06:45 - Why the Rush to Get Married?08:34 - Planning a Non-Religious Wedding in Quebec09:22 - The Legend of Dean Himself10:56 - Why Austin, Texas? (90 Day Fiancé Vibes)11:59 - The "Arrest Dreams" & Missing Jail on Tuesdays14:10 - 27 Counts of Prison Escape?!15:43 - Life Inside: Parole Officers & Mental Health17:34 - Tom Murphy’s JFL New Faces Experience19:32 - The Truth About Management vs. Agents22:11 - Performing at Gotham Comedy Club & Sesh Comedy23:58 - The Best Comics You’ve Never Heard Of25:56 - The Decision to Move: Steam in Montreal vs. Starting Over27:58 - Striking While the Iron is Hot29:11 - Nick Mullen, Adam Friedland, & The Cum Town Legacy30:52 - The Stavros Halkias Hurley’s Story32:12 - Who is Black Leopard?33:00 - Finding Loopholes: Character Comedy & Recovery Lines34:09 - The Austin Plan: Kill Tony & Remote Work36:06 - Reviewing the Infamous Kill Tony Montreal Clips41:51 - Outro: Where to find Tom Murphy

This week on Drunk By Noon, the chaos reaches new heights. We dive deep into the Derek Chauvin prison stabbing and pension drama, the absolute absurdity of the "Manosphere" and Louis Theroux's latest documentary, and why the "Red Pill" community is actually living in a contradiction.From the bizarre conspiracy of Nordic alien hybrids to the questionable logic of growing tomatoes on Mars instead of cocaine in Montreal—nothing is off limits. Plus, Michael recounts his experience self-excluding from the casino (and the AI facial recognition that comes with it).Timestamps:0:00 – Peter’s Mint Conspiracy & The Fentanyl Theory1:12 – Prison Hierarchy: Derek Chauvin’s 2035 Release Date3:43 – The Cowboy Comedian5:11 – Louis Theroux vs. The Manosphere: Insecure Influencers7:20 – The Red Pill Contradiction: Trans Creators & The Matrix11:53 – Is it Illegal to Fake Autism?13:00 – Nordic Aliens & The "Human-Alien Hybrid" Conspiracy15:33 – JD Vance, Demons & The CERN Portal Theory18:21 – Sneako’s Rebrand & Selling Your Soul for 13-Year-Old Fans22:15 – The "Lighthouse" Focal Point & The Deli Waiter Story24:45 – Freeing the Genie vs. The Will Smith Aladdin Bomb27:52 – The Nazis’ Anti-Smoking Campaign30:25 – CERN, Black Holes & Anti-Matter Spaceships31:34 – Why can't we grow Cocaine in Montreal?35:12 – The Area 51 Simulation & Vince Vaughn Movies41:12 – Mike Self-Excludes from the Casino: AI Facial Recognition44:06 – How do you pitch r*** aliens for your country?

In this episode of the Drunk By Noon podcast, we are joined by Montreal's rising open mic comedy star, Jon Allen! Jon breaks down the unbelievable story of how a friend paid him a cool $1,000 just to do his very first stand-up set—and why that might end up being the financial peak of his comedy career.We also get into his agonizing ride through a brutal gallbladder attack that struck after eating an entire Domino's pizza, what it’s like being pumped full of hospital drugs, and the hilarious reality of airport security, working at a milk factory and when the last time the Colts won the Superbowl.Follow us on Instagram:@canadiancomedycartelCome see us live: comedycartel.caTimestamps:00:00 – Does Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Oz actually hold up?01:30 – Jon Allen’s Gallbladder surgery03:05 – Introducing Montreal’s rising comedy star Jon Allen04:00 – The Domino’s Pizza Gallbladder attack06:25 – Hospital Highs: Fentanyl, Morphine, and Surgeon stories08:40 – Why Jon hasn't showered in a full week10:45 – The "Microplastics & Intermittent Fasting" lifestyle12:40 – How to get paid $1,000 for your first-ever comedy set15:00 – Weird Airport Security: The fake Superman & Batman16:45 – Attempted kidnappings and bizarre customs incidents19:15 – Smuggling animals: Ants, turtles, and wooden statues20:25 – Invasive species: Asian Lady Beetles & toxic vines22:10 – Atlantic City: Boardwalk luxury vs. Hard Ghetto23:30 – Why Jon Allen hates Toronto24:05 – Working at the Lactalis Milk Factory (The Lactantia truth)26:20 – "Milking" the clock on warehouse night shifts29:00 – The most bizarre surgery story from Ontario33:25 – Getting paid a lump sum of cash on stage34:20 – The reality of Just For Laughs (JFL) auditions37:45 – The Corey Holcomb & Christina Payne controversy43:40 – Outro/Plugs

What happens when you mix magic mushrooms, a double-decker Toronto tour bus, and a hijacked cameraman? Peak West Island Cinema.In Episode 43, we're joined by Kevin Campbell to break down the wild backstory behind the cult classic docuseries Pussy Patrol. We're also diving into the conspiracy behind the Just For Laughs showcases, Pecker's heroism when faced with genderfluid people in jorts, something about Samson and buses, and because it's us, we obviously debate the attractiveness of Lola Bunny from Space Jam.Timestamps:00:00 - The JFL Audition Tape Conspiracy03:54 - Pecker vs. Genderfluid Jorts08:53 - How to Use a Belt in a Street Fight11:02 - The Massive Bar Fredmir Brawl13:15 - The Origins of Montreal's Cult Classic "Pussy Patrol"19:04 - Taking Shrooms on a Toronto Sightseeing Bus19:39 - Hijacking a Cameraman (Gone Wrong)23:30 - Cops React to a "Porn Addiction" Extortion Letter28:12 - "Shitty Cuisine" & Unhinged Comedy Shows30:07 - Prank Calling Massage Parlors & The Space Jam Debate38:12 - Tradesmen Asking for Opioids on the Line39:47 - Plugs: Kevin's Show & Where to Watch Pussy PatrolFollow Kevin on Instagram: @kevin_groovyguyWatch Pussy Patrol on the Global Imperial YouTube Channel  @globalimperial  Follow Canadian Comedy Cartel for the best clips and stand-up bits on instagram or visit our site for live stand-up shows:https://comedycartel.ca/@canadiancomedycartel on Instagram.

Welcome back to Drunk By Noon, Episode 42! In this episode, the crew is joined by guest Jonathan Burrello, creator of the comic series Big Insane Happy, to discuss the grind of self-publishing graphic novels and building a weird creative "ecosystem".We dive deep into why Jonathan prefers local printing over Amazon KDP, the bizarre "Wolf of Vending Machines" story, and the legendary tale of hiring a college paper writer who lived in a room filled with static TVs and raw pasta. Plus, we get into 90s nostalgia with "Little Homies," the return of Chris Hansen, and the terrifying reality of Temu capsule houses.Follow Jonathan Burrello (Big Insane Happy):Instagram/Socials: @biginsanehappyLatest Book: Monsters Paradise Timestamps:00:00 – Welcome back to Drunk By Noon Episode 42 02:02 – The Pickleball Coach scandal 03:20 – Jonathan’s book "Recently Single" & Monsters Paradise 05:35 – The high cost of local printing vs. Amazon KDP 07:45 – Creating a comic "ecosystem" & four-panel gag strips09:31 – Turning down money for fan-made stuffed animals10:43 – The "Wolf of Vending Machines" legend 11:16 – 90s "Little Homies" figurines & grocery store nostalgia 14:02 – Hiring a guy with raw pasta on his bed to write a Watchmen paper 15:57 – Big Spoon vs. Little Spoon & the Scary Movie franchise 17:35 – The Chucky TV show & Gen Z updates 19:15 – Creepy dolls, baby Kaijus, and The Suckling 21:07 – Killer Klowns from Outer Space & Death Race 2000 25:44 – Chris Hansen’s new "Gen Z" lingo 28:23 – Clint Eastwood’s 93-year-old grind & Acorn stairlifts 32:03 – Temu capsule houses & $500 dirt bikes 34:22 – The Oscars & Marty Supreme 35:09 – Where to follow "Big Insane Happy"

Is it a scam if it’s legal? Today we're joined by Montreal's own JFL comic Jason Houle to discuss starting a comedy career out of pure spite. We also take a deep dive into Jason’s unique upbringing in a single-dad household, his father's passion for photography, the Future Shop refund scam, billionaire creeps, signing slurs and the terrifying reality of modern drone warfare.In this episode, we discuss:The "technical" truth behind Jason's Just For Laughs (JFL) credit .How to return anything in Quebec after 29 days of use .The disturbing history of the Future Shop founder .Why drone warfare in Ukraine looks like a sci-fi spiderweb.The social friction of McDonald's kiosks vs. the distancing of modern murderTimestamps00:00 – Welcome Jason Houle: The "JFL Guy"01:30 – First Impressions: Insane at Barfly vs. Comedy Pillar04:27 – Jason’s Dad: Minority Photography & Small Town Ontario05:56 – The Quadruple Bypass & The Burrito Diet07:32 – Growing up in a Single-Dad "Boy Zone"12:30 – The Future Shop "Refund Scam" Legend13:46 – The Dark Side of Future Shop: Robert Miller15:57 – Mexico Trip: The Passport Panic20:12 – Sign Language Slurs & Hateful Caricatures23:18 – Samson’s Scissor Lift Near-Death Experience28:12 – The Mystery of the Disappeared DHL Founder31:35 – The Six-Week AC Rental Hack34:44 – Jack Ma, Chinese Billionaires, & House Arrest38:12 – Drone Warfare: Fiber Optics & Spiderweb Towns40:44 – Gamification of War: Xbox Controllers & Pilot PTSD43:05 – The Social Friction of McDonald’s Kiosks44:26 – Learning French & "Dunking on Immigrants"

In Episode 40 of the Drunk By Noon Podcast, the crew sits down with the man, the myth, and the viral TikTok legend from seven years ago: HashThe1. Introduced as the "funniest man under five feet in the province," Hash opens up about his recent transition from internet sensation to the world of professional wrestling.We dive deep into the chaotic world of independent wrestling, discussing the difference between a wrestler and a manager (think Paul Bearer energy), the dangers of "going off-script" in the ring, and the tragic true stories of wrestling moves gone wrong. Whether he's being recognized as the "King of Saint Laurent" or getting freebies on the street, hashthe1 remains one of the most unique voices in the scene.00:00 - Introduction of guest Hashthe105:51 - The brutality of wrestling, including the "Mass Transit" incident.10:50 - Reacting to a video of a wrestling move gone wrong that resulted in a tragic injury.12:18 - Hash’s fitness routine at Tristar Gym16:23 - The "Boxed Water" debate: Microplastics part 23121:08 - Hash shares a candid health update 22:32 - The "End of Life" plan: Hash discusses his bucket list.31:02 - The origin story of the name "HashThe1" and his history with rap groups.32:52 - Crazy Cameo stories*** CORRECTION *** Hasher's next IWS wrestling show is March 21st NOT 31st.

In this episode of Drunk by Noon, we sit down with local Montreal comedy legend Richard Mullen. With 20 years in the game, Richard has performed everywhere in Canada from the auditorium of a hospital in Iqaluit to military crowds in Pembroke, OntarioRichard opens up about his incredible medical journey: living with Type 1 diabetes, surviving a world-first double transplant, and even suffering a heart attack while performing on stage. He also takes us back to his days as a baseball pitcher in the minors, where he struck out Ken Griffey Jr.Whether discussing his "professional patient" status or a near-death experience where he died for three minutes, Richard’s dark humour and optimism are unmatched.Timestamps:00:00 - Introduction: Montreal Legend Richard Mullen 00:31 - Comedy in the North: Performing in an Iqaluit Hospital 03:40 - Favourite Gigs: Pembroke and Military Crowds 04:56 - The Trouble with Sound Guys 07:30 - The Most Epic Heckler: The Front Row Special10:00 - How Diabetes Led to a Comedy Career 11:10 - Medical Miracle: The First Double Transplant Survival 15:51 - Turning Medication Side Effects into Material 20:58 - Pro Baseball: Playing for the Minors & Striking Out Ken Griffey Jr. 22:55 - Having a Heart Attack While Performing On Stage 26:08 - "Rebuilt Intestines" and Dealing with Doctors 31:53 - Staying Optimistic After Beating Death 33:56 - Near-Death Experience: "I Died for Three Minutes" 37:30 - New Open Mic: "Bangers and Bombers" at Duffy's

Returning crowd favourite Dean Bertoia joins the boys to discuss his social media hiatus, the Harry Potter series, why he's seasonally unemployed and the tragic reason he’ll never play pickleball again.From the graphic newspapers of Cancun to the Siberian "waterboarding" cure that saved Peker's life as a baby, the boys are back with some of their wildest stories yet. We dive deep into why cartel members only make $600 a week, the logistics of inheriting a "family dwarf" and the slow-burn heartbreak of losing a girl to a professional pickleball coach.Timestamps:00:00 – Dean is back & seasonally unemployed05:10 – The graphic reality of Cancun newspapers08:45 – The $600/week Cartel salary15:20 – The "Family Midget" & Home Depot pranks22:15 – Pecker's Russian origin: The doctor’s grim diagnosis25:30 – The Siberian Witch Doctor & the "Waterboarding" cure30:10 – The Pickleball Saga: A Clockwork Black35:45 – Connecting the dots: Why Dean is hot and single40:22 – Hooking birds and squirrel stories41:11 – Outro: Dating applications for Dean

Comedian Jacob Silva joins the podcast this week to air out some major grievances and share insane stories from the road. From opening for Mark Normand and Rich Vos and the mystery of the missing shoes to chilling with Dan Soder Jacob holds nothing back.We dive into the differences between the Montreal and Toronto comedy scenes, his time managing a vape store, and why he decided to move back home. Plus Jacob tells the legendary story of the "nightmare roommate" that ended with a hilarious act of revenge involving a bong.In This Episode:The Mark Normand Incident: Jacob explains why he has beef with Mark Normand, detailing a trip to Buffalo involving $1,000 worth of edibles and some uncomfortable car moments .Rich Vos & Dan Soder: Stories about opening for Rich Vos (and getting his hotel key) vs. the chill experience of driving Dan Soder .Toronto vs. Montreal: Why Jacob moved back to Montreal after 6 years and his "stagnant" career in Toronto .Vape Store Chronicles: Dealing with customers asking which vape is best for smoking crack .The Roommate From Hell: The story of "Rob," the roommate who stole $30,000 in rent, and how Jacob got revenge .Timestamps:0:00 - Glenn Foster Again3:46 - Jacob Silva Intro5:12 - Vape Store Horror Stories9:26 - Comedy School at Humber & Second City13:00 - Opening for Rich Vos & The "Dirty Shoes"16:07 - The Mark Normand Saga: Edibles at the Border21:33 - Dan Soder is the Chillest Comic27:32 - Calling Steve Hofstetter32:53 - The "Genocide Joke" Incident41:22 - NIGHTMARE Roommate Story: Fk Rob Mailloux44:19 - Yucks & Mark Breslin49:33 - Dating Life52:44 - We Love Ian Fidance

This week, we are joined by AC Valiente, a professional competitive eater and stand-up comic. We discuss:How to survive a 7lb deli sandwich challenge.The difference between "eating for fun" and "eating for sport."Getting recognized by competitive eating legend Randy Santel.Best Pizza in Montreal: Vincent Submarine vs. The Chains.A heated debate on Nicolas Cage’s best movies.Why honey badgers are the most terrifying animals on earth.Check out AC's channel "Otaku Eats" on YouTube!

Montreal comedian Will J. Flynn joins the Drunk By Noon podcast for an episode full of near-death experiences and comedy gold. Will shares how he survived two heart attacks, fought off skin cancer, and transitioned from a warehouse quitter to a decade-long staple of the Montreal comedy scene. We cover everything from the chaos of foster parenting to the unhinged school systems of the 1970s.Timestamps:0:00 – Quitting a warehouse job in 2 hours 2:12 – Introducing Montreal Comedian Will J. Flynn 2:45 – The back-to-back heart attack survival story 4:15 – Health Talk: Cialis, circulation, and prostate health 7:23 – The truth about Smoking vs. Vaping & Asbestos 10:45 – How a leg shave saved Will from Skin Cancer 12:37 – Unhinged teacher stories: The "Shaking Judy" band 16:18 – Getting into stand-up comedy as a Father’s Day gift 16:55 – Wild Montreal Swinger Club stories 19:35 – Growing up in the 70s: Strict teachers & school discipline 24:50 – Foster parenting & the FBI kidnapping story 26:05 – Fertility struggles and adopting his son

**Attention the audio goes out of sync at certain parts of this episode (no I will not fix it) and for this reason we recommend just listening to the episode**What is it like to be born into a cult in Mexico, move to Taiwan as a child missionary, and eventually land in a French-immersion school in Quebec? This week, Montreal comedian Eman Belanger joins the Drunk by Noon podcast to share one of the most unbelievable life stories we’ve ever heard.Iman breaks down his upbringing within a cult, the cultural whiplash of moving between three continents, and how he transitioned from a high-control religious environment to the Montreal stand-up comedy scene.In this episode, we discuss:The Cult Origin Story: Growing up in an American fundamentalist group in the Mexican Yucatan.Missionary Life in Taiwan: Spreading the word as a child and the "spicy chicken" memories.Cultural Whiplash: The shock of moving from Taiwan to Sherbrooke, Quebec.Health & Scandals: Why the WHO says cold cuts are the new cigarettes and the truth about the McDonald’s Monopoly "scam."Legal Traps: The terrifying reality of Disney+ legal waivers and the fine print we all ignore.Comedy: Finding humor in the dark moments and starting a career in the Montreal open mic scene.Timestamps:00:00 - Welcome back to Drunk By Noon Episode 34! 00:22 - Meeting Eman Belanger: The mystery of the "Eman" name 01:12 - Cultural Whiplash: Living in Taiwan as a kid 01:41 - Mexican Catholicism, Santeria, and "Evil Dead" vibes 02:35 - Weird History: The Nazis and Norse mysticism 03:19 - Dropping the Bomb: Growing up in an American cult in Mexico 05:54 - Fast Food in Asia: KFC Japan vs. 21st Century Chicken 07:42 - Meeting his biological father: A weirdly emotional encounter 09:18 - The Yucatan: Why cartel bosses hide their families there 10:20 - Moving to Quebec: The nightmare of French Immersion 12:50 - Horror Movie Vibes: "Orphan" and Jason Bourne damages 16:30 - Health Alert: Cold cuts are the new cigarettes? 18:40 - The McDonald’s Monopoly Scam & App Terms of Service 20:49 - Disney Plus vs. Lawsuits: Waving your rights for a login21:28 - Calling the CEO of Rebel News for $25 23:48 - Moving to Montreal to start Stand-Up Comedy 24:49 - Deep Dive: The reality of living in a fundamentalist cult 28:30 - Making tragedy funny: The struggle of "Cult Comedy" 31:21 - Flirty Fishing: The bizarre tactics of cult "outreach" 31:55 - Child Marriage Laws in Iraq and the Middle East 34:10 - Escaping at 21: How he finally got out 35:54 - Christian Light Education: Outsourcing school to Mennonites38:40 - Life in the "Home": The militarized structure of a cult cell 40:53 - Harrison Ford: The legendary pilot who doesn't give a f*** 42:25 - The YouTube "Narcissist" trend & arm-chair psychology 44:30 - Rumspringa: Why 99% of people actually go back47:00 - The Fall of the Founder: Paranoia, millions, and the end of an era 49:02 - Socials & Outro: Where to find Eman BelangerWhether you're interested in cult deconstruction, international travel stories, or the behind-the-scenes life of a Montreal comedian, this episode is a deep dive into a truly unique perspective.

In this episode, we dive into Radu’s journey through comedy school (Joke Club), his short-lived brown t-shirt business, and why he prefers the bus over driving in Montreal. We also share some of our most unhinged travel stories, including a narco-run bar in Costa Rica and a very sketchy trip to Mexico that involves a "bottle of water" and a whole lot of blow.Whether we're debating the murder rates of St. Louis vs. Rwanda or reading through the most unhinged Google reviews of sex stores in the Gay Village, this episode is a classic Drunk By Noon descent into madness.Video Timestamps00:00 - Finishing a 20-page book & Ancestry talk 01:22 - The regional history of slavery & Koreans03:00 - Microplastics & the mercury filling conspiracy04:51 - Dilbert, brain tumors, and autistic dentistry 08:02 - Selling MindGeek subscriptions to the Middle East 10:25 - Official Intro: Welcome back Radu Sona 11:12 - Psoriasis vs. Fungal Infections: The Shea Butter cure 12:51 - Lost in the Montreal Hospital: A potential lawsuit 14:15 - The Montreal Comedy Scene: Joke Club & Grad shows 15:52 - Pointers from Rodney: Trimming the "tight five" 17:55 - Quitting smoking & Reddit milestone trolling 19:50 - Montreal Bus Life vs. Downtown Parking 22:40 - Jeffrey Toobin, Anthony Weiner, and "Butterfingers" 23:36 - The Four-Finger Technique: A Bernie Sanders Guide to Escorts28:00 - Booking at the Comedy Nest: Bombing on the phone with Peter 29:38 - Romanian Orthodox Christmas & St. Joseph’s Oratory 33:00 - Investigating sex stores in Montreal's Village 35:56 - Reading unhinged 1-star Google reviews 40:48 - The "Gooner" Memorial in the Starbucks parking lot 41:48 - North America is Cooked: India vs. Street Poo42:15 - Brad Pitt, St. Louis murder rates, and Rwandan safety 46:12 - Costa Rica: Partying with Narcos49:38 - Cuba: Santa Maria & day drinking with parents 51:22 - Plugs: Watch Radu at the Comedy Nest!Don't forget to Like, Subscribe, and maybe even comment you coward!#DrunkByNoon #MontrealComedy #RaduSona #Podcast #Storytime #ComedyNest #MontrealLife #TravelStories #StandUpComedy

Is it stress, genetics, or just too much "street fighting"? 🍻In Episode 32, the survivor himself, Vance Michel, returns to the studio just two months after a major heart attack to break down what actually happened. From the six-pill-a-day lifestyle to the theory that masturbation might have actually saved his life, we’re getting into the gritty (and hilarious) details of his recovery.But the chaos doesn't stop there. We dive into Vance's recent legal trouble after beating up his "Mongolian" neighbour, the mystery of the rock thrown through his window, and why he was hesitant to call an ambulance because of the fee. 💸Finally, we pivot to some of our most unhinged theories yet: How to get the N-word pass (according to Vance’s rules), why the P. Diddy and Justin Bieber connection matters, and a deep dive into "The Odyssey" being remade with black Greeks. Plus, we debate why the future of humanity is looking very "light brown" and why redheads might be going extinct by 2030.#DrunkByNoon #VanceMichelle #HeartAttackSurvivor #MontrealComedy #Podcast #ComedyPodcast #NWordPass #Evolution #NYC #Montreal #PDiddyTimestamps:00:00 - Welcome to Season 3: Vance Michelle, the Heart Attack Survivor 02:16 - Genetics vs. Stress: Why Vance had a heart attack at 42 04:12 - Storytime: Beating up the neighbour at 1AM06:50 - Police, handcuffs, and a lucky break in court 07:45 - The rock through the window & the "Street Fighter" mentality 12:13 - The Tim Hortons incident & Quebec ambulance fees 14:40 - Ambulance Rant: Why paramedics keep asking your name 17:00 - Surgery details: Nitroglycerin and "TNT" medicine 20:50 - James Oakley & the Cardiology hookup 24:40 - Vance’s Rules: How to get the N-Word Pass27:50 - Venezuelan President kidnapping & gangster geopolitics 29:10 - P. Diddy, Justin Bieber, and the quest for the Pass 31:10 - Tracks NYC vs. Tracks MTL: Strangle me with my own chain! 32:30 - Why Redheads are going extinct by 2030 34:30 - 2050: Why everyone will look like a "Light Brown" Latina 36:30 - Anti-semitism in South America & the new President of Mexico 38:50 - Russell Crowe as a fat Herman Goring in "Nuremberg" 40:30 - Remaking The Odyssey: Why are the Greeks black now? 41:40 - Cutting the line at the Parthenon43:20 - Arch Nemesis: Meeting "Delusional" and making peace 45:45 - The fall of Fat Farm & Baby Phat fashion51:30 - Mic-throating and chest hair on the stage 53:05 - Plugs: World’s Smallest Comedy Night & Rapid Flames Podcast

Erik Intrevado pops back on to update us on his weekly show at the Burgundy Lion. Pecker tells a story about his autistic cellmate, Peter pretends to like rap, Samson puts up curtains.WELCOME BACK TO SEASON 3 OF THE DRUNK BY NOON PODCAST

Season 2 finale, happy holidays, I love you all, Osmosis Jones bring me back my fucking bike.

CEO of wikipedia was on the Epstein flight logs confirmed.

Someone give the president of Costa Rica 20$ so the currency stabilises.

We got a Weinstein job here Barbara.

I had to blow 7 guys to become an extra on Midway.

Who even fucking reads Chinese?

Today's guest is 120% not gay, I repeat not gay, and I definitely did not start a church saying that he was.

Happy October 8th everybody DO NOT add George on steam.

We highly suggest for the Yes Theory guys to do the holocaust.

One battle after another is just me trying to get hard.

What you a fucking straight guy or something?

450 hours of us discussing Charlie Kirk, also computer cam was broken this episode so you don't see what we were looking at but you get a pretty solid idea.

Welcome to my asshole, yes im fucking gay.

James "Boom Boom" Mancini joins us to talk about Jews, wrestling and for some reason black people.

Vance Michel joins us this episode and tells us about made up cities in the state of New York.

We interview Peter (First 48 style)

Dostoevsky was a libcuck.

We're gonna edit that out.

Erik Intrevado comes to talk to us about the Peel Pub fiasco and how its the Enron of our times. I have also decided that I am the cab driver from spawn.

We're joined by our good friend George Assily to discuss the legality of banging chicks with williams disease. Also we delve into LGBTQ2SAIDS+- vexology and I figure out I really am gay.

Armando the Cumdo explains the infinite money glitch.

Guest this week is the never been anything, but a fat italian Atraxx from JOFO. Check em out they film their podcast exclusively on a disposable Kodak camera.

Have you ever pretended to go to italy?

I fucking love editing podcasts and beating up the Chinese outside of Aboriginal casinos.

The gang discovers how many places in Quebec are named after the N-word and more importantly how to relocate to them.

The Chinese kid with down syndrome wanted Peter to do what?!?

Tony Robbins wants you to blow him, Peter gets banned from choosing videos.

Shoutout Joe DeRosa and frozen sperm

Chinese capitalism and prison. Happy easter everyone.