Jelly beans welcome to another episode of Jesse Wilder's Guide to Light. Jesse that's Wilder and we're here. God. How'd you like?
Bro? This is perfect. I wanted to talk you about this. I forgot.
Do you see Teaj dropped a fucking sour jelly bean? Oh, how is it? Is it? I didn't get it yet.
Believe it or not. Oh, I was afraid it wouldn't last the car ride home, but sure That's the good that's the sour beans. Jelly Belly's sour put them in the Hall of Fame as far as candy goes. Oh god Damn, let's talk jelly beans only tonight.
Yeah jelly beans. I think get a bad rap. We think about that. Yeah, I think it's Well old birdie bot really did a number on them, huh?
Yeah, I suppose so. Oh, bro I got so much to say about jelly beans right now. You know what I saw in Charleston a couple weekends ago And we were walking through some touristy area with a lot of novelty bullshit in like a candy area jelly belly got like a Game where it's a spinner and you get a box of jelly beans that are either meant like this is the orange ones either mango or Interesting and you got a spin and you got to eat and when you get you have to find out whether you get the puke one or the grape I don't know if I love that huh shout out. That seems like Nathan for you.
Yes. Yes. I don't love that I don't love like our product is good. Trust me.
Would you play it? Of course of course. I'm out here playing it. You know you're talking to a gambling man of course, bro I played all damn day.
Come on. You think there's strategy involved. You think gotta be there's only a limited amount of each one Right? So what you do is you get the sweet one you say it's puke you trick them.
There you go now You're now you're getting it. Hey guys. You want to talk jelly belly spinner game strategy a holler at your boy Did you play it or did you just you're just talking out of your ass right now? I saw it bro I did not buy that with my money.
Oh, I would I would know that's my money that is the definition of a fucking city snacks So you want to talk about this or you want to tell me something? No, okay? We're not gonna talk about that. We're gonna talk about the thing we're gonna talk about which is what tell them go tell them right now tell them hosting hosting not like website or Being behind the podium at a restaurant right now talking about having people over yeah, you're hosting overnight Yeah, what do we think about is one night enough?
Is that is that hosting or is that someone's crashing with you tonight? Very quite lit two nights, right? Correct. I fucking don't want in for longer.
Sorry. No, no, no, no, no, no And we should say wait we should say you just hosted right then you just not really it would know not in our home So when you said I just did that it was sort of a lie you did lie yeah Well, I'm I am hosting this weekend quite quite a quite a gambit who you got wait wait two nights is very quite lit three nights Very pretty good one night very pretty good and like okay. I want you for three nights I can't do it first of all guys no shade from any of us This is this is another one where like people that listen to this might have we've hosted them They've hosted us they we could be hosting situation in the future. No lots of shade don't stay for more than three nights Gang you're not invited for three nights me personally to like as the hostie hate it hate a three plus night stay It's so you can only ask that of someone if you're coming from a very like distance Maybe has a relationship on length right?
I don't know because like when I'm in London Shout out to the London us I say for three night like it would be silly to pop over to another country for Okay, you know yeah, yeah, and actually so oh man Can we and if you're doing like what if I'm visiting across the country for a three-day weekend? That's Friday night Saturday night Sunday night, so I guess it also depends on the guest list of course right like if you're Let's put three in very pretty good. I think yeah, I don't I don't want anyone in my house for four nights ever Okay, oh my god four nights. Yeah, you live here now and that's tough because then what you're crossing into there is you're getting into the territory of Like I'm gonna go to work and you're gonna be in my house and that is never great.
Oh, it's but yeah It's that the I hate that I don't know where that goes But I hate that and also you need to know if you're the guest get the fuck out Don't hang here. No go to a museum. Oh, yeah, you got it. You must get that's all I might office.
I don't give a fuck what you do. Yeah, go on a field trip do something like this take it Obviously get up whenever you want take a shower get your shit together and then peace out, please Yeah, let me hit you with very quiet like guest list. Yeah, you're stupid friends, right? That's the only that's the only good one because you don't have to try hard You can you can throw them into a fucking pile of filth.
Yeah, that said I Shout out to my good friends proprietors of speaking Z most talking about stubborn ale Bobby and Jesse they have Basically they're running a hotel every time I fucking stay at their house. They have a separate bedroom This mother fuck dog candles lit fresh sheets Candles she gets us fucking bagels and sometimes in and out in the morning shout out the two are basically running a bed Breakfast for free. Thank you. It is lovely, but not if you if I'm hosting I'm not doing that.
I'm so sorry Yeah, I mean that's better than me sure. Yeah, so okay, so guess list I want to stick on guess list for a second your stupid friends the next one that almost happens is Parents right and family or your partner's parents are those the same? I think those are different your parents is better Okay, or is it are you sure? Yeah?
No, it's not maybe parent partners parents are very pretty good and your parents are very not quite lit Yes, because I think this is maybe done But it's because like you're already sick of your parents shit, you know Like you remind your partners parents nearly as much as they do right right there All their goofy shit is quirky to you you love it still not bro. No parents got to be very pretty good because they're picking up a table weekend You know what I mean? Yeah, it's good points good points good point You can sort of expect that from partners parents too, but usually parents the weekend is on them Yeah, I respect that and appreciate that I mean this depends on everyone's family But if you've got like close siblings or cousins or shit like that I guess that's very quite that counts as your stupid friends. I suppose I think it counts as your stupid friends I think we're gonna get very not quite lit is a friend of a friend.
Oh, this does not happen often It but it has it does it does I've hosted friends of a friend before yes And it's like all my friends in town you guys are gonna be great like this like you're gonna love them They're like my best friend from sixth grade and you're like oh my god sixth grade. Yeah, there's a way I'm gonna like this little creep Absolutely not you don't like this so I hosted a friend of a friend once for a long time in Los Angeles I was the only one of my friend group who was single everyone else was coupled up You know and this girl hit on two of the boyfriends in the same night like with the girlfriends around that's tough in like a Unflattering nasty way. Oh boy. Yeah, that's no good.
That's absolutely Sometimes you get that with friend of a friend sometimes you get shout out James Norton who a friend of a friend stay with me and turned out to be The single greatest person I know right oh, yeah Yeah, and so so you it's a roll the dice, but I would say for sure nine times out of ten It's a stinker. Yeah, I got another very not quite like guest list though. Oh, okay me unexpected guest. Okay, like give me What is it like a shiker situation?
No, no like oh, we just had a party everyone's gone. Who the fuck is this guy? Oh, he's too drunk to move. Oh my gosh, he's on the couch just leave on the fucking couch tonight Yeah, I mean that wasn't even there that's barely even hosting you know that's like you're Housing a refugee at that point, but yeah, but that can get unexpected guests sounds like a ghost okay ghost is it too?
Do you host the ghost I get yeah? I guess I guess it would be a one because they really overstate honestly a ghost is hosting you I don't think so you're the one living up in their shit. I guess that's true Yeah, either way ghost got to be a one I suppose what about while we're on guess list while we're talking about nonsense What about you know that flick misery? Is it that so that would be unexpected guest and it's also like I guess that's also very not quite let it would be like Someone that holds you prisoner.
Yeah, yeah a prisoner situation and also have you ever seen the movie the guest no well? He kills everyone spoiler. Okay. No one expected please and thank you.
Okay, so sleeping situation obviously a guest bedroom is the elite of the elite Yeah, of course, sir. That's a huge dare the opposite of that whatever that fucking dirty grimey red couch that you had That I slept on that was like Wilted yeah, bro. I don't know the history because that wasn't even right that wasn't even my college couch That was shout out to all of the now incredibly successful people I used to live with No, I know it went on I know it went on to my college couch and I wouldn't want to sleep on that Yeah, well I slept on that sick fucking red couch that was probably older than the house that that couch was hosting you guys in the same way That's that was the ghost. Yeah, exactly so it's nasty a big a big nasty couch any couch is really not ideal to be honest I think air mattress is a very pretty good great just barely honestly No, but just barely then doesn't take any space you don't have to have a guest bedroom in that case Yeah, but the problem with an air mattress as the guest is that that shit fucking deflates You ever get one of those and then you end up in this little cocoon.
Yeah. Oh, yeah Yeah, that was the first 10 days of us living in this fucking apartment. Yeah, that's fucking stinks I think couch is very pretty good also because Don't forget some people have really good couches. Yeah, I just think it's still I mean when some of them are fatons Yeah, okay, so I think futon and pull out are their own thing, okay, but I still think couch is very pretty good Oh, what?
Former former guests ash cross and shout out to her couch. It's incredible. It's like as wide as a bed I slept on that thing It's amazing the problem with the couch is not just if it's comfortable because the couch is gonna be comfortable part of the problem with the couches that you're in the common area most likely another part of problem with the couch is that you're laying down where everyone's Butts always are another problem with the couches that I everyone's butts is a good point I just think if if we're calling like an air mattress or two. I don't think I could put couch I like maybe couches or two maybe all right fucking anti-couch my graph Yeah, just stinks when the other options are like to have a foot like you can't put futon and fucking couch in the same category When futon is just a couch wet turn into a bed.
Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? What else would you sleep on? Oh, I mean very not quite late in my room get the fuck out my God You are not welcome in here Reasers.
Yeah, that is absolutely no good And I think that a lot of this especially sleeping situation. It's gonna be the same whether you're the guest or the Yeah, I agree. I got one that fits that perfectly someone else's bed. So like oh, yeah, Dave's not here Yeah, that's very pretty good.
Honestly because like so that happens to me pretty much every time I go to London Shout out literally to a guy named Dave and it's like I don't know where Dave's been Dave I know you're a clean guy, but I don't know what you were what your state was the last time you were in this bed Right, right. No totally and and sometimes the person is there and it's like an accommodate like a friendly accommodation like oh, yeah Like when your parents come it's like no no I'll sleep on the air mattress you sleep in the bed. That's bad forever I hate that I mean it's the right thing to do it's what God would want, you know Oh my God, bro. You ever live with a roommate who offered up your bed without asking you when you were gone?
Oh, no absolutely not. Did they live to tell the tale do you kill that person? That person is six feet under Geez Louise offer your room. God damn it.
Talk about when this is The weekend is very quite lit. Any anything that's not the weekend anything else can suck my shit. Wait it Settings Cyan don't eat that Also, I think this rubric is gonna bend to what I mean It's obviously all these things stand true, but when you're in college nothing matters, oh my God You'll sleep in the dirt Yeah, I mean I feel like when I was a kid there you would look for an excuse to back We just put so I yeah like so don't like for no fucking reason I slept in a couple of kitchens in college. Mm-hmm.
So go itinerary I don't know how to if this even goes here but like somebody has to be daddy explain and it has to be you what's that mean like you sort of need to plan the weekend okay? You need to pull we've talked about this before though. You gotta have a plan Yeah, you know you love plans you can't do the sort of standoff where it's like what do you want to do? Well, I don't know what do you want because when I go somewhere new I want the person who knows what's up to choose?
What's going on? How do you feel about a loan time like alright? You guys go do your thing and we'll catch you later is that explain what you're talking about so like you're I'm hosting you and You're gonna be here Like Friday Saturday Sunday, but your cousin lives in my city. So Saturday.
I'm actually not gonna see you that long Oh, yeah, it's fine. It's very pretty good. I'm fine with it. Yeah, I don't mind especially if you're staying for a long time No problem.
I don't I don't super mind either I think that's a I think it's nice actually to like have a little you know like a little alone time You could talk some shit about that maybe I might oh talking shit bonus point always baby always oh speaking of bonus points Do you know max is on Twitter? No No, that's funny tweets you responded to a shout out to Max at peendil Max I wish you wouldn't say peendil for me at least at at Peendil aka Max said y'all asked yourselves with the opposite of a bonus point and then gave yourself the answer It's a demerit. So demerits bro. That's what I've been trying to think of this whole time Okay, do you want to add it?
Well if we can't we've come to an actual right now, but I'm just saying a demerit is not a bad one Yeah, that's not bad. That's not a good job. Peendil. Thanks.
Peeendil. Yeah, that's my dad's name Okay, I got a very I like a knight in is I think bad oh my god fuck that I know someone who Someone came to visit them from another country in Los Angeles and what they did was literally nothing They sat in the apartment all weekend long they went to four innings of a Dodger game and left why they do that? I don't I don't know I don't know they such like shit on it like honestly not even joking I think they're watching movies on their laptop you yeah, correct, but okay, but okay, but uh this is tough because Chelsea just had a friend come visit for the weekend and Chelsea was like What do you want to do and she was like I just want to do what we always do and which is to just that basically what you just said like Kind of like loaf around eat a bunch of snacks watch my TV Bro, but guess what is this Chelsea's friends guy to life or is this Jesse right, but I'm saying that there's some I'm just saying that there's some value in it is all mmm I don't like it. Okay.
All right. Well, we already have a knight in it very not quite lit So I mean it's there we got it's it's my perfect little trip if I'm the guest or even if I'm the host honestly I want to show people around and I want to do it by have a drink have a snack have a snack walkin all around the dang places Mmm. That's like what we did in Toronto drinks. It's not well and also Austin what we do every single time we go anywhere Yes, that's what I base everything around.
Yes, exactly. We didn't trust him Yeah, drinks and snacks is a one. I'm I'm into that I got another one for you and this one is something that I think is just I'm gonna just say it's good old-fashioned fun Stayin up late. What do you think about that?
Love to stay up late, bro It's so fun when you're hosting when you're for I mean this is so dumb But this is like such like sleepover mentality where it's like you get home from the bar whatever and you're like Oh, okay, and you all kind of get ready for bed and you're like hey, we're still in the same place I mean we could just oh no talk shit for a little bit. I did there is a bad there is a bad part about staying up late though go on so you know when you're the guest and You're sleeping on the couch. Oh, and oof you had a long day Yeah, it's what the host is excited to see you baby. We're sitting on the couch on that He wants to watch three four or five more episodes of this show, but yeah You're sitting on my bed right now, bro.
That's how you to go to bed tough on the guest Yeah, so what do we what is it host etiquette? Is that a category? I don't mind that as a category and then very quite lit read the room. Yeah in like every situation read the room Right like it's it's this thing.
We're like, okay. I'm trying to go to bed. Let me go to bed It's this thing where it's like dude. I someone super hung over.
Let's not yeah go plan a 9 a.m. Breakfast Oh my god, and like okay, this kind of goes to the room But I think it's its own Separate thing kind of you've got to be flexible as the host Lock in make everyone do the thing that you really want Yeah, you can't like as much as you think that your friends would love the fucking aquarium one of the you get one thing per day You get to insist on I mean maybe even one per like pop honestly like I know you're about this museum That's it because if every single day you're like cool We have to do this thing. It's gonna take four hours and then we'll do what you want to do Yeah, I mean I that for sure I'm thinking of like there's a bar we have to go to today yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, which to me is like that's yeah, I'm less concerned as a as a guest I'm less concerned with like we have to go another one of stupid bars being told to go to a museum I would I would be literally kill somebody yeah, or like oh I got us tickets to this comedy show like I wish you wouldn't of I sure Wish you wouldn't have oh god us tickets to a comedy show That's that might be our first to merit huh? Yeah, oh my god goddess take a you guys want to see some improv tonight For tics You guys want to see it because I already bought tickets they're non-refundable we are going sucks Here's the other thing I want to write as another category Maybe our final category accommodations right the candles which I don't know about candles I guess candles is very quite late.
I mean I can't say bad thing about them Yeah, I mean it's not so much the can't it just like go going all out is very quite lit right right right I'm fresh linens baby is a very quite lit and that's something that as a as a stupid college kid You just don't know you know it's the least you could do yeah, but like you wilder Just watch them you wilder every time I came to your house and then you I used a blankie Did you wash them right away? I always watch them before people came okay? That's nice. That's nice I do it afterwards I pretty much wait until someone's coming and then I wash it kind of the same thing I do with my suit sure Let's sit there and rot until I have to go somewhere and then yeah, just yep yep yep yep yep yep Just in its own filth.
Mm-hmm. I got one that I've been put very not quite late that I think that you you denied recently But is up your most heinous offense to me maybe ever having only one towel in your whole entire fucking home Bro is definitely very not quite my fault that no one read the hitchhiker's guy to the galaxy and doesn't bring a towel with them Oh my god, dude, you guys you guys I mean it's self-explanatory, but on more than one occasion I would drive down to LA you've talked about this on so many episodes good It's fucking criminal what you did and it's just like you just said that you would wash the blankets before we got there I'm a graphic at the towel. What is he my son? Bro?
I'm coming to LA for the weekend. I have a backpack I can't just be stuffing it full of towels and linens for God I get you some fucking granola bars on about it also like you don't just want the convenience of at least one other towel Holy shit like you're just watching dry your eyes that I didn't have towels when I was living in a room that didn't have a door I was so mad about it And I'm sure I said before but that Brian and I came shout to Brian Brian Brian and I came and we our first stop was that we went to Target I think and bought towels to leave at your house. Yeah, and those were the guest towels that everyone got forever Yeah, so hey everyone you're welcome. See why buy towels that someone will do it for you.
Oh my god It's you're fucking worthless the having a pet is too right on both ends Yeah, it's gotta be cuz like you know if someone got a good dog That's fun. Yeah, but I've also been the guest of someone who had a cat that jumped on my face in the middle of the night more than once Yeah, that's no good. That's what you call no good. Oh, bro.
Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Accommodations a bathroom that's far away from like a guest bathroom I think we didn't talk about on its own but of course you do can the reviews are in babes and the fucking episode It's a hit so I don't know what Wilder can do right now except for fucking get down his knees and thank God that we talked about bathrooms For so long. I was actually just gonna say distance in general like I Yeah, oh, yeah, I mean that's just a good apartment I think yeah, but like I just you know You know you and that's nobody's fault But sometimes you stay in a place where the living room you're sleeping in the bedroom You're sleeping in shares a wall with their bedroom and like I don't know sometimes you want to talk to your partner Maybe do something else with your partner and you don't want okay etiquette, baby. How about guest etiquette? No?
Do you not? Forticate in my home. Oh, I think it's a two. No, it's not have a good time, baby No, have a good time elsewhere.
This is not a hotel be my guest like the fucking cantaloupe or said He's talking about fucking in his house. Oh my god. Oh, I think very not quite lit host would be the beast Yeah, well that is kind of a captive situation we did touch on that a little bit we did Yeah, a little bit bones I'll put as a one but but Jesse disagrees on the puts Good, you're the freak ass. Oh, yeah, so distance is good.
Yeah, and then okay, and then yes a guest bathroom to me is tires fuck Oh, and how about like I mean with along with distance is like you're on little TV What if the host is tired and you're like no worries? What does watch some show? Well, just one I don't got a bed yet. Yeah, and you don't want to hear each other.
That's you see now you're getting it Sometimes you just block it out, baby. I like this is a host etiquette thing and I think it's a three It's very basic but like the the pre bed speech. It's almost like the pre flight routine that a flight that it does You know where you give them the old you're there everyone's getting ready for bed. Yeah.
Yeah, all right You guys you get water over here the glasses are here obviously help really is like a fucking flight attendant. Yeah, exactly that right Oh bathrooms are located here the exits there. Yeah, the water handle sticks a little bit But it shouldn't be any problems you let us know if you need anything Yeah, and so if you guys need to use the toilet just flush the handle that makes the water go away If you want to turn off the lights if you if it'll get darker when you turn them off So if you want to sleep with them on you just don't turn them off Just explains like how a house works like no one doesn't yeah, we get it. Uh-huh.
No, but I like that You don't like it. You want it to no I do like it like oh you wanna see shut up stubborn nail again They they got a fucking whole routine on yeah. Oh chargers bro chargers come on. Oh a combination charge They had them both side of the bed each bed.
It was crazy. Let me get another one This is we're just dabbling into like almost like hotel stuff But I mean the more like a hotel the better right yeah, correct correct like a bedside lamp is incredible I'll tell you what's not I feel like oftentimes you'll find this in your room that you're sleeping in littor box Very not quite late. I feel like that's where it would be right the other room So yes, and that person can move it is the other thing. It's a fucking box move it move it get it out of here bolted to the floor Yeah, Jesus Christ.
Yeah, it's fucking chained. It's chained to the wall here's something host etiquette You want to get that person's bags dropped off as soon as fucking possible? Mmm when I get into town, I'm not trying to meet you at the restaurant first with my fucking suit case Yeah, you drop the bags immediately that might actually that might be itinerary actually, but yeah rid of them and from both from both parties Sucks and accommodations. I don't think this isn't accommodations.
It's something get him a set keys It's great that's cool. That's real fucking service for you babe. That's a great one. Mm-hmm I've got I got a two four.
I think accommodations I'm gonna put remotes and like capital S. You ever stay somewhere? And they're like all right this one turns on the Roku this one turns on half of the TV This one turns on even this this brother's transcends this transcends this topic. Yes.
Yes. Yes I just don't understand why we got so many fucking remotes these days. It's 2021 oh my god, I have two remotes, okay, yeah Proud I'm a proud to see yeah, that's what they call it in middle school to see what yeah We didn't talk of this in guest list, but like one person is very quite lit two people very pretty good No, I guess one to one to two is very quite lit. Yeah, I mean it to be sure again Good to be rich because if you got like some fucking lake house get the whole squad up in there I love the lake house.
That's a whole different lake house is a whole bonus. Yeah Yeah, well, yes, of course, but I still have a word going up to the cabin There's still a bit of a of an issue with more than two people just because then you get into this thing where it's like Okay, well anything we plan it's gonna be like we gotta do stuff where they can accommodate a bigger group I also guess at that point though. You're not even hosting right everyone is yeah, right if you're all doing cabin weekend Even if it's your cabin yeah, I get three people is insane. I feel like that's never a group of people that travels But I was and then four plus I'm given the I'm given a yeah, very not quite late.
That's I don't even know if two people is very quite lit. I have to say it's tower line, bro I think you I don't know if I will allow it Interesting, okay, I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that actually. I'm talking very quite lit best of the best it can't be well The only reason I think for me having two people it's a couple I guess it's sort of like one person well in that way It's not there's not also like a third wheel situation, you know I mean I'm fine either way with it, but I think one to two is fine Especially if it's I think that that's the deal breaker right if it's two people that aren't a couple then it's you both can get fucked Mm-hmm.
I host etiquette don't give me your couch pillow. Oh my god. I want a real bed I want exactly what as the guest I want what you want host the golden rule we all know the golden rule he has the gold makes the rules We have a bar for you on this fine Tuesday night. Yeah, we got a chokester over here Oh, oh host etiquette host etiquette one rules, please do not My god, I mean, you know that you know about my rule I do as a one as that one does a one house rule that yeah, and it's a filthy It's the filthy little bitch one that I hate bro.
I'm so sorry that I want to have clean floors and carpets What can I tell you nothing like a clean carpet? I'm wearing shoes as we record this how about that but you're sitting in your fucking bed with your hiking boots You know Chris parrot khakis Oh accommodations very quite lit climate control. Oh, absolutely How far are we traveling from home? I think not far.
I love not having to have a car involved. I love an on-foot itinerary. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'll give, I'll even toss with on-foot public transportation.
Sure. Yeah. I think we can agree driving very not quite lit. Like driving yourself.
Ooh, yeah. Ooh, yeah. Ooh, boobering is a very pretty good. I mean, I think, yeah.
For itinerary, just like, you want to be nearby. You want to have some, I just like to have a couple of laces up my sleeve. I love, how do you love that when you're hosting someone and you've got like, you know, there's like two or three things around that you know the love and you kind of just like, pop it on them a little bit. You can't hit them when you, they walk through the door.
You know, you got to like wait, you got to let it simmer a little bit. Yeah. What do we have to do? That's right.
Right. Right. Right. Yeah.
And they're like, what do we have to do? And I was like, can we go to a little place called the Manji Manji? And they're like, Manji Manji? What's that?
I'm like, oh, fuck. You're taking them to Manji Manji? Oh, yeah. We're going to Manji Manji.
Oh, is itinerary? Oh, what about balling out on the itinerary? I kind of like a little fallout. Of course.
Yeah. I don't know how to not, honestly, it sounds like such a D-bag thing to say. I don't know how to not. Right.
It's true. I'm not capable of it. Yeah. I mean, let me just real quick rapid fire some things that did happen when I hosted you and Mike that I think we're going to host that.
I get that are probably or accommodations that are bad. I'll hit you with one. Roaches. That's no good.
Roaches. No good. Nasty little hellhole. We talked about like sleeping in sleeping in the same room.
We did not talk about sharing a bed, which is also probably a one. I wouldn't, I wouldn't you would not be invited to stay. Unfortunately, if that is what it is, it will not be having a visit this weekend. I'm not be inviting anyone to share my bed.
Okay. And I won't do it. Yeah. If I got to your place and you're like, anyways, here's the bed.
I hope you like, uh, go eat me. Yeah. This isn't it. This is yours.
You've made a mistake. I just remember my, I'm literally, I will pay whatever hotel costs before doing this. Yeah. Um, another thing and this is a sleeping situation.
I had like an air pad, not an air mattress, like an air pad that you would take camping. That's gotta be a very not quite lit as well. Oh, God. Yeah.
On the hardwood floor no less. Obviously, this is, you can't really help this, but accommodations, I would say having roommates is a one, right? Like you don't want to visit. Oh, God.
No. No. I have one other thing. And it looks and smells and feels like a time machine that I'd like to get into.
Oh, this is a job. Yeah. I had a feeling. I had a feeling.
Yeah. Yeah. And you know what I'm talking about. You at least know what topic I'm dipping back into.
Yes. Of course he could not one episode was not enough. The craving could not be satisfied. He has the hunger, but a week removed.
I gotta get back in my 20 talk. I got to. I just so if you don't know the job machine is that which is I think what it's called. I don't know.
We've only done this bit once. Uh, we revisit leave me out of it. Oh my God. Yeah.
Right. Like I didn't mention water. I don't know. I'm not sure.
I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure.
I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure.
I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure you're part last time and you got so fucking fired up.
I can hear you stand. I just got to dip my toe in real quick. This is going to be a real quick. But it felt like such a huge oversight for something that I think is so clutch so often.
It's honestly especially in our current era. We're jumping back into public restroom and I want to give a very quiet lit to a coat hook in a stall. Absolutely love it. It is so essential to have that little.
I this is what fucking wet your whistles. Yes, dude. Yes, dude, because because look first of all. Okay.
Yes. Weather dependent, of course, in New York, I can see how that is. Yes. Yes.
First of all. If we're. Yes. Yes.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Yes Yes. Yes. It is cool. Like you've got to pop that giant fucking code off.
I'm often like, same again, especially in New York, but really in general, I'm often, I have a bag with me, like a backpack where I've got whatever in it that's nice to hang it out. Put on the fucking ground. And I'll tell you what I do these days, I hang my mask on it because I am not open with a mask on. Sorry guys, it's not happening.
And I don't want to just crumplet up into my pocket or like hold it while I do my of something that's touching that door, also touching my face. But it's the hook, it's just barely, I mean, it's not really touching the door. That's what the beauty of the hook is. I don't like it touching anything.
I don't want it anywhere. Oh my God, that's disgusting. The hook is clean. Oh my God, oh you don't know what's on that hook.
Oh my God, so your butt is on this thing that has other people's butts on it, and you're over there, but the door is dirty. Oh, I don't want to get into this, but look. Homeboy uses the fucking little paper cover thing. Oh, we did, okay, that was the other guy I wanted to bring up, but we don't have to.
But yeah, we didn't even mention the little nasty paper. We can't just have a part two episode about can we please God? I think we should, but okay, that's fine. You didn't want anything, I feel like you did have another thing to say, because you definitely texted me afterwards, and now you won't do it, I have a spite, and that's fine.
No, I honestly, I can't remember what it was. I actually even thought of something today, and then told myself I remember, and then didn't write it down. So. But you did have some other 20 thoughts, and that's all the matter.
I definitely thought I did, you like magazines in there? I don't know, I'm just trying to think of something. No, no, it's fine, it's fine. You tricked me.
Blade yourself, bud. There's too much to talk about. I think I could say more about public restrooms again than we did just now about hosting. Absolutely.
But that's fine, I mean, we always, you gotta follow up a heater episode with kind of a dud, so this worked out well. I guess so. Thank you to Adam Faye for the art. Thank you to T-Bones Jones for the music.
Thank you to San Francisco, Oakland, San Jose for leading the downloads. Philly, you're in second. It was a good run. I mean, still a great run considering we know nobody there.
Yeah. Have you been to Philly? Yeah, Tom to next. That's right, that's right.
That's what I was pretty sure I got drugged by some of the British people. Yeah, that's what that's their signature thing. Is that true? No.
Okay, shout out to Bulgaria, as always. That's always in our hearts. Yeah, far from us, physically, but close to us in our hearts. Yeah.
Bulgaria, I shouldn't do what I'm doing. Nah, you shouldn't. But you think the Bulgarian national anthem is though? It's probably like, Bulgaria?
It's like a 90s rap. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but like a. Jump to the side. Yeah, like is the place I wanna be.
It's like that, but if the music was all like a non-licensed, you know, like free. Yeah, royalty free. And royalty free music. Audio watermark.
Yeah. We need to quit while we're behind. Bulgarian national anthem. That's a fucking watermark.
Where if you listen to it? 35 seconds in it goes. Sound wave. Yeah.
Holy shit. Thank you for making it all the way to the end of the episode where we finally said something funny. If it's that. I'll catch you freaks on another day.
Yeah, don't hurt each other. What's the thing I said? Murder each other. Don't murder each other.