Hot Combs, Safe Spaces, and Growing Up Black

For so many Black women, emotional safety started in the kitchen. The smell of Blue Magic, the sizzle of a straightening comb, the sound of “Hold your ear” — those weren’t just routines. They were rituals. In that chair by the stove, we found connection, care, and permission to let our guards down. Those moments — ordinary as they seemed — were often the first time emotional safety showed up for us.We didn’t always have the words for it back then, but we felt it. And these aren’t just memories. They’re reminders.Reminders that emotional safety is still possible, even if it looks different now. For Black women navigating life without those small sacred spaces, this episode is an invitation:To name the need.To remember you still deserve to be held.And to reclaim the truth that emotional safety isn’t new — it’s something we’ve known in our bones all along. Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.