How Abusive Men Make You Think You're the Abuser | Emma Davey | S4E2

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!If you have ever wondered whether you are the toxic one, the narcissist, the problem…that question is not a coincidence, it was put there on purpose.Lisa sits down with Emma Davey, trauma-informed counsellor and master's candidate in the psychology of coercive and controlling behaviour, to break down exactly how abusive men flip the script. Together they walk through how self-blame gets installed from the very beginning, why the fawn response has so many women working overtime to manage someone else's mood, and what DARVO actually looks like in real time inside a relationship and in court.They also get into the fight response, the moment you finally explode after months or years of being poked, prodded, and worn down, and why that moment gets weaponized as proof that you are the unstable one. Emma is clear: that reaction does not make you the abuser, it makes you human. Your nervous system was doing exactly what it was built to do.One of the most important reframes in this conversation is also one of the simplest. The person genuinely causing harm is not lying awake at night wondering if they are hurting you. They are not on YouTube looking for answers. You are. And that tells you everything you need to know.Resources mentioned:Mynara app by Emma Davey (evidence tracking, disguised as a calculator)My Trauma Therapy: mytraumatherapy.co.ukSupport the showThis is the podcast they don't want you listening to.👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with LisaJoin my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IGWatch on YouTubeGet My Books HereNew episodes drop every Tuesday.Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.