How ADHD Can Be Missed in Quiet Women

Some women spend years wondering why everyday life feels more difficult than it seems to for other people. They may appear calm, capable and organised on the outside, yet privately struggle with overwhelm, overthinking, self-criticism and exhaustion.In this episode, Dr Lee David is joined by Gabrielle Treanor, ADHD coach, author and founder of the Quiet ADHD Club, to explore how ADHD can be missed in quiet, introverted and sensitive women.Diagnosed herself at 48, Gabrielle reflects on why many women do not recognise themselves in common ADHD stereotypes. The discussion explores how ADHD may be hidden behind competence, people-pleasing, perfectionism and a lifelong effort to appear as though everything is under control.The conversation looks at masking, rejection sensitivity, burnout, hyperfocus and the impact of living for years without understanding why certain aspects of life feel harder than they seem to for others. It also explores the relationship between ADHD, menopause and the inner critic, and how understanding what is happening can bring relief, self-compassion and a different way of viewing ourselves.Practical strategies are woven throughout the discussion, including creating space for joy and creativity, recognising rejection sensitivity, using movement to support regulation, managing time blindness and building compassionate approaches that reduce pressure rather than adding to it.This is a thoughtful conversation about self-understanding, compassion and recognising ADHD beyond the stereotypes.Key moments00:00 Finding the quiet ADHD story01:58 Gabrielle's late ADHD diagnosis05:30 How ADHD can look different in women08:56 The hidden inner experience of ADHD12:25 Perfectionism, masking and the inner critic14:05 Burnout and unmet potential18:46 Why joy matters for the ADHD brain23:07 Rejection sensitivity and relationships29:40 Self-compassion and regulation35:04 Time blindness and overcommitting37:55 Hyperfocus and healthy boundaries40:59 Movement as a regulation toolAbout the guestGabrielle Treanor is a coach, writer, author and podcaster based in Wales, specialising in supporting introverted and sensitive women who discover – or suspect – they have ADHD later in life. Diagnosed herself at 48, Gabrielle hosts the Quiet ADHD Club, works one to one with coaching clients, and has an MSc in Applied Positive Psychology. She is the author of The 1% Wellness Experiment and host of the Pressing Pause podcast. She is also creating the Better Read Book Fest – the UK’s first literary festival dedicated entirely to wellbeing books.You can connect with Gabrielle via her website, Instagram and LinkedInAbout the hostDr Lee David is a GP, CBT therapist and author specialising in mental health and wellbeing. Lee has written many books on CBT, mindfulness and teen wellbeing, and speaks regularly at conferences and in the media. Away from work she enjoys running, hiking, singing in a choir and spending time outdoors with her family. You can find Lee through her website and on Instagram, TikTok (@dr.lee.david), Facebook and LinkedIn.  You can find more about her books, wellbeing courses and therapy here:  https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david