How Avoidant Attachment Can Lead to Selfish Tendencies episode artwork

EPISODE · Jul 15, 2025 · 8 MIN

How Avoidant Attachment Can Lead to Selfish Tendencies

from LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS · host Jessica Da Silva, LMFT

We often talk about the emotional distance of avoidant attachers—but what if that “selfishness” is actually a protective coping mechanism?In this episode, I unpack how avoidant attachment can stem from emotional neglect and how hyper-independence becomes a substitute for unmet emotional needs. I share a personal story, common patterns I see in clients, and why adjusting expectations (on both sides) is key for healthy, interdependent relationships.Whether you’re dating someone avoidant or navigating your own avoidant patterns, this episode will help you better understand the “why” behind the behavior—and how to create more compassion and clarity in your relationships.*Learn about Attachment Coaching with Jessica HERE.

We often talk about the emotional distance of avoidant attachers—but what if that “selfishness” is actually a protective coping mechanism?In this episode, I unpack how avoidant attachment can stem from emotional neglect and how hyper-independence becomes a substitute for unmet emotional needs. I share a personal story, common patterns I see in clients, and why adjusting expectations (on both sides) is key for healthy, interdependent relationships.Whether you’re dating someone avoidant or navigating your own avoidant patterns, this episode will help you better understand the “why” behind the behavior—and how to create more compassion and clarity in your relationships.*Learn about Attachment Coaching with Jessica HERE.

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This episode was published on July 15, 2025.

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We often talk about the emotional distance of avoidant attachers—but what if that “selfishness” is actually a protective coping mechanism?In this episode, I unpack how avoidant attachment can stem from emotional neglect and how hyper-independence...

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