LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS podcast artwork

PODCAST · education

LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS

I’m Jessica Da Silva—a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Attachment Coach, and author—here to help you transform the way you experience love through practical, relatable insight. Along with breaking down attachment styles in an easy-to-understand way, I share my own personal journey of moving toward secure attachment, real client stories, conversations with guest experts, and tools you can use to heal and create healthier relationships.Coaching: https://jessicadasilvacoaching.com/Instagram: @thejessicadasilvaTiktok: @jessicadasilvacoachingEmail: [email protected]

  1. 148

    What God Taught Me About Secure Attachment

    In this episode, I share what God taught me about secure attachment, why people will inevitably let us down, and how finding security in something greater than ourselves can transform the way we experience love and relationships.💛 Just getting started? Check out the Secure Self Toolkit for attachment rewiring meditations, communication scripts, a trigger guide, and practical tools to help you become your most secure self.📞 Looking for personalized support? Book a Free Consultation to learn more about attachment coaching.Secure Self Toolkit Free Consultation

  2. 147

    Lessons From Dating an Avoidant and an Anxious Partner

    In this episode, I share the lessons I've learned from dating both avoidant and anxious partners, how each relationship highlighted different areas for growth, and why the goal isn't hyper-independence or over-dependence—but healthy interdependence.If you enjoyed this episode and are ready to start creating healthier patterns in your love life, check out my Secure Self Toolkit, filled with attachment rewiring meditations, communication scripts, a trigger guide, and practical tools to help you become your most secure self.Looking for personalized support? You can also book a Free Clarity Call to learn more about working with me one-on-one.Get the Secure Self ToolkitLearn about 1:1 Attachment Coaching with Jessica

  3. 146

    Why Anxious + Avoidant Relationships Can Work

    Are anxious and avoidant relationships really doomed, or have we oversimplified the conversation?In this episode, Jessica explores why attachment styles alone don't determine relationship success, the difference between unhealthy and challenging relationships, and how self-awareness, communication, and growth can help anxious and avoidant partners create a healthier dynamic together.💛 Work with Jessica 1:1✨ Try Jessica's Attachment Rewiring Meditations FREE for 7 Days

  4. 145

    The Paradox of Avoidant Healing: Learning to Lean Into Intimacy Despite the Fear

    In this episode, we explore the paradox of avoidant healing and why intimacy can feel both deeply comforting and deeply threatening at the same time.We talk about:why avoidant attachers often push away the very connection they desirethe fear of dependency, vulnerability, and losshow hyper-independence has disconnected many of us from healthy emotional reliancewhy intimacy is so much more than sexand how safe relationships can biologically reshape the way we experience love over timeThis is a raw and honest conversation about fear, closeness, healing, and learning how to slowly lean into intimacy despite the risk.Learn about 1:1 Attachment Coaching here.Get the Secure Self Kit here.

  5. 144

    Building Connection From Stability, Not Emotional Need

    Why do we crave connection so deeply… yet feel so unstable in relationships?In this episode, I dive into the difference between seeking love from emotional need versus a grounded, secure place within yourself. I share my personal journey—from feeling anxious, reactive, and lost in relationships to developing what I now call the Secure Self—and how this shift changed everything.We’ll explore how your past experiences shape your attachment patterns, why your needs aren’t the problem, and how self-sabotaging behaviors like overthinking, chasing, or shutting down are often driven by insecure parts of you trying to stay safe. Most importantly, I’ll walk you through practical ways to begin building emotional stability so you can show up in relationships without losing yourself.**Learn about Attachment Coaching with Jessica here.

  6. 143

    The Avoidant Experience: Love, Numbness & Inner Conflict With Bilnita Armstead

    In this episode, I sit down with Bilnita Armstead, a listener of the podcast, who shares her experience navigating a dismissive/fearful avoidant attachment style. We talk about how early relationship patterns, often learned from our parents, shaped her view of love and connection, and how getting hurt in relationships led her to become emotionally numb and avoidant. She opens up about the push-pull dynamic, feeling secure when single but deeply triggered in relationships, and the mental torment that can come with it—including overthinking, relationship OCD, and constantly questioning feelings. We also explore how things like intense butterflies, cheating as a coping mechanism, and black-and-white thinking played a role in her patterns. Most importantly, this conversation normalizes these experiences and highlights the shift into learning how to sit in the “gray space,” develop self-awareness, and begin showing yourself grace as you heal and move toward more secure ways of relating.

  7. 142

    The Attachment Rollercoaster: How to Feel Without Losing Control

    In this episode, we explore why love can feel like an emotional rollercoaster—full of intense highs and painful lows. You’ll learn how different attachment styles shape your reactions in relationships and, more importantly, how to stay grounded, self-regulate, and feel deeply without losing yourself in the process.Learn about 1-1 Attachment Coaching with Jessica here.

  8. 141

    Feeling Like You’re the Problem in an Anxious–Avoidant Relationship

    In this episode, we unpack why anxious attachers often feel like they’re “too much” in relationships — especially when paired with avoidants. I break down how this dynamic creates a distorted sense of responsibility, why you’re not actually the problem, and how unmet needs drive anxious expression. We’ll also cover how to find balance, when it’s time to walk away, and what both anxious and avoidant partners can do to create healthier, more secure connection. Work with Jessica 1-1 HERE.

  9. 140

    Anxious & Avoidant: The Intellectual Intimacy Trap

    In this episode, we explore the intellectual intimacy illusion — the trap many anxious and avoidant pairings fall into when deep conversations and shared ideas feel like emotional connection, but something essential is still missing. I unpack the difference between feeling mentally understood versus emotionally seen, why anxious and avoidant dynamics often bond through intellect, and how this can create confusion about real compatibility. I also share personal reflections from my own relationship experience and explain why insight alone isn’t enough to create emotional safety. If you’ve ever wondered why a connection felt so strong but still left you feeling unseen, this episode is for you.Book a free Clarity Call to learn about 1-1 Attachment Coaching with Jessica here.

  10. 139

    From Insight to Real Change in Attachment Patterns

    A grounded conversation about why insight alone doesn’t change attachment patterns, and how real healing happens through consistent, embodied action.Learn about 1-1 Attachment Coaching with Jessica here.

  11. 138

    Secure Dating vs. Survival Dating

    Modern dating is exhausting because most people are dating from nervous-system survival mode instead of from their Secure Self.In this episode, I break down the difference between survival dating and secure dating, why swipe culture keeps anxious and avoidant patterns alive, and what it actually looks like to date from clarity, safety, and self-trust.You’ll learn how to recognize when your attachment system is running the show, why chemistry alone can keep you stuck in burnout cycles, and practical ways to shift into values-led, regulated, secure dating — even in today’s dating landscape.Download Satya here.Learn about 1-1 Attachment Coaching with Jessica here.

  12. 137

    How Your Attachment Style Was Formed

    In this episode, we explore how your attachment style was formed and why you experience love the way you do. You’ll learn what emotional attunement is, how early connection shaped your nervous system, and why your patterns in relationships aren’t who you are—they’re adaptations. Learn about 1-1 attachment coaching with Jessica here.

  13. 136

    It Wasn’t The Avoidant: Healing The Parts That Made You Lose Yourself with Alix B. (Client Stories)

    In this episode, I sit down with a former coaching client to unpack the all-too-common experience of losing yourself in a relationship, especially when you have an anxious attachment style.We talk about what happens when you prioritize your partner over your own needs, slowly sideline your friendships, and stay committed to someone whose words say one thing but whose actions say another. She shares her journey of loving the “nice” avoidant (the kind who isn’t malicious, but deeply unavailable) and the painful uncertainty of realizing that even a kind partner may still be unable to meet your needs.Together, we explore how every relationship becomes a mirror for what you truly want, especially if you didn’t grow up with healthy role models… and how stepping into secure attachment requires both courage and accountability.She also shares the tools that helped her rebuild her confidence, navigate singlehood with empowerment, and finally create a relationship with herself that feels trusting, grounded, and whole.Learn about 1:1 Attachment Coaching with Jessica here.

  14. 135

    Six Habits of Securely Attached People (And How You Can Learn Them)

    Secure attachment isn’t something you’re born with, it’s something you can learn. Today, we’re walking through six habits that define secure individuals and how you can begin embodying them, no matter your starting point. If you’re craving healthier love, deeper self-trust, and emotional stability, this episode is your roadmap.Get 75% off the My Secure Self E-Course here. (Offer ends 11/30)Learn about 1:1 Attachment Coaching with Jessica here.

  15. 134

    When Abandonment Is Emotional, Not Physical

    Abandonment isn’t always about someone leaving. Sometimes, it’s about being unseen, unheard, or emotionally dismissed by the people closest to us. In this episode, I explore what emotional abandonment looks like, how it shapes our attachment style, and what we can do to begin healing from it.If you’re ready to break free from patterns of abandonment and feel secure within yourself and your relationships, you can learn about 1-1 Attachment Coaching with me here.

  16. 133

    Healing Your Attachment Through God with Gretchen Costanzo

    In this heartfelt episode, I sit down with Gretchen Costanzo, a certified integrative attachment coach and creator of the Living Connected Method, to talk about what it means to create a secure relationship with God — and how transformational that can be for your healing and relationships. We explore how God can become your steady rock, the connection between faith and secure attachment, and what it looks like to date from a place of spiritual security and emotional grounding.Whether you’re rebuilding your faith or curious about how your relationship with God shapes your attachment patterns, this conversation will meet you right where you are.Contact Gretchen:https://attachment.coach/[email protected] Coaching with Jessica:Book a free clarity call here@thejessicadasilva

  17. 132

    Passive vs. Rigid Anxious Attacher: Two Faces of Anxious Attachment

    Not all anxious attachers look the same. In this episode, I explore the Passive Anxious Attacher, who protects against loss by shrinking back, and the Rigid Anxious Attacher, who holds on tightly to feel secure. You’ll learn how to tell the difference, why both stem from the same fear of abandonment, and how to begin moving toward secure connection.💛 Learn more about my Attachment Coaching Services or book a free Clarity Call through the link here.

  18. 131

    Passive vs. Rigid Avoidant Attacher: Two Faces of Avoidant Attachment

    Not all avoidants look the same. In this episode, I break down the two common ways avoidant attachment shows up in relationships: the Passive Avoidant, who protects themselves by shrinking back, and the Rigid Avoidant, who protects themselves through control and high standards. You’ll learn how to spot the difference, why it matters, and how each can begin moving toward more secure and fulfilling relationships.Learn about Attachment Coaching with Jessica here.Instagram: @thejessicadasilvaClient Stories

  19. 130

    What Does Relationship Compatibility Really Mean?

    In this episode of Let’s Talk Attachments, we dive into what compatibility in relationships really means—and why it matters so much more than chemistry alone. I’ll break down how to recognize true alignment in core values, lifestyle choices, emotional needs, and long-term goals, and share practical ways anxious, avoidant, fearful-avoidant, and secure attachers can assess compatibility in their dating lives. Whether you’ve been swept up by sparks before or want to avoid repeating old patterns, this episode will help you slow down, see clearly, and choose relationships that actually support the love and life you want to build.*Learn about Attachment Coaching with Jessica here.

  20. 129

    Going Deep Too Soon vs. Secure Pacing in Dating

    Diving deep too quickly in dating can feel exciting, but it often creates premature emotional bonds that blur your judgment of compatibility. In this episode, I explore why anxious and fearful avoidant attachers are especially prone to oversharing, rushing intimacy, and confusing emotional closeness with true alignment. You’ll learn practical ways to pace yourself—so you can stay authentic while also assessing compatibility with clarity and balance.*Learn about 1:1 Attachment Coaching with Jessica here.

  21. 128

    How I Molded Myself to Be a Magnet for Avoidant Partners

    In this episode, I open up about how I subconsciously molded myself to attract avoidant partners and how that pattern was rooted in my earliest experiences of love. I share how I learned to appear “cool,” independent, and unattached in order to feel wanted, and why that left me feeling disconnected and unfulfilled in relationships.If you’ve ever found yourself downplaying your needs, pretending to be more “chill” than you are, or attracting people who can’t meet your emotional depth, this episode will help you reflect on those hidden patterns. My hope is that it gives you insight into your own subconscious motivations, clarity about how you’ve been showing up in love, and encouragement to realign with your authentic, secure self.* Learn about 1:1 Attachment Coaching with Jessica here.

  22. 127

    Thriving at Work Struggling in Love With Carly Ann

    Why is it that ambitious, successful women can thrive in their careers but feel lost in love?In this episode, Attachment Therapist and Coach Carly Ann joins me to explore the emotional disconnect that many high-achieving women experience in relationships.We dive into:How codependency is hardwired into our understanding of loveThe difference between caring for a partner vs. trying to fix or save themWhy the skills that make you successful at work can backfire in romanceHow scarcity thinking keeps you stuck in unsatisfying dynamicsShifting from anxiety to emotional responsibility in relationshipsUnderstanding overreactions, jealousy, and shame through the lens of attachment scienceIf you’ve ever wondered why you feel powerful in every area except your love life, this conversation is for you.

  23. 126

    Growing Pains of Becoming Securely Attached

    This week on the podcast, we’re talking about the growing pains of becoming securely attached.⁣It’s not just sunshine and inner peace—real healing requires honesty, self-responsibility, and often, some very uncomfortable shifts.Whether it’s walking away from misaligned connections, holding firmer boundaries, or realizing that peace is better than intensity… becoming secure means learning to trust yourself, even when it’s hard.⁣If you’ve been wondering why this healing journey feels so tough sometimes—this episode is for you. You’re not broken, you’re growing 💛*Learn about 1:1 Attachment Coaching with Jessica here.

  24. 125

    How Avoidant Attachment Can Lead to Selfish Tendencies

    We often talk about the emotional distance of avoidant attachers—but what if that “selfishness” is actually a protective coping mechanism?In this episode, I unpack how avoidant attachment can stem from emotional neglect and how hyper-independence becomes a substitute for unmet emotional needs. I share a personal story, common patterns I see in clients, and why adjusting expectations (on both sides) is key for healthy, interdependent relationships.Whether you’re dating someone avoidant or navigating your own avoidant patterns, this episode will help you better understand the “why” behind the behavior—and how to create more compassion and clarity in your relationships.*Learn about Attachment Coaching with Jessica HERE.

  25. 124

    How Anxious Attachment Can Lead to Selfish Tendencies

    What if some of your anxious attachment behaviors are actually rooted in…selfishness? Not because you don’t care—but because fear can make everything feel urgent and all about you.In this episode, I share my own hard truths, the rigid expectations I used to set, and how healing started when I finally saw the bigger picture.This one’s for anyone ready to trade “me-focused” survival patterns for truly secure connection. 💛Learn about Attachment Coaching with me HERE.

  26. 123

    How Avoidance Sabotaged My Dating Life and What I Did About It With Lexi Stout (Client Stories)

    Today on the podcast, we’re joined by Lexi Stout—a former coaching client who opens up about her journey of recognizing how her avoidant attachment style was impacting her dating life, and what she’s been doing to break old patterns and move toward healthy relationships.We dive into:How her avoidant attachment kept her stuck in unfulfilling situationshipsLearning to open her heart and receive loveBreaking the habit of hyper-independence and accepting supportConfronting her avoidance and becoming more assertive in communicationNavigating her first mature, secure relationship with confidenceTune in for a raw, relatable, and inspiring conversation about healing, self-awareness, and growth in love.*Learn about Attachment Coaching with Jessica here.

  27. 122

    What If Your Attachment Style Isn’t What You Thought?

    Ever taken an attachment quiz and thought, “Yup, I’m anxious”… only to find yourself totally avoidant once real intimacy kicks in? In this episode, I dive into why your feelings might say one thing, but your behaviors—especially under stress—reveal the real story. I’m sharing insights, patterns to look for, and a personal dating example that might sound all too familiar. Let’s untangle the truth together.Learn about attachment coaching with Jessica here.Instagram: @thejessicadasilva

  28. 121

    The Unspoken Pain of Avoidant Attachment

    In this episode, we explore the hidden struggles behind avoidant attachment through a candid conversation with someone who’s lived it.We discuss:🔹 Why he resisted change in past relationships — believing emotional distance was a strength🔹 How self-protection became self-disconnection🔹 The breakup that made him realize his avoidant patterns were the root cause🔹 Why avoidants do love deeply — and how fear keeps it buried🔹 Reconnecting to his emotional self and finding fulfilling love🔹 Closure for anyone hurt by someone with avoidant attachmentThis one is for anyone who’s struggled to love — or be loved — with a guarded heart.Learn about Attachment Coaching with Jessica HERE.

  29. 120

    What Dating Securely Has Taught Me

    In this personal episode, I take you behind the scenes of a recent dating experience that stirred up both growth and grief — and revealed just how far I’ve come on my attachment healing journey.As someone who used to operate from a fearful avoidant (leaning anxious) attachment style, I now move through dating with much more self-trust, clarity, and compassion. But that doesn’t mean the old patterns don’t still surface — especially when connection, chemistry, and unmet needs collide.I’ll walk you through how I navigated this dynamic from a secure place, the conversations I had, and ultimately, how I honored myself enough to walk away when alignment wasn’t there — even when it felt good in the moment.If you’ve ever struggled to balance attraction with long-term compatibility, or felt pulled between your heart and your values, this episode is for you.Takeaways include:The difference between chemistry and compatibilityHow to identify your unmet needs in real timeWhy even "kind and available" people might not be the right fitWhat it looks like to actually date from your secure selfHow to exit with integrity when your paths don’t align🎧 Plus: Only 2 more days to join the My Secure Self Membership for just $1 your first month! Get access to group coaching, monthly workshops, and tools to help you build secure, aligned relationships HERE.Looking for 1:1 support, learn more about attachment coaching here.

  30. 119

    Letting Go of Unavailable Love: Meghan’s Journey to Security (Client Stories)

    Today on the podcast, we’re joined by the lovely Meghan Gatto.Meghan went through the My Secure Self group coaching program this past summer with the goal of deepening her understanding of anxious attachment — and learning practical tools to break unhealthy relationship patterns.In this episode, we dive into:​Breaking the cycle of anxious attachment​Attraction to avoidant partners—and how to stop that​How your body signals when you’re in the wrong relationship​Approaching dating from a secure lens​Knowing your needs, raising your standards, and setting boundaries​And we finish off with my signature Secure Self visualization to help you shift from anxious to secure attachmentMy Secure Self Membership - Join for $1 today 🎉 1:1 Attachment Coaching

  31. 118

    Healing Anxious Attachment and Learning to Be Okay Alone With Joe Reilly (Client Stories)

    Today, I’m excited to introduce Joe Reilly, an incredible human and former coaching client of mine, who has been actively working to break his anxious attachment patterns and step into his secure self. We dive into:The challenges of anxious attachmentHis pattern of dating avoidant partners and where that inclination comes fromHealing through a recent breakupLearning to be okay with being aloneHow he’s been building a secure relationship with himself through this season so that he can be more intentional about his next partner, rather than make decisions from a place of scarcity or insecurity.If you’re looking for a heartfelt conversation about attachment, healing, and self-growth, this episode is for you.Contact Joe Reilly: www.joereilly.orgInstagram: @joereillymusicAttachment Coaching with Jessica:1-1 Attachment Coaching (8-weeks)My Secure Self E-Course

  32. 117

    How Your Attachment Style Affects Your Relationship to Money With Shamina Taylor

    If you’ve been listening to the podcast for a while, you know I love exploring how attachment styles impact all areas of life—not just relationships with people. Through my own healing work, I’ve noticed that as I became more secure and confident within myself, that same transformation began to reflect in my relationship with everything—including money!That’s why I invited Shamina Taylor, a former attorney turned Wealth Consciousness Mentor and author of the Amazon #1 Best Seller Unlocking The Quantum Woman, to share her expertise on:How attachment styles influence our relationship with moneyThe importance of wealth consciousnessUnderstanding masculine and feminine energy in making moneyHow a scarcity mindset—whether with people or money—keeps us stuck in insecure attachment patternsPractical tips to shift your attachment to money and open yourself to more abundanceFind Shamina:Daily CEO Money Making Moveswww.shaminataylor.comInstagram: @shaminataylorPodcast: Unapologetically RichAttachment Coaching with Jessica:1-1 Attachment Coaching (8-weeks)My Secure Self E-Course

  33. 116

    Commitment vs. Compatibility: Are You in the Right Relationship?

    In this episode, I explore the difference between commitment and compatibility, sharing my personal experience navigating these challenges in a past relationship. I also discuss how to recognize the distinction, helping you better assess whether you’re in the right relationship.Learn about attachment coaching with me here.

  34. 115

    Saying "No" to Emotional Unavailability and "Yes" to Secure Love With Sabrina Zohar

    Today on the podcast, I'm joined by dating coach Sabrina Zohar—best known for her transformative podcast, The Sabrina Zohar Show. She brings a no-nonsense, straightforward approach to relationship advice.In this episode, we discuss: Sabrina’s journey from anxious to secure attachment. The reality of managing anxiety—it doesn’t just disappear. The power of nervous system regulation for those with anxious attachment. How to spot emotional unavailability in dating. Low-effort vs. high-effort behaviors in dating & relationships. Key qualities to look for in a secure partnership.Tune in for insightful and actionable advice on building healthier relationships!Contact Sabrina Zohar:www.sabrinazohar.comInstagram: @thesabrinazoharshowPodcast: The Sabrina Zohar ShowTikTok: Sabrina.zoharYoutube: Sabrina ZoharWork With Jessica:1:1 Attachment Coaching with Jessica HEREMy Secure Self E-Course (Self-Study)Instagram: @thejessicadasilva

  35. 114

    Embracing The Messy, Non-Linear Path of Grief With Melina Charis

    Today on the podcast we have Melina Charis. She is a writer and mentor for women moving through grief and heartbreak. She has 10+ years experience with ceremonial + somatic healing practices and 6+ years experience holding space for others, but her greatest teachers by far have been motherhood, death, grief and life itself.We cover:Grieving breakups, death, identity shifts, and more.How unprocessed grief manifests in daily life.The ways grief can resurface years later.Understanding that grief is an ongoing process.What it truly means to process grief.Different healing approaches and ways to move through grief.*Find Melina’s offerings at melinacharis.com and read her writing at [/14b27051b990809ab0a4e21d62ab80a3?pvs=25]melinacharis.substack.com.*Learn about attachment Coaching with JessicaHERE.

  36. 113

    1-Year Breakup Update: A Personal Reflection

    If you've been following my breakup journey, I wanted to share an update on my healing process now that it's been 1 year. My hope is that this gives you insight into the grief cycle, the messiness of healing, and reassurance that things do get better.Work With Me : Attachment Coaching - ⁠CLICK HERE⁠Previous recorded break-up updates:- Recovering From Heartbreak - 8 Month Update (Through a Secure Lens)- Recovering From Heartbreak - (Through a Secure Lens) Almost 6 Month Update-To Stay or Breakup - Leaving My Relationship of 6 Years

  37. 112

    Is It Them or Me? Separating My Avoidant Fears With Randy Hamama (Client Stories)

    In today’s episode, former client and dismissive avoidant attacher Randy Hamama shares his journey of navigating insecurities in a new relationship. He discusses common avoidant struggles, such as discerning fears from authentic desires, staying present when the urge to withdraw arises, identifying what makes a partner feel safe for avoidants, and understanding when it’s worth staying with an avoidant partner or when it’s time to walk away. Whether you have an avoidant attachment style or are in a relationship with someone who does, this conversation offers valuable insights and practical takeaways. Learn about attachment coaching with Jessica here.

  38. 111

    How Our Attachment Style Influences Our Relationship to Food and our Body With Vanessa Scaringi and Kathryn Garland

    Today on the podcast, Vanessa Scaringi, PhD, CEDS-C, a licensed psychologist and certified eating disorder specialist supervisor, and Kathryn Garland, LCSW-S, CEDS-C, a clinical social worker and certified eating disorder specialist supervisor, discuss: How attachment styles influence our relationship with our body and eating habits How different attachment styles may experience eating disorders The impact of early relational experiences on eating behaviors Tools to heal and rebuild a positive relationship with your body And so much more! Vanessa and both co-own a group practice Calm Counseling in Austin Texas that specializes in the treatment of disordered eating and body image issues.  Contact Vanessa and Kathryn: www.keepcalmtx.com Instagram: @calmcounselingatx Work with Jessica: www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com Instagram: @thejessicadasilvacoaching

  39. 110

    From Heartbreak to Finding Love With Hannah Flynn (Client Stories)

    In today's episode, the wonderful Hannah Flynn, a former client of mine, shares her journey of navigating her avoidant attachment style, overcoming deception and heartbreak, and ultimately finding healthy, secure love. We discuss: The challenges of communication with an avoidant attachment style. The importance of addressing conflict rather than avoiding it to maintain peace. The pain of being deceived in a trusted relationship. Learning your relationship needs and desires through trial and error. The journey to finding love again. Learn about Attachment Coaching with Jessica here.

  40. 109

    Getting Attached to Things Outside of Our Relationships (Personal Share)

    I had a revelation recently with a big life change. I noticed similar insecure ways of thinking and feeling surface that resembled how I used to feel in unhealthy relationship dynamics. The goal with this episode is to help you reflect on how you may be "insecurely attaching" to things outside of your relationships, such as your home, belongings, items, routines, goals, dreams, by highlighting similar attachment patterns that could be harming you rather than helping you. Most importantly, how to shift your approach! ATTACHMENT COACHING WITH ME: Book a free clarity call here. www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com [email protected]

  41. 108

    Redefining Your Perspective on Needs With Chris Rackliffe

    Today on the podcast we have Chris Rackliffe, also known as @crackliffe. He is a trauma healer, mental health advocate, anxious attachment style coach, and author of the new self-help book, Needy No More: The Journey From Anxious to Secure Attachment—available exclusively on Amazon beginning November 19, 2024. Chris has worked with countless clients across five continents to help them heal their anxious attachment style and grow more secure, sharing everything he’s learned on his own healing journey—from how to integrate trauma and regulate the nervous system, to how to effectively communicate and set boundaries. With a B.S. in Psychology from the University of Miami—and an honorary Ph.D. in the “School of Life”—Chris has made it his sole purpose to help others find peace, perspective, purpose, and power through their trauma. We discuss: -Why it's important to know your needs for relationship health and satisfaction. -How to identify and meet your needs. -How to measure if your needs are being met within your relationship. -Creating a balanced approach of give and take. -When to stay or leave your relationship. Contact and work with Chris: Check his my website and TikTok! Get your copy of his first book, It's Good to See Me Again, on Amazon now. Contact and work with Jessica: 10 Week Attachment Coaching Instagram: @thejessicadasilva [email protected]

  42. 107

    Somatic Experiencing for Healing Attachment Wounds With Lisa May Francisco

    Today on the podcast we have Lisa May Francisco who is a first-generation Filipino women’s empowerment coach, Kundalini yoga teacher, EFT practitioner, and host of the Sacred Femme Alchemy podcast. She leads women to bust through their emotional blocks, reclaim unshakable self-worth, and unleash their wild, authentic selves through potent spiritual coaching and transformative practices. We talk about:-The benefits of using somatic techniques to address our attachment challenges.-A guided EFT session for anxiety.-Retraining our nervous system for secure attachment.CONTACT LISA: Free 45-min EFT coaching session - https://calendly.com/sacredfemmealchemy/free-eft-sessionSacred Femme Alchemy PodcastInstagram: @sacredfemmealchemyWork with Lisa CONTACT JESSICA:1-1 Attachment Coaching - https://www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com/coach-with-me-2Instagram: @thejessicadasilva

  43. 106

    Identifying Subtle Signs of Dismissiveness in Your Partner and It’s Impact on Your Well-Being

    In this episode, I discuss identifying subtle forms of dismissiveness in a partner and its impact on our well-being from a personal and general perspective. It's easy to overlook milder forms of rejection, especially if we consider our loved ones "good people." But if we don't become aware of these troubling mild behaviors, they can perpetuate our feelings of disconnection and insecurity within our relationships, leaving us confused.1-1 Attachment Coaching with Jessica:https://www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com/coach-with-me-2

  44. 105

    How to Connect to Your Authentic (Secure) Self With Rebecca Haddock (Client Stories)

    Today on the podcast, we have a special guest: Rebecca Haddock. She is a badass businesswoman, scientist, inventor, and president of her company, Equitape. Rebecca is also a former client of mine who originally came to me seeking support in breaking her unhealthy attachment patterns, specifically tendencies associated with avoidant attachment.In this episode, we talk about…-Typical relationship challenges for those of us with an avoidant attachment style.-How attachment science can help us understand our relationship patterns (specifically those toxic or unhealthy ones that we just tend to keep re-creating in our lives).-The importance of separating chemistry versus compatibility for long-term relationship satisfaction.-Conscious dating and how empowering that process can be when we have this attachment insight.-The importance of knowing your values and needs so that you make wiser relationship decisions.-And most importantly, connecting to your authentic (aka secure self) for true personal and relational fulfillment.Book a free Clarity Call with Jessica to learn about Attachment Coaching: https://calendly.com/attachmentcoaching/20minute

  45. 104

    How Our Attachment Styles Affect Our Break-Ups With Lucy Price

    On this podcast the podcast we have Lucy Price. Lucy is a breakup and relationship coach who helps individuals heal from heartbreak, get over their exes, and create fulfilling lives. Lucy specializes in guiding clients through the emotional challenges of breakups, teaching self-love, and helping them rebuild confidence and clarity for the future. We talk about: -How our attachment styles are reflected in a breakup. -How to navigate a breakup depending on our attachment tendencies. -Going no contact and is that the best move? -Filling the void when we are feeling lonely. -When its time to start dating again or enter a new relationship. -Tools on how to get over your ex, heal from the heartbreak, and move forward in the most empowering way… And so much more—Including intimate details about our own break up journeys. Attachment Coaching With Jessica: My secure Self (3 month Group Coaching Program)  One-on-one Attachment Coaching www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com @thejessicadasilva Contact Lucy Price: IG: @lucy.m.price TikTok: @lucy.m.price Website: www.shiftyourstory.net  Podcast: Breakups and Breakthroughs

  46. 103

    An Inside Look into the Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Mind With Licensed Therapist Patch McCormick

    Today on the podcast, we have Patch McCormick, a former ad man turned relationship therapist for men, couples, and groups. Individually, he helps men earn secure attachment with a combination of IFS, EMDR, CBT, and various somatic tools. He's incredibly passionate about teaching assertiveness and how to build confidence. Patch was bold enough to agree to come onto my podcast and share his personal experience with having a dismissive avoidant attachment style and his process over the years to becoming more secure. We talk about:-How our hypermasculine society reinforces the dismissive avoidant attachment style characteristics and behaviors.-The importance of normalizing male emotionality.-Common dismissive avoidant fears hindering them from commitment.-What makes a “safe partner” and motivates them to change.-Debunking the misconception that dismissive avoidants don't have feelings and don't want relationships.-Why avoidants are subconsciously attracted to anxious attachers (and vice versa).-How avoidant and anxious attachers can actually serve as catalysts for each others individual growth and healing.-How to best determine when to stay or leave your relationship with an avoidant attacher.-Strategies Patch has used to overcome his avoidant attachment style and earn secure attachment.Contact Patch:www.talktopatch.comInstagram: @talktopatchAttachment Coaching with Jessica:One-on-one Coaching (10 weeks)My Secure Self Group Coaching (12 weeks)Email: [email protected]

  47. 102

    Recovering From Heartbreak - 8 Month Update (Through a Secure Lens)

    I wanted to share an update on my break-up recovery process, as I know many of you have found comfort in hearing about my experience, understanding you're not alone and finding ways to navigate the challenges through a secure approach. In this episode I share: -How I've been feeling after 8 months post break-up. -How I've been navigating the 5 stages of grief and it's natural highs and lows. -Entering the dating app world! -Opening myself up to new experiences (and people). -Navigating my fearful avoidant and anxious attachment tendencies as they surface while dating. Work with me: ⁠My Secure Self Group Coaching (3 month)⁠ ⁠1-1 Attachment Coaching (10 weeks)⁠

  48. 101

    How to Not "Attach" Quickly When Dating

    Learn why you may attach quickly and intensely to people in the early stages of dating, as well as how to take more of a detached approach to lessen the anxiety and stress you experience when others aren't consistent or pull away. MY SECURE SELF GROUP COACHING PROGRAM (3 MONTHS) 1:1 ATTACHMENT COACHING (10 WEEKS) Contact Me: [email protected]

  49. 100

    A Males Perspective on Having an Anxious Attachment Style With Jason Berry

    Today on the podcast, we have Jason Berry. He is a podcaster, entrepreneur, and amateur Hyrax athlete. A few months ago, I was a guest speaker on his podcast @awakenoutofcontext, where we discussed attachment styles. I loved his vulnerability and personal insights so much that I invited him onto my podcast to talk more about his experience with having an anxious attachment style. In this episode, he shares: -A male's perspective on having an anxious attachment style. -Dating as an anxious attacher. -The anxious attachments' natural inclination and attraction to people with an avoidant attachment style. -His experience with shifting from anxious to avoidant attachment after heartbreak. -How alcohol exacerbated his insecurities as an anxious attachment style. -How he better navigates his insecurities as someone who aims to be more secure. Find Jason here: linktr.ee/awakenoutofjason Instagram: @awakenoutofjason Attachment Coaching with Jessica: www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com

  50. 99

    The Attachment Styles and Taking Things Personally

    If you have an anxious, dismissive avoidant, or fearful avoidant attachment style, it’s most likely you are self-conscious and therefore take things personally. This can be problematic as we can distort the reality of a situation and therefore engage in self-sabotaging behaviors. In this episode, I share how each insecure attachment style takes things personally, the implications, and how to stop. ——— My Secure Self Group Coaching Program: https://jessicadasilva.mykajabi.com/my-secure-self-case-study

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ABOUT THIS SHOW

I’m Jessica Da Silva—a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Attachment Coach, and author—here to help you transform the way you experience love through practical, relatable insight. Along with breaking down attachment styles in an easy-to-understand way, I share my own personal journey of moving toward secure attachment, real client stories, conversations with guest experts, and tools you can use to heal and create healthier relationships.Coaching: https://jessicadasilvacoaching.com/Instagram: @thejessicadasilvaTiktok: @jessicadasilvacoachingEmail: [email protected]

HOSTED BY

Jessica Da Silva, LMFT

Frequently Asked Questions

How many episodes does LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS have?

LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS currently has 50 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.

What is LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS about?

I’m Jessica Da Silva—a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Attachment Coach, and author—here to help you transform the way you experience love through practical, relatable insight. Along with breaking down attachment styles in an easy-to-understand way, I share my own personal journey of moving...

How often does LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS release new episodes?

LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS has 50 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.

Where can I listen to LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS?

You can listen to LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.

Who hosts LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS?

LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS is created and hosted by Jessica Da Silva, LMFT.
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