EPISODE · Oct 5, 2020 · 14 MIN
How do I know I'm ready to change?
from Thrive Beyond Pornography · host Zach Spafford
zachspafford.com/freecallHow can I tell that I’m ready to change?Costs outweigh the benefits. - Buffering provides something- Acknowledge those benefits.- How do you want to feel when you think about pornography- “Client said, I want to feel disgusted.”- That doesn’t acknowledge what pornography has done for you- - That also doesn’t acknowledge what it is costing you- It is just a judgement that makes you feel disgusted because you like pornography- So, honestly acknowledging the costs and the benefits of use will allow you to make the cost benefit analysis - Wanting vs commitment- For the better part of 25 years I wanted pornography out of my life. - I pleaded with Heavenly Father to take this problem away from me- For lots of years it was just a want, the way a little girl wants a pony. - I would ask and think that I just deserved it because I asked for it. - . - It wasn’t until after we got married and Darcy found out about my pornography use that I really got committed. - It wasn’t until it was costing me my self confidence and I was desperate to stop feeling like a terrible person who was never going to get rid of this problem that I started to take action. - I started with bishops, who were great and loved me. - They didn’t have the answers, they were there for me to confess but not to give me tools. - They sent me to counselors who were there to hear where I was and witness my struggle and validate my feelings, but didn’t have any answers, didn’t have any real world idea of how I was doing and why I was where I was. - They just told me I was an addict. - So that lead me to the twelve steps… which was full of earnest men, trying to move forward with their lives. - but that time only served to reinforce that I was “powerless against my addiction”- - - Then when we had the twins, I took a step back. I saw that none of this had gotten me where I wanted to go.- So I committed to figure it out by looking into my own mind, true principles that I could see from a gospel perspective and all the things I learned that made sense from what I had done before. - - This is what being committed looks like. - Trying.- Trying again, - Trying something new- Trying something different- Trying anything I hadn’t tried...
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How do I know I'm ready to change?
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