“How Do I Navigate Relapse?” - Understanding the Cycle of Change

Send us Fan MailEpisode 46: How Do I Navigate Relapse? - Understanding the Cycle of ChangeRelapse is one of the most feared words in a family’s recovery vocabulary. It shatters trust, reignites fear, and leaves everyone asking the same desperate question: Why would they go back after everything they’ve been through? In this raw and revealing episode of the Get Unhooked Podcast, Jason Coombs pulls back the curtain on his own relapse story and reframes how families can respond when their loved one stumbles. The answer is not panic. It’s not control. It’s surrender, and it looks nothing like giving up.Episode Highlights[01:00] Jason introduces the topic: How do I navigate relapse?[02:25] Jason recounts his personal history of loss, homelessness, failed rehabs, and incarceration[03:24] The drug court graduation that ended with a devastating relapse in Wendover, Nevada[05:14] How the removal of external motivation exposed the power of the addict voice[07:26] The escalation from one Long Island iced tea to cocaine, debt, and a violent confrontation with a dealer[09:39] A participant shares her perspective on surrender and “making friends with the worst case scenario”[11:14] Why behaviors don’t always mirror someone’s true stage of change[13:19] Jason reads from his book Unhooked on the cycle of relapse and shame[16:32] The story of Grace: how a holiday relapse became a springboard to lasting action[22:14] Relapse, ambivalence, and the deep identity ties to substance use[25:29] Applying recovery principles as a family member and advocate[28:30] Introduction to the seven steps of surrender[30:11] Why surrender is hopeful, not hopelessThe Day External Motivation DisappearedJason opens this episode with a story that most families will recognize in some form. He had done the hard thing. He completed drug court. His felonies were reduced to misdemeanors. His parents took him to lunch, gave him gifts, told him they were proud. By every external measure, he had made it.Then a coworker invited him to celebrate in Wendover, Nevada. One Long Island iced tea seemed harmless. He never really got in trouble for alcohol, after all. But the drink triggered what he describes as an allergic reaction, both physiological and mental. That single drink ignited a craving that ended the night with a thousand dollars gone, a club ejection for disorderly conduct, and a cocaine binge. By the next morning, shame had already begun feeding the cycle again.What Jason wants families to understand is this: the promises were real. The commitment was genuine. But when external motivation lifted and internal ambivalence remained, the disease found its opening. Families often smack their foreheads and ask, What were you thinking? The honest answer is that thinking had very little to do with it.Why Relapse Happens and What It Actually MeansJason leans on Dr. Prochaska’s stages of change to explain that relapse is not a return to square one. It is most often one step backward in order to take two steps forward. The spiral model of change shows that contemplation, preparation, and action typically follow a relapse rather than disappearing because of it.This is where families can breathe. A relapse does not erase progress. It reveals where ambivalence still lives.Jason shares the story of a client named Grace, a 37-year-old mother who walked into his office before the holidays and asked to pause treatment so she could drink guilt-free through Christmas. Instead of lecturing her, Jason used motivational interviewing. He reflected her words back to her. He asked open-ended questions. He gave her space to sit with her own reasoning. Grace left that session committed to sobriety, but the next morning she drove to the liquor store and drank herSupport the showJoin Jason Coombs LIVE each week for tips and tricks and LIVE Q&A’s. Go to https://www.liveunhooked.com/live-unhooked. For information about treatment services visit https://www.brickhouserecovery.com/For more information about Warrior Heart Bootcamp for men visit www.awarriorheart.comhttps://awarriorheart.com/$100 DISCOUNT CODE for Warrior Heart = 2026Brick100To learn more about the women’s retreat, Heart of a Woman: https://theheartofawoman.net/$100 DISCOUNT CODE for Heart of a Woman = 2026Brick100