How Inner Work Changes the Way We Love with Laurie Proctor

In this episode, host Patria Rector welcomes coach, Internal Family Systems practitioner, and Enneagram instructor Laurie Proctor for a thoughtful conversation about how inner work reshapes the way we love.Love is often spoken about as a feeling or an ideal, but in real life it is shaped by the stories we carry, the wounds we’ve experienced, and the patterns we developed to survive them. When those patterns remain unexamined, love can easily become reactive—expressed through control, withdrawal, defensiveness, or over-functioning. Drawing from Internal Family Systems, the Enneagram, and their own lived experiences, Patria and Laurie explore the idea that true transformation begins within.As we become more aware of the different “parts” of ourselves and the survival strategies they carry, we can begin to move toward what IFS calls Self-energy—a grounded, compassionate presence that allows us to respond with curiosity rather than fear. Instead of trying to fix or eliminate the parts of ourselves shaped by pain, the invitation is to meet them with understanding and integration. As this inner work unfolds, our relationships begin to change as well.Love becomes less about reaction and more about presence, empathy, and connection. In this episode, we exploreHow our personal stories shape the way we loveThe difference between reacting from wounded parts and responding from Self-energyInternal Family Systems and the language of “parts”How trauma and survival strategies influence relationshipsWhy integration—not perfection—is the path toward deeper connectionThe role of compassion and curiosity in personal healingAbout the GuestLaurie Proctor is a professionally certified coach, Internal Family Systems practitioner, Human Design coach, and certified Enneagram instructor who partners with individuals, teams, and organizations seeking healing and transformation. She is the founder of SOWThat (Self Others World), where her work centers on the belief that healing begins within and ripples outward to others and the world. Laurie holds multiple certificates in narrative-focused trauma care from The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology and is passionate about helping people discover the treasures within that can change their lives—and the world.Learn more about her work at sowthat.com. If this episode resonates with you, follow or subscribe to Echoes and Edges on your favorite podcast platform, leave a five-star review, and share with a friend who might need a gentle invitation to self-understanding.Connect With PatriaFacebookInstagramThe Broken & Beautiful WebsiteCredits:Echoes and Edges is Produced and Edited by: Stephen R. SandersMusic Promoted by EnvatoEchoes and Edges is a part of VividLivid Podcast Network - Where bruises speak and healing finds its voice.