How Shame Impacts Intimacy with Aleksandra Trkulja

What if pleasure is not about learning new techniques, but learning how to feel safe in your body?In this episode, Ailey sits down with sex therapist and sexologist Aleksandra Trkulja to explore the connection between body image, nervous system regulation, and intimacy. Together, they unpack why shame, self criticism, and disconnection from the body can create real barriers to pleasure, arousal, and desire.Aleks shares insights from her work in eating disorder recovery and explains how control can begin to feel like safety. The conversation also explores the fawn response in sex, the difference between compliance and consent, and why learning your body’s subtle signals can transform the way you relate to intimacy.From there, Ailey and Aleks move into practical ways to reconnect with desire, beginning outside the bedroom through everyday experiences of pleasure, sensation, and preference. They also discuss co regulation, trauma informed pacing, and the role the nervous system plays in connection and sexuality.If you have ever felt disconnected from your body or unsure how to access pleasure in an embodied way, this conversation offers a compassionate and grounded place to begin.In this episode:4:41 Why Body Hate Blocks Pleasure 11:01Eating Disorders And False Control17:08 Body Image Patterns In Sex20:53 Shame Based Messages About Sex28:03 Desire As A Relearned Skill34:15 Trauma Informed Safety And Pace40:22 Co Regulation In Intimacy45:19 Curiosity Over ShameYou can read the full transcript hereLearn more about Ailey Jolie:Find: WebsiteFollow: InstagramExplore: SubstackExperience: Insight TimerSign up: InBodyMethodEmail: [email protected] follow along with the In This Body podcast:Follow: InstagramFind: WebsiteEmail: [email protected]