How to Be Selfish: A Guide for People Pleasers and Boundary Setting

FULL RETREAT DETAILS HERE If what Suzy shares resonates, she’ll be running a two-hour self-advocacy workshop at my Spring Retreat at Wilderness Reserve, Suffolk from 6-9 March 2026. Susie’s session alone will be genuinely life-changing - especially if you’re ready to stop people-pleasing and start living in a way that includes you too. Suzy Reading returns to the podcast to unpack her new book How to Be Selfish - a powerful reframe of selfishness as self-advocacy, self-trust and learning to live like you matter too.This conversation is for the women who:feel selfish for restingstruggle to say noautomatically apologise (even when they’ve done nothing wrong)find it hard to receive support, compliments or kindnesslook successful on the outside, but feel stretched and dysregulated underneathKey themes we coverWhy “selfish” isn’t the real problem - shame and guilt areHow women are conditioned to be the good girl (pleasant, compliant, endlessly available)The “pandemic of not enoughness” - and why it’s not a personal failingHow modern culture twists resilience into hyper-independenceWhy learning to receive is essential for healthy relationships (not a burden)How to advocate for yourself without becoming cold or uncaringWhy confidence isn’t just mindset - it’s head, heart and bodySuzy’s 7 steps to self-advocacy (from the book)Reclaim your mind - unpick limiting beliefs and shift from thoughts to self-talkReclaim your senses - take back control of attention and reduce overwhelmReclaim your body - regulate the nervous system so it feels safe to speak upReclaim your right to feel - emotions aren’t “negative”, they’re informationReclaim your moral compass - clarify values and what actually matters to youBoundaries with self - sleep, habits, energy, and keeping promises to yourselfAdvocate with others - communicate needs clearly and receive supportTools you can try today (simple, but powerful)Hand on heart + sip of tea/waterAsk: Where am I at? What do I need?Then do one small thing to meet that need.Somatic holds (circuit breakers for stress):hold one thumbhold your own handgive yourself a hugthe “face hug” - warm your hands, cradle your chin, breathePosture reset for confidenceWhen we’re collapsed forward, it’s harder to say no.Try shoulder rolls or “V to W” arms while breathing.A gentle reminderYou don’t need to wait until you feel worthy to take care of yourself.The feeling of worth often comes from the nourishing action.If you like what you hear... buymeacoffee.com/alexsimmsInsta:@cancercuredmeRetreats: @lalalovesretreatswww.lalaloves.comCLICK HERE TO JOIN MY COTSWOLDS RETREAT CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP FOR THE HAPPY MONDAY TO RECEIVE EXCLUSIVE DISCOUNTS & NEWS Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.