How to be the best grandparent

Being a grandparent is a wonderful role. All care and no responsibility, as the saying goes. But these days many grandparents are involved in helping raise their grandchildren, to support working parents. Dr Tessa Grigg is the co-author of a new book for grandparents - a guide to helping bring up well rounded, emotionally balanced grandchildren - even if you only look after them a few hours a week. It's called Grandparenting Grandchildren: new knowledge and know-how for grandparenting the under 5s.Many grandparents are involved in helping raise their grandchildren to support working parents. Dr Tessa Grigg is the co-author of a new book for grandparents - a guide to helping bring up well rounded, emotionally balanced grandchildren - even if you only look after them a few hours a week.It's called Grandparenting Grandchildren: new knowledge and know-how for grandparenting the under 5s. Listen to the full interviewGrigg says she and co-author Joan Williams acknowledge a lot of grandparents naturally have the know-how for dealing with children, but times have also changed.For instance, it's important to talk with your own children (the parents) about acceptable ways of modifying behaviour, she says."We know more about how to manage children, and I think that grandparents can certainly learn those ways."I think it's about people understanding why hitting is not a successful technique and we've got a whole section about alternatives to smacking."Another change of the times means sugary treats shouldn't be all that defines a visit to the grandparents, she says."I think that there are alternatives that people have worked out, that are still treats but maybe not quite so full of sugar. "I think it's about finding a balance and not saying no, you can't have any sweets but just make that that's not all they eat when they're at grandma's ."Griggs also understands the inclination to leave all the disciplining for parents and just have fun, but says often the line between grandparenting and parenting blur."I think what happens these days is that quite often grandparents are more involved and so therefore the children, it's kind of more of a normal life as opposed to just a treat with grandma. "Even if you're not a full-time parent of your grandchildren, take time to spend time with them so that you build these relationships and provide them the richness of what you can provide. "I think what children really want more than anything is time, and if you have the luxury of having more time with your grandchildren that's just precious, particularly under five ." …Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details