How To Be The Emotionally Safe Co-Parent: Expert Advice From Dr. Erika Velez

What if the most important skill your child could learn after divorce isn’t resilience, but emotional literacy? In this powerful and heartfelt episode, Michelle Dempsey-Multack sits down with clinical psychologist Dr. Erika Vélez to unpack how divorce impacts a child’s emotional world and why social-emotional learning is not optional; it’s essential. Together, they explore how parents can help children name their emotions, navigate co-parenting challenges, and break generational cycles of silence and shame. What You’ll Learn: Why social-emotional learning is a critical skill for kids navigating divorce How to help your child express and regulate emotions safely What emotional modeling looks like, and how to do it without oversharing How to stay grounded when you’re the “emotionally safe” parent Why validation, repair, and self-compassion are stronger than perfection Episode Highlights: 00:00 – The truth about children’s emotional needs during divorce 05:32 – Why social-emotional skills matter more than ever in modern parenting 11:05 – How parents unknowingly invalidate their child’s emotions 17:24 – Modeling healthy emotional regulation (without burdening your kids) 22:40 – The pressure of being the only emotionally grounded co-parent 29:10 – What to do when your co-parent doesn’t “get it” 36:45 – Repairing ruptures: How to own mistakes and reconnect with your child 42:10 – The one rule that protects your child’s future: Love your child more than you hate your ex Meet the Guest: Dr. Erika Vélez is a licensed psychologist, founder of The Mindful Corner, and an expert in emotional literacy and conscious parenting. She helps families, teens, and co-parents navigate the psychological challenges of divorce with empathy, structure, and evidence-based tools for emotional regulation. Tools, Frameworks, or Strategies Mentioned: The Feelings Wheel – A tool to help children name complex emotions beyond “sad” or “angry.” Love and Limits Framework – The balance of empathy and accountability in effective parenting. Emotional Repair Model – How to return to difficult conversations to rebuild safety and trust. Closing Insight: "We can’t be the tour guide to a place we’ve never been." — Dr. Erika Vélez Parenting after divorce starts with your own emotional awareness. When you model authenticity, validation, and repair, you give your child lifelong tools to thrive, no matter how difficult the circumstances. Join The Moving On Collective! A safe, judgment-free support group experience for divorced and divorcing parents: https://bit.ly/MichelleCommunity Learn from Michelle how to navigate divorce & co-parenting: https://bit.ly/MDMPodStore Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TheMichelleDempsey Website - https://michelledempsey.com/ Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/michelle645 TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@themichelledempsey1 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mldempsey/ LINK TO TRANSCRIPT: https://transcripts/moving-on-method-ep269-social-emotional-learning-in-divorce Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices