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May 26, 2026 32 min

How To Connect With An Audience

from How To! with Mike Pesca Hosted by Charles Duhigg

Guitarist and orchestrator Dillon Kondor knows his way around a stage. It's everything in between the songs that trips him up. Speaking to a crowd, filling the silence, not coming off stiff or defensive, that's where his confidence disappears. After too many gigs derailed by awkward pauses and self-protective sarcasm, Dylan reaches out to Mike for help. On this episode of How To!, Mike brings in the perfect guide: singer-songwriter Sharon Van Etten, who knows firsthand what it's like to freeze in front of an audience. Sharon opens up about her own early battles with social anxiety and makes the case that great stage presence has nothing to do with rehearsed jokes or arena-ready charisma. She walks Dylan through how to think about a crowd, not as people to impress, but as friends you're about to grab a drink with, and shares practical strategies for pacing a set list, turning nervous energy into something the audience can feel good about, and letting go of the armor that self-deprecation can become. Then fast-forward to 2026 to check back in with Dylan and find out how those lessons on connection and worthiness actually changed his relationship with performing. Executive Producer Corey Wara Edited by Geoff Craig Booking by Ben Astaire Do you have a burning question or a problem you need help with? Email us at [email protected] and we will consider your topic for the show. For full Pesca content and updates, check out our website at https://www.mikepesca.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To receive ad-free content, become a Pesca Plus subscriber at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://subscribe.mikepesca.com/ For Mike's daily takes on Substack, subscribe to The Gist List https://mikepesca.substack.com/ Follow us on Social Media:⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pescagist/ X https://x.com/pescami YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pescagist⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pescagist To advertise on the show, contact ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠ or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://advertising.libsyn.com/howto

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This episode was published on May 26, 2026.

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