How To! with Mike Pesca

To move or not to move? That is the question for Tiffani. She is desperate to get out of her hometown in rural Oregon and find a place with affordable housing, better dating prospects, and a ballroom dance studio nearby… or at least a P.F. Chang's closer than a four hour drive away. The problem? Her preferred destination would mean moving clear across the country. On this episode of How To!, decision coach Nell McShane Wulfhart sits down with Tiffani and helps her make this life-changing decision in under 60 minutes. It's true! Nell shows us how we can all uncover what we truly want and then write ourselves permission slips to actually pursue it. If you liked this episode, check out: "How To Have Happy Regrets." Executive Producer Corey Wara Edited by Geoff Craig Booking by Ben Astaire Do you have a burning question or a problem you need help with? Email us at [email protected] and we will consider your topic for the show. For full Pesca content and updates, check out our website at https://www.mikepesca.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To receive ad-free content, become a Pesca Plus subscriber at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://subscribe.mikepesca.com/ For Mike's daily takes on Substack, subscribe to The Gist List https://mikepesca.substack.com/ Follow us on Social Media:⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pescagist/ X https://x.com/pescami YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pescagist⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pescagist To advertise on the show, contact ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠ or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://advertising.libsyn.com/howto

Brett has spent her career in foreign policy — shaping strategy, advising governments, moving pieces on a board whose outcomes she may never live to fully see. It's meaningful work. It just never feels finished. So she's started thinking about a different kind of problem: the kind with a beginning, a middle, and an answer. Oh, also, and these mysteries keep presenting themselves in her workplace, and Brett loves mysteries! On this episode of How To!, Mike brings on Christian, a private investigator to talk through the realities of being a PI. He walks Brett through the subtle art of "elicitation," the unglamorous realities of tailing cars and tracing skips, and why cracking a case in the real world is less about lurking in shadows and more about being the kind of person people want to talk to. Executive Producer Corey Wara Edited by Geoff Craig Booking by Ben Astaire Do you have a burning question or a problem you need help with? Email us at [email protected] and we will consider your topic for the show. For full Pesca content and updates, check out our website at https://www.mikepesca.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To receive ad-free content, become a Pesca Plus subscriber at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://subscribe.mikepesca.com/ For Mike's daily takes on Substack, subscribe to The Gist List https://mikepesca.substack.com/ Follow us on Social Media:⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pescagist/ X https://x.com/pescami YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pescagist⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pescagist To advertise on the show, contact ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠ or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://advertising.libsyn.com/howto

Living with a cat often feels like a game of high-stakes interpretation, especially when an 18-pound Maine Coon is performing a 4:30 AM tap dance on your head. Today on How To!, Mike Pesca is joined by cat owner Steve, who shares the reality of navigating the vocal demands of his feline companions, Mr. Bad and Vincent Then, cat behavior consultant Dr. Mikel Delgado steps in to debunk the "alpha" dominance myth and the false promise of AI-powered cat translators, explaining how felines actually use subtle body language and house-specific "dialects" to communicate with and occasionally exploit their human caretakers. Delgado offers a scientific look at the "mouse bouche" caloric needs of a predator and provides actionable strategies to help owners reclaim their sleep and treat their cats like the solitary hunters they truly are. Executive Producer Corey Wara Edited by Geoff Craig Booking by Ben Astaire Do you have a burning question or a problem you need help with? Email us at [email protected] and we will consider your topic for the show. For full Pesca content and updates, check out our website at https://www.mikepesca.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To receive ad-free content, become a Pesca Plus subscriber at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://subscribe.mikepesca.com/ For Mike's daily takes on Substack, subscribe to The Gist List https://mikepesca.substack.com/ Follow us on Social Media:⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pescagist/ X https://x.com/pescami YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pescagist⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pescagist To advertise on the show, contact ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠ or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://advertising.libsyn.com/howto

Relying on filler words like "um," "like," and "you know" is a universal habit that clutters our speech and betrays our nerves, but simply willing yourself to stop only makes the problem worse. Today on How To!, Mike Pesca is joined by renowned data journalist and author Nate Silver, who bravely steps up as the guinea pig to have his own fast-talking, filler-heavy conversational style diagnosed in real-time. Then, communications coach Michael Chad Hoeppner, author of Don't Say Um, steps in to break down the physical mechanics of communication—treating speaking as an athletic act—and offers actionable, kinesthetic strategies like "catching the ball" and "walking the fingers" to help anyone slow down, pause, and speak with confident precision. Executive Producer Corey Wara Edited by Geoff Craig Booking by Ben Astaire Do you have a burning question or a problem you need help with? Email us at [email protected] and we will consider your topic for the show. For full Pesca content and updates, check out our website at https://www.mikepesca.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To receive ad-free content, become a Pesca Plus subscriber at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://subscribe.mikepesca.com/ For Mike's daily takes on Substack, subscribe to The Gist List https://mikepesca.substack.com/ Follow us on Social Media:⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pescagist/ X https://x.com/pescami YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pescagist⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pescagist To advertise on the show, contact ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠ or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://advertising.libsyn.com/howto

Getting older brings new vulnerabilities, especially when navigating the sophisticated, ever-evolving world of financial scams targeting seniors. Today on How To!, Mike Pesca is joined by journalist Nancy Rommelmann, who shares the harrowing personal reality of watching her mother fall prey to predatory phone calls and a corrupt accountant. Then, AARP's Senior Director of Fraud Victim Support, Amy Nofziger, steps in to break down the DNA of modern elder fraud—from "pig butchering" crypto schemes to celebrity romance catfishing—and offers actionable, team-based strategies like credit freezes, call blockers, and family "admin nights" to keep your loved ones, and their life savings, safe. Executive Producer Corey Wara Edited by Geoff Craig Booking by Ben Astaire Do you have a burning question or a problem you need help with? Email us at [email protected] and we will consider your topic for the show. For full Pesca content and updates, check out our website at https://www.mikepesca.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To receive ad-free content, become a Pesca Plus subscriber at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://subscribe.mikepesca.com/ For Mike's daily takes on Substack, subscribe to The Gist List https://mikepesca.substack.com/ Follow us on Social Media:⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pescagist/ X https://x.com/pescami YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pescagist⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pescagist To advertise on the show, contact ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠ or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://advertising.libsyn.com/howto

Stand-up comedian and philosopher Myq Kaplan has built a successful career exploring the human condition, but navigating his own underlying anxiety presents a very different challenge. He knows how to handle recreational and spiritual psychedelic trips in the jungles of Peru, but the leap to "crossing the streams" and using these substances in a formal, clinical therapeutic setting feels uncertain. On this episode: How To!'s Mike Pesca brings on Dr. Will Van Derveer, a veteran psychiatrist, co-founder of the Integrative Psychiatry Institute, and author of Psychedelic Therapy. Dr. Will Van Derveer offers Myq guidance on using medicines like ketamine and psilocybin to "shake the snow globe" of the brain's default mode network, the importance of treating the therapy like a psychological tow truck rather than a permanent ride—and why you really need to stop bothering the Sonoran Desert toads. Executive Producer Corey Wara Edited by Geoff Craig Booking by Ben Astaire Do you have a burning question or a problem you need help with? Email us at [email protected] and we will consider your topic for the show. For full Pesca content and updates, check out our website at https://www.mikepesca.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To receive ad-free content, become a Pesca Plus subscriber at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://subscribe.mikepesca.com/ For Mike's daily takes on Substack, subscribe to The Gist List https://mikepesca.substack.com/ Follow us on Social Media:⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pescagist/ X https://x.com/pescami YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pescagist⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pescagist To advertise on the show, contact ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠ or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://advertising.libsyn.com/howto

Mike Pesca has built a long career as a news analyst and podcaster, but taking over the How To! franchise presents a very different challenge: learning the ropes of the advice show genre. He knows how to dissect complex political events, but the leap to solving eccentric listener dilemmas while maximizing entertainment value feels new. On this episode: How To!'s Mike Pesca turns the microphone on himself and brings on Ian Chillag and Mike Danforth, the veteran co-hosts of NPR's How to Do Everything and producers for Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! Ian and Mike offer Mike guidance on bypassing straightforward answers to find weirdly perpendicular solutions, the importance of providing "nutritious" conversational facts—and why you should never, under any circumstances, climb inside a refrigerator with Jesse Eisenberg. Executive Producer Corey Wara Edited by Geoff Craig Booking by Lya Yanne Do you have a burning question or a problem you need help with? Email us at [email protected] and we will consider your topic for the show. For full Pesca content and updates, check out our website at https://www.mikepesca.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To receive ad-free content, become a Pesca Plus subscriber at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://subscribe.mikepesca.com/ For Mike's daily takes on Substack, subscribe to The Gist List https://mikepesca.substack.com/ Follow us on Social Media:⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pescagist/ X https://x.com/pescami YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pescagist⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pescagist To advertise on the show, contact ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠ or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://advertising.libsyn.com/howto

Enid Baxter Ryce has built a fascinating career as an artist and university professor, but her unique living situation presents a very different challenge: navigating life on a massive, decommissioned, and potentially haunted military base. She knows how to uncover the historical art left behind in the empty barracks, but the leap to understanding and confronting the supernatural entities that might linger there feels intimidating and out of reach. On this episode: How To!'s Mike Pesca brings on Dr. Irving Finkel, a renowned British Museum curator, Assyriologist, and author of The First Ghosts. Irving offers Enid guidance on bypassing modern skepticism to view hauntings through an ancient Mesopotamian lens, the power of using precise incantations to address spirits—and why dealing with a ghost should be treated as practically as catching a mouse in the kitchen. Executive Producer Corey Wara Edited by Geoff Craig Booking by Lya Yanne Do you have a burning question or a problem you need help with? Email us at [email protected] and we will consider your topic for the show. For full Pesca content and updates, check out our website at https://www.mikepesca.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To receive ad-free content, become a Pesca Plus subscriber at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://subscribe.mikepesca.com/ For Mike's daily takes on Substack, subscribe to The Gist List https://mikepesca.substack.com/ Follow us on Social Media:⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pescagist/ X https://x.com/pescami YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pescagist⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pescagist To advertise on the show, contact ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠ or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://advertising.libsyn.com/howto

Dan Savage has built a legendary career giving sex and relationship advice, but as the U.S. political climate shifts, he's yearning to chase a very different dream: relocating his polyamorous family to Europe. He knows how to navigate complex relationship dynamics, but the leap to untangling international immigration law feels intimidating and technically out of reach. On this episode: How To! with Mike Pesca consults Charley Nieuwesteeg, a Dutch immigration lawyer specializing in the Dutch-American Friendship Treaty (DAFT). Charley offers Dan guidance on bypassing the bureaucratic hurdles to establish residency, navigating the logistics of "daisy-chain" migration—and why proving a romantic relationship to the Dutch government is surprisingly straightforward. Executive Producer Corey Wara Edited by Geoff Craig Booking by Lya Yanne Do you have a burning question or a problem you need help with? Email us at [email protected] and we will consider your topic for the show. For full Pesca content and updates, check out our website at https://www.mikepesca.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To receive ad-free content, become a Pesca Plus subscriber at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://subscribe.mikepesca.com/ For Mike's daily takes on Substack, subscribe to The Gist List https://mikepesca.substack.com/ Follow us on Social Media:⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pescagist/ X https://x.com/pescami YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pescagist⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pescagist To advertise on the show, contact ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠ or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://advertising.libsyn.com/howto

Stewart has built a respectable career as a lawyer in Montreal, but he's yearning to chase a very different dream: becoming a club DJ. He knows how to curate a killer playlist, but the leap to commanding a live room feels intimidating and technically out of reach. On this episode: How To!'s Mike Pesca brings on Tom Nash, a former top Sydney club DJ (known as DJ Hookie) who spins using prosthetic hooks. Tom offers Stewart guidance on bypassing the technical hurdles to truly read a crowd, building a music brand from "scratch"—and why the DJ's one true job is to delight the audience. Executive Producer Corey Wara Edited by Geoff Craig Booking by Lya Yanne Do you have a burning question or a problem you need help with? Email us at [email protected] and we will consider your topic for the show. For full Pesca content and updates, check out our website at https://www.mikepesca.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To receive ad-free content, become a Pesca Plus subscriber at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://subscribe.mikepesca.com/ For Mike's daily takes on Substack, subscribe to The Gist List https://mikepesca.substack.com/ Follow us on Social Media:⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pescagist/ X https://x.com/pescami YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pescagist⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pescagist To advertise on the show, contact ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠ or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://advertising.libsyn.com/howto

How To! has a new host - veteran journalist and podcaster Mike Pesca, host of The Gist, Not Even Mad, and Funny You Should Mention podcasts. It's the same great Ambie Award nominated show, covering new topics, with new experts, and Mike's signature humor. You've got questions. We find answers. We all need advice, but it's not always clear who to ask. Each week, Mike Pesca invites a listener on the show to tackle a real problem, like protecting our elderly loved ones from scammers, emigrating as a throuple, and speaking without saying "um" - all with help from world-class experts: attorneys, doctors, entrepreneurs, authors, researchers - who actually know what they're talking about. Think of it as eavesdropping on someone else's therapy session, without the co-pay or awkward silence.

You've probably heard about the importance of journaling, putting thoughts on paper to help process the daily vicissitudes of life. But it's easy to stall once you see a blank page or get self conscious about what exactly you're writing. On this episode of How To!, we bring together Anna Quindlen, bestselling novelist and author of the new book Write For Your Life, and John Dickerson, co-host of Slate's Political Gabfest, CBS News reporter, author and veteran journaler. They share their wit and wisdom on how to start writing about your personal life — and how to keep it going amid all the distractions. (And stay tuned after the credits for an exclusive sneak peek of Anna Quindlen's next novel). If you liked this episode, check out "How To Write a Bestseller" and "How To Get Your Book Published."

Dating is always tough, but during a pandemic it can feel downright impossible. "I'm incredibly lonely, and it's impossible to meet anybody my age right now," our listener Sarah said. Feeling isolated, Sarah has clung to a friends-with-benefit situation with Matthew, her friend and dance partner. But at 36, Sarah knows the relationship isn't meant to last. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Logan Ury, director of relationship science at Hinge, dating coach, and author of How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love, to help Sarah break up with Matthew and move on. And moving on, Logan says, doesn't necessarily mean just dating. What Sarah might really be missing is a community—and so she ought to search for not only a romantic partner but also friends who function as "other significant others."

Joe Loya robbed over 30 banks during an 18-month span before going to jail. In this episode of How To! Charles wants to rob one bank on a Saturday afternoon, and get away scot-free. Can Joe teach Charles the tricks of the trade? Or will he shatter his dreams, and a few stereotypes along the way? Also, is it a good idea to carry a microphone while attempting a robbery?

Avalon is driven, creative, and… can't meet a deadline to save her life. In her defense, she's a card-carrying member of the gig economy, juggling a complicated schedule as a DJ and visual artist. Avalon's tried to organize her life using a bullet journal, but procrastination keeps getting in the way of her career pursuits. On this episode of How To!, the second in a two-part series on time management, we talk to Christopher Cox, author of The Deadline Effect: How To Work Like It's the Last Minute Before the Last Minute. He explains why concrete deadlines, the shorter the better, can actually help Avalon's creativity. And he gives all of us tips on how to set the perfect deadline—and never miss it.

Victor's job—at its core—is to change the world. But he feels like he's plateaued within his large humanitarian and development organization, and is now on the verge of jumping ship. On this episode of How To!, Annie Duke, author of Quit: The Power Of Knowing When to Walk Away, helps Victor decide if he should recommit to his current job or move on to something else. She explains the cognitive biases that prevent us from quitting and reveals why most of us quit things far too late.

The trouble began when Sarah put a fern in front of her new condo. Nice, right? The woman who lives in the unit above didn't think so, and without warning sent Sarah a slew of passive-aggressive notes. Sarah thinks it's all a big misunderstanding, but now her neighbor refuses to even speak to her. Sarah is wracked with anxiety, struggling to sleep, and contemplating moving out. On this episode of How To!, we turn to stand-up comedian Tig Notaro, a cancer survivor and host of the new advice podcast Don't Ask Tig, to help Sarah approach the situation with humor and clarity. When things don't go your way, Tig says, you have to take back control of your own story. What would the hero in your favorite movie do? For Sarah, this means gardening with headphones and the Rocky theme on the soundtrack. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

In 2025, our listeners contacted How To! for advice about outsmarting student loans, moving to a new city, hosting a low-key gathering, living with chronic pain, quitting a dream job, letting go of ADHD shame, and yes, losing your virginity in your 40s. Today on the show: Carvell Wallace and Courtney Martin get updates from some of those advice-seekers—and they check in with Jeff, whose family narrowly escaped an L.A. wildfire this year. Plus, what's ahead for How To! in 2026. How To! is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our senior supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

Tired of being the project manager for date night? On this bonus episode of How To!, Jackie Kelley explains how to make logistics equitable and easy—so your partner can help. Plus: a tip for quickly finding restaurants when date night is spontaneous. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

Cohabitation can be bliss—except when it comes to your partner's incompatible approach to household tasks. Bonnie likes things clean, organized, and prompt. Vince, on the other hand, is a classic procrastinator. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on self-described "human glitterbomb" Jackie Kelley to offer up some practical "marriage rules" designed to improve everyday communication with the love of your life. If you liked this episode check out: How To Build a Marriage That Lasts How To Have a Fight That Actually Helps Your Relationship How To Save Your Marriage Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

In this bonus episode, Dr. Ingrid Clayton discusses another aspect of everyday life where fawning can show up and take over: sex. Ingrid tells How To!'s Courtney Martin about the ways we lose ourselves during sex—and how we can reconnect with our needs. How To!'s Quick Fix is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode is member-exclusive. Listen to it now by subscribing to Slate Plus. By joining, not only will you unlock this episode—you'll also access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen.

When clinical psychologist, trauma therapist, and complex trauma survivor Dr. Ingrid Clayton learned about fawning — the fourth "F" after fight, flight, and freeze — she felt like this was the missing piece that explained her whole life. On this episode of How To!, Ingrid talks to Courtney Martin about what can happen when you find yourself in a chronic fawning response, and how to break free. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

Slate staff writer Rebecca Onion wants to improve her singing voice, but she's unsure about belting it out in public. On this episode, How To!'s Carvell Wallace introduces her to G. Phillip Shoultz III, associate director of VocalEssence, for advice on strengthening her voice, performing with confidence, and (gasp!) auditioning for a vocal group. If you liked this episode check out How To Write the Perfect Breakup Song With Ben Folds. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

With the year-end giving season underway, you might be wondering how much to donate and where you can make the biggest impact. On this Giving Tuesday, How To!'s Courtney Martin brings on Grace Chiang Nicolette of the Center for Effective Philanthropy to explain how to pick the right organizations and ensure your dollar goes as far as possible—regardless of how much you're giving. You can hear more of Grace on her podcast, Giving Done Right. If you liked this episode, check out How To Harness Your Citizen Superpowers and How To Lead Your Local Nonprofit. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

It wasn't long after Melody Warnick moved to Blacksburg, Va., that she realized its nickname—"Bleaksburg"—wasn't a joke. Feeling stuck, she devised a research-based experiment to acclimate to her new city. On this episode: Melody explains how she went from hating Blacksburg to loving it (and how you can deepen your connection to the place where you live). Listen to part one of our conversation here: How to Move to a New City. If you liked this episode check out: How To Survive a Disaster and Quick Fix: Meet Your Neighbors Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

Kerry is ready to leave rural Virginia and move to a walkable, vibrant city. The only problem? She can't decide which walkable, vibrant city is right for her. On this episode, How To!'s Courtney Martin brings on Melody Warnick, author of This Is Where You Belong and If You Could Live Anywhere. Melody asks Kerry what she's really seeking in a new place—and introduces a process that can help make such an important decision. Next week, we'll talk with Melody about learning to love where you live. Can't wait for part two? Slate Plus members can listen to that episode in their feeds right now! If you liked this episode check out: Moving Stories from Slate's Death, Sex & Money. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

In this Quick Fix bonus episode, Carvell Wallace talks with home improvement expert Mercury Stardust about her first year of homeownership. The ups and downs of that experience are the subject of Mercury's upcoming book. How To!'s Quick Fix is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode is member-exclusive. Listen to it now by subscribing to Slate Plus. By joining, not only will you unlock this episode—you'll also access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen.

In the second half of How To!'s wide-ranging conversation about home improvement, gender, sexuality, and much more, journalist Sam Sanders and author Mercury Stardust (aka The Trans Handy Ma'am) talk with co-host Carvell Wallace about a truly daunting idea: skipping the contractors—and doing the work yourself. This episode is available to Slate Plus members now. Non-members will be able to listen on Nov. 11, 2025. If you missed the first half of this conversation, check out How To Talk to Contractors (With Sam Sanders and Mercury Stardust). Mercury's latest book is Safe and Sound: A Renter-Friendly Guide to Home Repair. And, check out the latest episodes of The Sam Sanders Show. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

Sam Sanders is many things: journalist, podcaster, pop-culture obsessive, and a familiar voice from public radio. He's also "quite possibly the world's most hesitant homeowner." Sam wants to fix up the house he recently bought, but three things are holding him back: First, he doesn't have a clue where to start. Second, he's not very handy. And third, he's intimidated by the thought of talking with contractors (who might discover the first two things about him). In the first episode of a two-part series, Carvell Wallace brings on home improvement expert and bestselling author Mercury Stardust (aka The Trans Handy Ma'am) to guide Sam in conquering his fears. Mercury's latest book is Safe and Sound: A Renter-Friendly Guide to Home Repair. Check out the latest episodes of The Sam Sanders Show. Next week: How To Take Charge of Home Repair (with Sam Sanders and Mercury Stardust). Can't wait for part 2? Slate Plus members can listen to that episode in their feeds right now! Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

Andrew Zaleski couldn't stop snoring. Fed up, he did what any good journalist would do: He started digging. On this episode of How To!, Andrew tells Courtney Martin about his investigation into sawing logs, his experiments with anti-snoring devices, and what he learned from sleep experts while reporting his recent story for Slate. Episodes Mentioned: How To Stop Snoring (and Breathe Easier) How To Sleep Apart to Save Your Relationship How To Sleep Like a Champ Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

If you recently lost your job—or think you might lose it soon—Laura Brown and Kristina O'Neill are here to help! On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace talks to the authors of All the Cool Girls Get Fired about what to do when you get the ax—and how to turn termination into a real opportunity. If you liked this conversation, check out the Slate podcast Death, Sex & Money's recent episode on "Why Job Hunting Feels So Grim Lately, Especially for Gen Z." Looking for a different kind of career advice? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

Journalist and activist Soraya Chemaly decided to write her new book All We Want Is Everything: How We Dismantle Male Supremacy before the 2024 election. No matter the result, "there was going to be a huge backlash," she says. "I thought we should talk about this problem, which I define as a problem of male supremacy being invisible." Soraya breaks down how male supremacy operates, our hopes for beating it, and why it's bad for everyone—including men. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

Contemporary women are primal-screaming and hitting rage rooms, but are these really the solutions to our personal and political anger? On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin talks with Soraya Chemaly, journalist and author of Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger, about her own recent upsurge of anger. Soraya explains how to identify, understand, and harness what's bottled up inside you—and use it for change. If you liked this episode check out How To Make Imposter Syndrome Your Superpower and How To Be Lonely. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

In this special bonus episode, youth mentor Ashanti Branch talks with our listener Jen about her son's early observation about his skin color—and how to sustain conversations with young kids about race and identity. If you liked this episode check out: How To 'Do the Work' of Racial Justice Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

Jen is raising a pretty stellar 9-year-old son. With his tween and teen years on the horizon, she wants to steer him toward kindness, acceptance, and openness—and away from the pitfalls of toxic masculinity. On this episode, How To!'s Carvell Wallace brings on Ashanti Branch, founder of The Ever Forward Club and host of unMASKing with Male Educators. Ashanti offers his advice on talking with boys about their emotions, understanding the "mask" that young men present to the world, and building trust and confidence—by acknowledging that adults don't have all the answers. If you liked this episode check out: How To Parent Less and How To Make Friends … Like a Man Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on ⁠Apple Podcasts⁠ or ⁠Spotify⁠. Or, visit ⁠slate.com/howtoplus⁠ for access wherever you listen.

After seven years of trying to conceive, Lauren is ending fertility treatments and starting a new journey: adoption. She's excited about this unexpected detour into parenthood—but she's also grieving the loss of something deeply personal that she desired for so long. On this episode: How To!'s Courtney Martin brings on Ada Limón, author of the new book Startlement and the current U.S. poet laureate. Ada offers Lauren guidance on finding strength and joy in this unplanned chapter of her life—and on rethinking our own expectations for our bodies and our lives. If you liked this episode check out How To Become a Parent Overnight and How To Build a Marriage That Lasts. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

In our latest mailbag episode, Courtney and Carvell had so much to say about books that we're bringing you even more in this Quick Fix bonus chat about audiobooks, cozy mysteries, and romance novels. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen. This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

In this mailbag episode of How To!, we get an update from Elizabeth, the 43-year-old listener who contacted us for advice on her plan to have sex for the first time. Then, co-hosts Courtney Martin and Carvell Wallace get listeners' takes on our most talked-about episodes of the year—and the staff holds an impromptu idea meeting for upcoming episodes. Links Mentioned: My Old Books Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

Two days after his experience with hypnosis, Carvell answers his How To! coworkers' burning questions: What does he remember (and not remember)? Does he feel any different? And most important: Would he do it again? Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To! is produced by Rosie Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad, who produced this Quick Fix episode. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

Much of our common understanding of hypnosis has been gleaned from mind-control plots in Hollywood movies or hokey on-stage demonstrations. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Stanford University psychiatrist and researcher Dr. David Spiegel to talk about what hypnosis is (and isn't), as well as its potential to address stress, pain, and even athletic performance. Plus, with Carvell wrestling with an ongoing major project, Dr. Spiegel tests our host's hypnotizability—then leads him through an exercise aimed at confronting procrastination. Learn more about Dr. Spiegel and his self-hypnosis app, Reveri. If you liked this episode, check out How To Stop Being Anxious and How To Quiet the Chatter in Your Head. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To! is produced by Rosie Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad, who produced this episode. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

Vanessa Zoltan's decision to enroll at Harvard Divinity School as an avowed atheist might seem unusual—at first. In this Quick Fix bonus episode for Slate Plus members, Zoltan talks with Carvell Wallace about becoming an atheist chaplain and why operating outside of organized religion helps her connect with people in times of need, regardless of what they believe. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

Alice has an objectively cool job. She programs film festivals and gets to watch documentaries for a living. But that living is also stressful: It's low-paying, seasonal work that provides some status, sure, but not much stability. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on atheist chaplain and author Vanessa Zoltan, who spent two years helping countless people decide whether to quit (or not) on her podcast The Real Question. Vanessa shares what she learned from those conversations—and helps Alice figure out how to reimagine her life (with job security). If you liked this episode check out How To Switch Careers in Midlife, How To Take a Sabbatical, and How To Know When to Quit Your Job. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

When was the last time you said more than "hello" to your neighbors? On this installment of How To!'s Quick Fix, Katherine Goldstein shares advice from her How To Find Your People Club project and helps us break the ice with bubbles, stoop coffee, and a dash of courage. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

Krystina used to host gatherings all the time. Then came kids and the pandemic, and the parties ground to a halt. She's feeling a renewed urge to bring people together—specifically her inspiring, badass female friends—but every time she starts to plan something meaningful, she balks. On this episode: How To!'s Courtney Martin connects Krystina with Katherine Goldstein of the Substack and podcast The Double Shift. Katherine shares what she's learned from her new project, The How To Find Your People Club, including a guiding principle: Don't overthink it. More from The How to Find Your People Club: 8 Ways to Embrace "Deep Casual Hosting" (So You'll Actually Do It) More Advice for the "Deep Casual" Hosting Movement! A Research-Backed Method to Ramp Up Our Social Skills A Nitty-Gritty Guide to Finding a Community That's Right for You If you liked this episode, check out How To Throw a Party They'll Remember and How To Find Friends in Unexpected Places. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

When Kelly volunteered to be the head coach for his son's baseball team, he was nervous. He had no formal training, but he knew he wanted his players to have equal playing time—and have fun. Which they did, until the yelling started and the season ended in a stunning loss (and quite a few tears). What can Kelly do better next season? In this encore episode of How To! from 2021, Amanda Ripley connects Kelly with Doug Lemov, author of Teach Like a Champion and The Coach's Guide to Teaching. Doug shares some fantastic advice for commanding attention (and managing failure) that we can all learn from, on or off the field. If you liked this episode, check out Congrats, You Won the Olympics. Now What? Do you have a question that requires Ted Lasso-grade inspiration? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. This episode was produced by Derek John and Rosemary Belson. This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

Safiya is one clumsy coffee spill away from catastrophe. A Gen Xer who hasn't yet embraced the cloud, she stores thousands of digital files, documents, and photos on devices with maxed-out storage limits. On today's episode, Carvell Wallace brings on Caitlin McGarry, senior editor at Wirecutter. Caitlin talks with Safiya about practical ways to delete and organize—and how we can all build healthier habits in our digital lives. Ready to dive even deeper? Explore these resources: How to Organize Your Digital Files Digital Clutter Can Be Overwhelming. Here's How to Clean Up. Your Phone's Camera Roll Is a Mess. Here's How to Clean It Up. How to Organize Desktop Apps Don't Be a Digital Hoarder If you liked this episode, check out How To Be a Lazy Genius and How To Rethink Screen Time Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

When working on her new book, Hello, Cruel World!, science journalist Melinda Wenner Moyer interviewed a wide variety of researchers about raising resilient kids. On this episode of How To!'s Quick Fix, Melinda shares the top three pieces of advice she heard from them. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode is member-exclusive. Listen to it now by subscribing to Slate Plus. By joining, not only will you unlock this episode—you'll also access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen.

Sarah loves her in-laws, even though their politics send her running for the exits. Now, her daughter is starting to ask questions about her grandparents' patriarchal, conservative views. How can Sarah raise her kid to be self-assured, justice-oriented, and open-minded—without spoiling the connection between her in-laws and the grandchild they adore? On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Melinda Wenner Moyer, science journalist and author of the new book Hello, Cruel World! Science-based Strategies for Raising Terrific Kids in Terrifying Times. Melinda gives Sarah strategies for talking to all parties, reinforcing values in her daughter, and avoiding an irreparable break with her relatives. If you want more Melinda, check out: How To Raise Kids in a Nation Full of Guns. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

Jessi navigates life with ADHD using a complex web of coping strategies. She used to strive for absolute perfection, but feels overwhelming guilt when she forgets something or loses focus at work or at home. On this episode, How To! co-host Carvell Wallace introduces Jessi to Dr. Sarah Wheeler, an educational psychologist who specializes in ADHD. Dr. Wheeler shares her own experience with ADHD and helps Jessi chart a sustainable path forward to self-acceptance, minus the anxiety and shame. Dr. Wheeler's Resources and Recommendations - ⁠Sarah's ADHD story⁠ - Sarah's⁠ Substack⁠ and⁠ podcast⁠ - More about ⁠Sarah and her work⁠ - Joan Wilder's site ⁠Help for Women with ADHD⁠ - Salif Muhamane's Ted Talk,⁠ "ADHD Sucks, But Not Really⁠" - Kate Weber's⁠ Women & ADHD podcast⁠ - You've Always Been This Way: ⁠"Hello, I'm New Here,"⁠ by McSweeney's columnist Taylor Harris Check out: How To Navigate Adult Autism and our discussion of ADHD and organizing in How To Do Housework (and Not Hate It) How can How To! help you?? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

Psssst. You didn't hear this from me, but gossiping—can be good for you! Our series on embracing your inner antihero wraps—for now—with a guilty pleasure: gossiping. Normal Gossip host (and beloved former Slatester) Rachelle Hampton sits down with How To!'s Carvell Wallace to dish on the right way to gossip, the link between whisper networks and safety, and the importance of leaving no receipts. This conversation concludes—for now!—our miniseries on embracing your inner antihero. Check out our episodes on How To Get Sweet, Sweet Revenge and How To Be an Ethical Hater. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode was produced by Sophie Summergrad. This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.