EPISODE · Aug 3, 2026 · 45 MIN
How to deal with your (*&^&*) so your teens don't have to
from Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam · host Dr. Cam
Do you ever feel like your teen knows exactly how to push your buttons? It's easy to focus on changing your teen's behavior, but what if the biggest shift starts with you? Many parents unknowingly carry emotional wounds from their own childhood that shape how they respond to conflict, criticism, and connection with their teens. In this episode, Dr. Cam sits down with licensed therapist, attachment expert, and bestselling author Eli Harwood to explore how healing your own emotional baggage can transform your relationship with your teen. Together, they discuss the impact of generational trauma, why secure attachment doesn't require perfect parenting, and how balancing emotional warmth with healthy boundaries helps teens grow into confident, independent adults. If you're ready to break unhealthy family patterns and build a stronger connection with your teen, this episode offers compassionate, research-backed guidance. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE How unresolved emotional wounds can affect the way you parent your teen Why secure attachment comes from balancing emotional support with healthy boundaries How to stop repeating generational patterns and build a stronger parent-teen relationship Why repairing mistakes—not being a perfect parent—is what helps teens feel safe and connected 🎧❤️ ENJOYING THE SHOW? Don't keep it to yourself! Share your favorite episode and leave a rating and review to help other parents find the support they need. Your feedback helps me create even more episodes filled with practical tips for you and your family! Thanks so much for your support! 🙏💫 🔔 Remember to hit SUBSCRIBE so you never miss another solution-packed episode! 🙌 RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Security Attached: Raising Securely Attached Kids by Eli Harwood How to Deal with Your Sht So Your Kids Don't Have To* by Eli Harwood Attachment Nerd Secure Parent Program CONNECT WITH OUR GUEST: Eli Harwood Website: attachmentnerd.com Instagram: @AttachmentNerd Facebook: @AttachmentNerd YouTube: Attachment Nerd CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST: Dr. Cam Caswell Website: askdrcam.com Instagram: @DrCamCaswell TikTok: @the.teen.translator YouTube: Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam Facebook: @DrCamCaswell EPISODE CHAPTERS 00:00 Understanding Attachment and Parenting 02:58 The Importance of Dealing with Our Own Issues 06:05 Navigating Shame and Acceptance in Parenting 08:58 The Role of Emotional Needs in Parent-Child Relationships 12:00 Feedback and Communication Between Parents and Teens 14:59 Defensiveness and Its Impact on Relationships 17:57 Building Trust and Connection with Teens 22:09 Navigating Parenting Responses 24:37 The Importance of Structure and Nurture 26:56 Building Trust and Connection with Teens 29:12 Understanding Adolescent Development 32:22 Embracing the Messiness of Adolescence 34:51 The Role of Community in Parenting 37:12 Finding Support and Healing 39:11 The Power of Connection and Attachment ABOUT THE SHOW The Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam Podcast is your go-to resource for navigating the challenges of raising teenagers. Hosted by Dr. Cam Caswell, an adolescent psychologist and certified parenting coach, this podcast offers practical parenting strategies, expert advice, and real-world insights to help you build a stronger relationship with your teen and support their emotional growth. Whether you're struggling with teenage behavior or looking to improve communication, each episode provides actionable tips to make parenting teens easier and more rewarding. Perfect for both new and seasoned parents, this podcast helps you build the confidence to handle teen challenges and thrive together. #theteentranslator #drcamcaswell #parentingteenswithdrcam #SecureAttachment #ParentingTeens
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What this episode covers
Parents struggling with defiant teens, mood swings, and communication breakdown often focus on changing their child’s behavior. But licensed therapist and attachment expert Eli Harwood reveals a counterintuitive truth: the key to transforming your teen relationship is managing your own unresolved emotional wounds first. Drawing on nearly two decades of clinical research, Harwood explains how generational trauma unconsciously repeats itself in families. When parents grew up without emotional validation, they unconsciously ask their teens to fill that void—creating an ”upside-down” parent-child relationship where children manage their parents’ emotional needs instead of focusing on their own development. This pattern leads to defensiveness, shame-based reactions, and fractured connections. But there’s hope. When parents commit to ”dealing with their shit”—processing past trauma, finding adult support systems, and developing emotional regulation—teens notice. They respond with respect, vulnerability, and genuine connection. The research-backed solution involves balancing two parenting qualities: softness (emotional understanding and validation) and sturdiness (clear boundaries and consistent growth expectations). This isn’t permissive parenting; it’s secure parenting that helps teens develop confidence and independence. Parents don’t need perfection—just 30-50% consistency in attunement creates secure attachment. The goal isn’t compliance; it’s building a relationship where teens willingly stay connected to you as their safe base, even through the messy teenage years. By addressing your own emotional needs through therapy, community support, and self-compassion, you transform not just your teen’s behavior—you break generational trauma cycles.
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How to deal with your (*&^&*) so your teens don't have to
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