How to Not Nice - Full Guide

https://newsletter.sankalpgarud.org/52waysguide Ever feel like you're always putting others first, even if it means neglecting yourself? This episode dives deep into the surprising downsides of being "too nice." I explains how people-pleasing tendencies can lead to burnout , stifle your voice , and even damage your relationships. If we haven't met 👋, my name is Sankalp, I am a PhD student in psychology at the University of Oxford. We'll explore the root causes of this behavior (often linked to childhood experiences!), and learn powerful strategies to overcome it. I will show you how to set healthy boundaries, manage that pesky guilt monster, and finally develop the assertiveness you deserve . This episode is your chance to understand why you might be "too nice," and take control of your happiness! Join me and let's build a more balanced and fulfilling life together! #selfcare #boundaries #assertiveness #personalgrowth #psychology 00:00 Introduction 03:16 Niceness is not the same as goodness 08:01 The selfishness spectrum 12:15 Resentment 13:03 Over-responsibility 13:46 Solution to niceness 14:42 Guilt 20:08 Covert contracts 21:50 Role of childhood 24:33 Exercise: find your rules 27:13 How to not blame others 28:41 Passive aggressiveness 31:48 Silent Treatment 32:37 Exercise: bill of rights 34:53 What are rights 36:30 Most social rules are malleable 37:28 Communication hacks 39:08 Putting it all into practice 39:55 Mindfulness meditation 42:11 Mind body pain 44:46 The cost of niceness