How to Recognize and Break Free from Abusive Relationships with Kanchan Bhaskar

Do you want to reclaim your power and break free from the grip of an abusive relationship? Are you ready to take control of your life and find the safety and support you deserve? In this episode, our guest, Kanchan Bhaskar, will reveal the key to recognizing abusive relationships and provide you with the solution to achieve freedom and security. Together, we will empower you to identify the signs of abuse and take steps towards creating a life filled with safety, happiness, and peace. Show Notes | Transcript "There is no need for you to be trapped behind the closed doors. You need to speak up. You need to come out and tell people that this is what is going on with you because you should not be ashamed of it. You are not the guilty party." - Kanchan Bhaskar Meet Kanchan Bhaskar, a remarkable advocate, speaker, coach, and author who has dedicated her life to empowering victims and survivors of domestic violence. Having overcome her own harrowing experience, Kanchan is on a mission to help others recognize the signs of abuse and take courageous steps towards a life of safety and freedom. Her book, "Leaving: How I Set Myself Free from an Abusive Marriage," chronicles her inspiring story and serves as a powerful resource for those seeking guidance and support. With unwavering determination, Kanchan has transformed her pain into purpose, using her voice to raise awareness about the prevalence of domestic abuse and advocate for change. Through her compassionate coaching and empowering speeches, she inspires individuals to break free from toxic relationships, reclaim their power, and build a brighter future. Kanchan's resilience and unwavering commitment to helping others make her an incredible force for positive change in the world. In this episode, you will be able to: Gain insight and support from a survivor of domestic violence, who shares their personal journey of healing and triumph. Understand the importance of speaking up about abuse, and how it can lead to a path of empowerment and safety. Discover the therapeutic power of writing as a tool for healing, self-expression, and reclaiming your voice. Learn how to recognize the signs of abusive relationships and gain the knowledge and confidence to take action. Explore practical strategies for prioritizing self-care in the midst of abuse, helping you regain control and nurture your well-being. Related Live. Love. Engage. episodes you may enjoy: Wendy Posillico’s Guide to Finding Purpose and Paving Your Path Healing Power of Poetry with Brenda Bryan Lessons from Trauma Work with Sarah Brassard Turning Tragedy into Triumph with Enoh Ukpong Resources: Connect with Kanchan here Visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline online here Or Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) Join the Soulful Women's Network here Send me a message here ☕ Support the podcast here ❤ Love this episode? Leave us a review and rating here Connect with Gloria: LinkedIn | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter TRANSCRIPT Gloria Grace Rand Namaste and welcome to the show. Whether this is your first time or you are a regular subscriber, I am so glad that you are here joining us on this edition of Live Love Engage. And for those of you who are new, I am Gloria Grace, light messenger and spiritual alignment coach and women entrepreneurs hire me to help them clear the inner blocks, keeping you stuck so that you can live the life you want now. And I'm looking forward to this episode today because I've got a guest on the show that I'm going to be bringing on here in just 1 second and she has an interesting story to tell. Not well, yeah, I'll just say know as everybody has highs and lows in their story but I'm going to let her share that. But her name is Kanchan Bhaskar and she is a advocate, a speaker, a coach for victims and survivors of domestic violence and she has also written a book called Leaving: How I Set Myself Free from an Abusive Marriage. And we're going to be talking a bit about that and some other things today. So I want to first off now bring on Kanchan and welcome you officially to Live Love Engage. Kanchan Bhaskar Thank you so much for having me on your podcast. Grace. Gloria Grace Rand Yeah, well, I'm glad that you are here today to talk about a subject that it's not one we normally cover on this show, but unfortunately, I guess it is something that is an unfortunate fact of life for a lot of women and it's something that you have lived through. But I wanted to have you tell a little bit more about your story. I'd love to ask our guests what got you here to doing the work that you're doing now that you are this advocate and a speaker and a coach and an author. Congrats on that as well. Give us the Cliff Notes version, I should say, because I know there's a lot that goes on. I'm sure your story has a lot to tell, but kind of give us the highlights about what prompted you to be on the road that you're on now. Kanchan Bhaskar Sure. So this is a story of my transformation from a victim to a survivor. And then I did not stop there as just being a survivor. I continued my journey, got into spiritualism a little bit and higher faith and I got into that journey so that I could get in touch with my soul back I used to be and got transcended into an advocate now and a thriver and lived my life very happily in Chicago all on my own terms. So I found myself in an arranged marriage in India, as in India, arranged marriages are very common and very popular traditionally just because it's a joint family system. And when one is growing up, the parents and the uncles and the aunts and the grandparents, they start looking for a match or they are living in that society and they have an eye on a particular match for their daughter or their son. And that's how they arrange that marriage. So that's how it happened with me too. And the gentleman that I got engaged to was a very charming, bright and educated guy. A social charmer I would call him. But as soon as we got married, everything changed. And he turned out to be a narcissist, an alcoholic, a violent and a very angry person. Now my background was that I was brought up in a very modern environment where my parents respected each other, they cherished each other's company. We siblings were brought up in a very warm and a very nurturing environment. And that's how I thought a relationship is. Because my dad and my mother were true partners with each other. If my mom was in kitchen, my dad would be standing next to her in the kitchen. So in my perception, that's what marriage meant. That a woman has to be respected. Period. There was no question of raising your hand on a woman. But that's not what my ex-husband or my husband at the time would believe in. He was a typical narcissist who within three weeks of my marriage raised his hand on me and slapped me. So that was the beginning or I should say the end of my life. In those moments I thought because I was a girl who wanted to live life. I was very chirpy, I was out and about. I loved people around me. But then with his first lap I really wanted to get out. But the circumstances kept happening. One after the other. He would come back to me, he will bleed, he will cry, he will be in my feet and my compassion would rise for him. And I will say okay, let me give him one chance. It was just a slap, it's okay, let me try him. Maybe he didn't mean it and things like that. Within eleven months my first daughter was born. And then after that I could never get out of that trap. That trap kept deepening for me. I was under his full control and power. And this hitting and pushing and pulling and twisting my arm kept on happening and the severity kept getting more and more. But then I was not to live that life. As soon as I realized I was being victimized I started to plan my freedom. I had to take my children out of that toxic environment, acidic environment. After my daughter, my twins were born, the boys within three years and with three children the society shamed me. Because in India a woman doesn't ask for a divorce. It's unheard of. And the law did not protect me. There was no protection from them. And the lawyers very clearly told me that if I leave this man the custody of the three children, all of them will not go to you. He could get one, two, or all the three. If he proves that I had some mental issues, which is very common even, or if he could prove that I was having relationship outside my marriage, which is pretty simple. You pay a guy, you take your pictures, he sends the pictures, and they believe in it. And it's a man society, the patriarch society. Man has got a power and the woman is there to serve, is the concept they live in or they lived in at that time. Now things are changing a little bit. And so there was no way of even escaping for me because not leave my children, that was not acceptable to me. So then I started to strategize my escape as to how I will do it one day when that will come. And the first step that I took was to become financially independent. Then I sent my children to a boarding school away from the house so that they do not see what's going on, their psyche does not get affected, and they turn out to be holistic individuals like a mother would want any child to be. And then slowly, I kept taking steps. I had all the milestones chopped out in my mind and I kept taking steps, one after the other. But to help me in this all my faith was the one that really helped me and supported me. My faith in universe kept bringing me angels. The angels who gave me direction, who told me what to do, literally. Because the angels who told me, oh, you need to be financially independent. That's your first step, Kanchan. And oh, my God. How can I be independent? How can I go out of the house with these three toddlers in my lab? And they said, don't make excuses. So they were found. There was no pitting....