How to remove fear from your decision making

Today’s episode of the podcast is all about overcoming fear, and I am chatting all about what to do when you are scared to do something and how to step over that, and also why you shouldn't make decisions from fear. As always, I’d love to know if any of this resonated with you and whether you had any lightbulb moments. Please feel free to connect with me on my socials and let me know. KEY TAKEAWAYS COVERED IN THE PODCAST How feeling fear can be helpful What The Chimp Paradox is and how to deal with it What to do when fear kicks in THE ONE THING YOU NEED TO REMEMBER ABOVE ALL ELSE We do need fear and we're always going to have fear, but what we don't want it to do is to paralyse us or stop us from taking action. LINKS TO RESOURCES MENTIONED IN TODAY’S EPISODE Teresa Heath-Wareing Instagram Teresa Heath-Wareing LinkedIn Teresa Heath-Wareing Facebook Teresa Heath-Wareing Twitter Transcript Hello and a really warm welcome to this week's episode of the podcast. How are you doing? So this week I decided after a couple of weeks where we talked about practical things, I was gonna mix it back up and we'll do some mindset stuff. And this is kind of my plan going forward. So I really wanna make sure that I give you some of the practical things that we really need for business. But I also wanna make sure that we look at the mindset side because that is as important. If not, I might argue more important than knowing how to do a strategy or something like that. So today we're going to look at fear, which sounds like a really fun podcast episode, but I promise this is gonna be a good one. I am gonna give you lots of practical things that you can do to help you get over fear or move past fear, or to make sure that you don't make terrible decisions when in fear. Fear is a very natural thing. We all feel it and it's like nature. It's important that we do feel fear. Obviously back in the days where we were cave people, we needed fear to basically help us protect ourselves. And even though we are unlikely to be chased down by a lion today or whatever it might be, I dunno what it was back then, I wasn't around obviously. What we do is our brain still perceives things the same kind of way. It still thinks that we need to kick into that fight or flight or freeze or thorn kind of situation. So it gives us fear and, and it's doing a good thing. It's trying to be really good by going, this is a bit scary. I need to tell you, this is a bit scary because what I want to do is keep you safe. and it wants us to stay in our comfort zone. That's what it's trying to do. It doesn't want us to get those emotions of feeling nervous or scared. It wants us to stay where we know in our brains that we are safe and we will stay alive. But obviously the difference is now it's not a matter of life and death, it's the matter of doing a live or not doing a live or posting that thing on social media or not posting that thing. And it might seem like these are really little, silly things that I'm talking about. But really fear can be anything and something that one of you might think, well, that's easy. Like I'm never scared of that. Someone else might be absolutely petrified and that's absolutely fine because we're all very different people with very different life experiences and very different feelings. So, like I said, the main gist of it is that it wants to keep us safe. It wants to keep us in a safe place. And like I said, the brain unfortunately has not quite caught up with the fact that keeping us safe doesn't mean protecting us from death or being malled or eaten alive. That actually thank you, but I'm not gonna die if I go and post something on social or send that email or put my price up. So we need to be mindful that that's the case, that that's where the fear is coming from. However, we also, there are some advantages to having fear, like I said, one, the initial thing of let's not get malled by a bear, but actually having fear can be really helpful. So for instance, as you know, I speak a lot and I love it, but does that mean I never get scared before I go on stage? No. And I actually really like the fact that I am nervous because it proves to me that I'm taking it seriously, that I'm not at a point where I'm thinking I'm so good at this stuff. I'm not scared, I'm not bothered because I think at that point I'm probably not giving it the respect that it's due. So actually sometimes that fear, that feeling of fear can be really helpful. It can make us just understand actually this is, you know, this is something I'm doing here and I need to, to bear that in mind. What I tend to do when I speak though, when I feel that fear, cuz obviously I do love it. What often happens is the minute I get on stage, it goes like within the first minute of me talking, I then start to relax into it and it's fine and great and I love it. What I do, just out of interest, is I try and do the reframe thing, which is a, a Mel Robbins thing where basically the emotions for fear and the physical feelings in your body for fear are pretty much exactly the same as excitement. So lots of people, when they're nervous can go, I'm just excited. I'm really excited and try and kind of trick the brain that way, but I ground myself so I will breathe. I will do some breathing exercises. I will imagine. This is where I'm like, does this sound weird? It's not. It's not weird, but I imagine kind of roots coming outta my feet and going into the ground and really steadying me and I'm breathing as I do this. And if I can, and I'm in a position where I can take my shoes off, I'll take my shoes off to do that. But sometimes I'll be stood at the side of stage waiting to be called on and I'll be imagining and doing that grounding at that point. Now I do grounding because I am way too excitable. My nervousness and my excitement comes out in me speaking really fast and breathing really fast and just being a little bit much. So I like to ground and kind of bring myself down a bit just and steady myself a bit just to not be that excited when I go on stage. So, , we do need fear. We are always gonna have fear, but what we don't want it to do is to paralyze us or stop us. And that is sometimes what happens, that the fear, and you won't know it's the fear. Like you'll come up with every single excuse in the book as to why you can't do something, and it's not until the digging down and digging down or working with a coach that eventually the thought of fear might actually come out and you realize that it stopped you and paralyzed you. So what I've got is a couple of things I want us to look at today. I want to talk to you about what to do when you are scared to do something, and how to step over that, and also why you shouldn't make decisions from fear. It doesn't normally have brilliant outcomes. So let's talk about the when something is stopping you. So the first thing you gotta do is kind of recognize that it's fear stopping you and all the other things you are telling yourself might not be the reason. So it's not perfect enough. I don't like the way something looks. I need better copy. I need this. This isn't right. Like, I'm not saying those things aren't true, but usually it doesn't need to be the level that you are thinking it is. It can absolutely go out. And I was saying to someone just the other day, one of my one-to-one coaching clients, I was saying to her that she was putting together a website and she was like, you know, I need to, I and I, I said to her and she said, she just needs to get it out now. And I said, listen, what you've produced is really good. I've seen people who paid people to do their websites and they're worse than what you've done. So there is nothing wrong. It can go live as is now. And I think. Like I said, that that's the kind of thing that stops people. So that's the first thing to recognize. Am I saying something can't happen because I'm scared and because I'm actually fearful of what might happen, but I'm actually making every excuse under the sun. So if you identify, and you might need to work with someone to help you identify this, but if you identify that actually I'm just a little bit scared of what's gonna happen, I want you to. Well, let me go back. I wanna explain something. So have you ever read The Chimp Paradox? So I did this in a talk recently and I dunno whether I've talked about it on the podcast, but if I have, I Well, I say I apologize. I don't...