I Find Myself Enjoying the Passage of Time

This is the second article for our August theme of ‘Flourishing’.Week 1 - I Thought Flourishing Was Only for the Most Successful PeopleTo flourish, we need to be present.We can remember the past and look ahead to the future, but life itself is happening here, in this moment.In the 1977 song ‘Secret O’Life’, James Taylor wrote ‘The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time’.Taylor is talking about enjoying each moment as it passes.This is mindfulness, and it is how we flourish in life.The philosopher Alan Watts said something similar. ‘The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple.’I took an 8-week mindfulness course years ago. The biggest change I noticed after completing the course was that everything looked brighter. It was so weird, but the sky actually looked bluer and the clouds fluffier. I started noticing things I had never paid any attention to before.This was at a time when I was still working, still chasing success and never stopping to look around. I nearly didn’t even take the course because it took up a full 90 minutes of my precious time every week. I kept thinking I needed to wait until I had more time.Which was exactly why I needed the course.When we are always looking aheadWe achieve a big goal. It feels great, because this is what we have been working towards.Winning the race, getting the promotion, the lavish wedding, buying the big house. We achieve them, and for a while we feel the satisfaction of having arrived. Then we think, ‘What’s next?’We are encouraged to always be winning and to always be looking for the next shiny object. Life moves on so fast, we are missing parts of it.The magic of being present is that we begin to notice the small moments of joy that were there all along, moments that make us feel the beauty of simply being alive.On any given day, there are countless moments when we can pause to notice small joys.* The smile on the face of someone you love.* Finding something to laugh at.* A smile from a stranger.* Watching clouds, birds, bees, or people going about their day.* The smell of a flower, or the scent of that person you love.* A cool breeze on your face as you walk along a country lane.* Listening to a song that takes you back to a beautiful memory.* The warmth of your morning cuppa.* The relief that comes from getting home after a difficult day.Noticing these ordinary moments opens the door to flourishing.Flourishing is never a dramatic moment that arrives with a bang.It is the growing ability to return to yourself and to the present moment, even when life pulls you away.Maybe this is why flourishing can be so difficult to recognise. Like most meaningful change, it happens quietly.Real change happens quietlyLasting change happens slowly over time. You will never reach the point where you are always confident, never worry, and have your life completely sorted out.Life is full of challenges. It is also full of beautiful moments.Real change is almost invisible.I spent years building my confidence, and now, when I look back, I cannot pinpoint the moment I became confident.Yet I am.What I notice is the ways I act differently now:* A disappointment no longer crushes me.* I trust my own decisions.* There is no urge to apologise for being myself.* I rarely replay a conversation now, wondering where I went wrong.* I laugh at myself more and ask for help when I need it.* Rest is an important part of my day that I no longer feel guilty for.* I have no need to explain or prove myself to anyone.* I am grateful for each ordinary day.I didn’t notice most of these changes as they happened. I noticed them afterwards.My confidence grew quietly in the background as I became more aware of how I spoke to myself, embraced love, kindness and gratitude, strengthened my self-belief and learned to trust myself.I wasn’t chasing confidence. I was creating the conditions for it to grow.Perhaps that’s one of the clearest signs of flourishing. We stop constantly measuring our progress and start living the life we’ve been creating.Flourishing is not measured by what you have achieved in life. There is no finishing line to cross. Instead, you gradually settle into a life that fits you. A life aligned with your true self.Perhaps one day you look around and realise you are here.As yourself.In this moment.And you know that you are home.Questions to reflect on* What feels easier today than it did a year ago?* Which small changes have become so normal that you hardly notice them?* Where are you treating yourself with more kindness?* If someone who knew you five years ago met you today, what changes might they notice?I am writing a book on living in alignment and flourishing in your life. If you find this interesting, stay with me on my journey.Much loveSue xxConfidence Matters by Sue Reid is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit suereid.substack.com/subscribe