“I have a police record. What do I tell girls?” – Heartiste

If you are truly worried that your police record will cost you lays and love, you should consider the misinformation move. Just toss out a nickname you go by so that she can’t find your record online. If, at some distant future date, you and her are still together, you may reveal the full extent of your badass-ness. It will be like love is blossoming all over again for her. She will remember the moment as possibly the greatest gift a man has ever given her.