I miss my sick body….now what?

I know my eating disorder was hurting me. I know I wasn’t healthy. I know recovery was necessary.And yet… sometimes I still miss the body I had when I was sick.I miss how small I felt. I miss recognizing myself in pictures. I miss clothes fitting the way they used to. And sometimes I feel guilty for even admitting that.This episode is about the part of recovery that doesn’t get talked about enough: grieving your ED body while knowing you can never go back to it.Because missing the way your body looked doesn’t mean you miss the disorder. It doesn’t mean you want to be sick again. And it doesn’t mean you’re failing at recovery.Sometimes you can be incredibly grateful that you chose recovery and still be heartbroken over what you lost along the way.