IHSTS - Ep. 04 - Who the F*ck Are You, Anyway

Identity. It's not just a buzzword — it's the lens through which you experience everything. For the first time ever, Megan brings a guest to the couch: fellow therapist and president of the Kankakee Area LGBTQ Network, Matt Hedding-Hess. Together they dig into intersectionality — the idea that you're never just one thing — and why understanding the many identities that make up who you are actually matters for your mental health, your relationships, and how you move through the world.They unpack why labels exist (and why pretending we don't use them is bullshit), what privilege really means, why you can't leave parts of yourself at the door, and how co-creating safety — for yourself and others — is one of the most radical things you can do.Whether you've never thought about your own identity or you're someone who's had to fight to have yours recognized — this one is for you.Key Timestamps[00:25] Intro: Meet Guest Matt Hedding-Hess[01:08] What Is Intersectionality, Really?[03:22] Identity, Feedback & Knowing Your Core Self[04:23] Why We Label — And Why Pretending We Don't Is Bullshit[06:52] Do You Have to See a Therapist Who Looks Like You?[08:35] Safety, Not Just Similarity: What Actually Matters[09:38] Cultural Humility & the Real Harm of Getting It Wrong[13:55] Knowing Your Biases — Even As a Therapist[16:27] You Can't Leave Parts of Yourself at the Door[18:51] Co-Creating Space vs. Deciding What Space Others Get[20:10] Everyone Has a Sexual Orientation — Yes, Even You[21:37] Reflection Questions for Your Own Identity Work[24:01] Takeaways: Bring Your Whole Self — If It's SafeStandout Quotes"We are a conglomeration of lots of identities converging in one individual self.""There are 7 billion people in the world and probably 7 billion different identities.""You can't just be one thing in one place — the shit that makes me who I am at work makes me who I am everywhere.""If we all ask how do we make safety where I'm privileged, and ask for what we need — we can change a lot of shit."Therapist's Toolkit3 Identity Reflection Questions:Which identity do I think about most on a daily basis — and why?Which part of my identity do I not think about, hide, or feel shame around?How am I making space for other people's full identity wheel?ResourcesSocial Identity WheelKankakee Area LGBTQ NetworkRise & Thrive WellnessCrisis Support988 — Suicide & Crisis LifelineText HOME to 741741 — Crisis Text LineTrevor Project (LGBTQ+ Youth): 1-866-488-7386 | TrevorLifeline.orgFind a Therapist: Psychology Today | SAMHSA Treatment LocatorConnect With Us📧 [email protected] 📱 Instagram: @ihavesh_ttosay | TikTok: IHaveSh_tToSay | YouTube: www.youtube.com/@ihavesh_ttosay ⭐ Rate & review to help others find the podcast!CreditsHost: Megan Campbell, LCPC, ATR-BCGuest: Matt Hedding-Hess, Psychotherapist & President, Kankakee Area LGBTQ NetworkExecutive Producer: Brian T PrairieOperations Manager: MacKenzie CloyNew episodes every two weeks on Tuesday mornings at 5am. Subscribe so you never miss one!Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. If you're in crisis or need personalized support, please contact a licensed mental health professional.