IHSTS - Ep. 09 - Stop Calling It Independent — Let's Talk Community

We throw the word "community" around a lot. But do we actually know how to build it — or what's getting in our way? In this first-ever two-guest episode, Megan sits down with two powerhouse community builders, Barbi Watson and Becca Parks, for a real conversation about what community means, why so many of us are quietly lonely, and what it actually takes to find your people.They dig into the difference between showing up online versus showing up in real life, why introverts and extroverts need community differently (but equally), how emotional intelligence is the backbone of any real connection, and when community turns toxic. Plus: a frank conversation about conflict, accountability, and why being "nice" might be the thing destroying your community from the inside out.Less civility, more vulnerability — this episode is for you.Key Timestamps[00:00] Welcome & Introducing the Two Bees — Barbi Watson and Becca Parks[02:19] Check-In Question: Wild Notes on Our Phones[09:20] What Community Actually Means to Each of Them[13:50] Barbi Watson on Connection, Resources & Building Your Self-Care Team[15:24] Becca on Showing Up, Social Justice Book Club & Kankakee[17:49] Do We Actually Need Community? (The Introvert/Extrovert Debate)[23:55] Energy Givers, Energy Vampires & the Neutrals[26:09] Community-Building Tips for Introverts[29:44] Emotional Intelligence as the Foundation of Real Connection[33:37] When Community Becomes Toxic — Conflict, Power & Accountability[43:14] Nice vs. Kind, Running Out of F*cks & Older Women Who Know[51:30] Personal Responsibility, Shame & Naming What You Feel[58:30] Self-Compassion, Boundaries & Owning Your Shit[01:03:34] Takeaways: Know Your Strengths, Ask for Help & Start with the Emotion WheelStandout Quotes"Less civility, more vulnerability. Let's stop being civil and stop being nice. Let's start being real with each other.""You are one person away from something amazing. That's how I feel about it.""Your gifts are not everybody else's gifts. Know your strengths, know your weaknesses, and find people whose strengths fill in where yours don't."Therapist's Toolkit3 Community Questions:1. Am I isolating because I need rest — or because I'm afraid to be seen?2. Who in my life gives me energy, and who drains it? Am I being intentional about both?3. When I show up in conflict, is my goal to be understood — or to change someone else's behavior?ResourcesHow We Feel App (free emotional check-in tool — all 52 emotions, shareable with your community)Emotion WheelRise & Thrive Wellness Events — riseandthrivewellness.netCrisis Support988 - Suicide Prevention LifelineText HOME to 741741 - Crisis Text LineFind a Therapist: Psychology Today | SAMHSA Treatment LocatorRise & Thrive Wellness: riseandthrivewellness.netConnect With UsHave a topic you want us to cover? Questions about community or other mental health topics? We'd love to hear from you!* Submit topic ideas: [email protected]* Follow us: * Instagram: @ihavesh_ttosay * TikTok: IHaveSh_tToSay * YouTube: www.youtube.com/@ihavesh_ttosay* Rate & Review: Help others find the podcast by leaving a reviewCreditsPodcast Host: Megan Campbell, LCPC, ATR-BCPodcast Executive Producer: Brian T PrairiePodcast Operations Manager: MacKenzie CloyNew episodes drop every two weeks on Tuesday mornings at 5 am. Subscribe so you never miss an episode!Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. If you're in crisis or need personalized support, please contact a licensed mental health professional.