In Conversation with Dan Pink

I met Dan Pink several years ago when we were both writing books in Nantucket. He is a diligent, “stone mason” (by his definition) kind of writer. He creates thorough documents, tight cases for his topics, and his attitude is that we wants to learn new things and not write about what he already knows. As a guest speaker for me in my Thought Leadership conference, I remarked that he had a law degree but never practiced law for a single day and so he was a fine guy. I made coffee come out of his nose, which may be a real distinction. But be prepared for that session by checking on the backgrounds and web sites of my 20 participants. That’s how careful and methodical he is. I love his book, To Sell is Human, and this newest one, Regrets, is equally fascinating. You’ll hear us talk about four kinds of regrets, a personal regret of mine, and how, perhaps, Frank Sinatra was somewhat disingenuous in “My Way.” We discuss “at leasts” and “if onlys” which is a kind of rationalization about the consequences of regrets. And you’ll find us in agreement about the tendency of regrets (and stress and guilt) to drain energy and mask talent. Dan assures me I’m not a psychopath, which is reassuring, since I deal with guilt very positively. And we note the difference between guilt and shame, the latter of which pummels self-esteem.