In our normal ego consciousness we don't necessarily feel these other forces of consciousness

I think I was going to say that if for example I grew up and never knew how to use my arm and then some kind of energy came in and showed me how to use my arm it would feel weird at first to have this energy like moving my arm in different ways and then it went away but then I knew how to use my arm so then I didn't have to any longer have this energy sort of directing and guiding that learning process it was made part of my embodied self I feel like in the same way that this energy comes in and map consciousness and sort of as directing us in different ways and making us behave in different ways in order to sort of show us the way and then the energy goes away and it's up to us to work towards being that way and it's not really working towards being that way because in the process of being that way and learning with the universal energy we see the absolute necessity to be that way and so it's like it's sort of like gravity sitting on this couch right now I'm under the effects of gravity but I don't really think about it I don't sense it really unless I actually think about it but if I was falling out of a tree I would be very aware of gravity so it's something that's always there but it's just a matter of we only feel it in certain contacts so in our normal ego consciousness we don't necessarily feel these other forces because it's like sitting on a couch we just it's just part of the experience and we're used to it but being in that other consciousness is like being in the field of consciousness as opposed to the field of the ego and it's like really feeling the field of consciousness because normally we're just in the field of our limited thought structures and on page 112 I like this bit he says so how does our habitual thinking take us out of the present moment by creating thought objects that take us into the future or past these thought objects can take a variety of forms remembering anxiety toxic goals worrying blah blah blah I just like the I like the idea of thought objects because even though they're very subtle they're still objects and by making it an object we're actually placing ourselves in the past or the future we are the object we are the thought object in those moments and so we are in the past or the future in those moments and he says the future and the past or thought generated illusions illusions that we experience in the here now but that goes along with what I was saying about how thinking is delusional it is a hallucination and another thing he talks about is how meditation has nothing to do with sitting cross-legged staring at the wall it's something that happens in daily life one thing I thought about was how am I using the present moment or how's my energy being channeled or divided in the present moment so if it's going into thought forms it's actually sort of dividing itself and channeling it into these thought forms and that's part of the waste of energy process and in terms of how am I using the present moment sort of implies duality in a way could be more like how's the present moment using me and there is no real me so it's like how sort of like however I am in the present moment is how I am or Who I am lately I've had this subtle gentle profound sense of gratitude and it's not like a practice of gratitude where I wake up and think about what I'm grateful for which is valuable to a certain extent but it's still an abstraction but I have a sense when I'm in the shower that I just feel so grateful that I have a shower to shower in and a toilet to go to the washroom in and a place to live in besides the noise but the last couple of weeks it's been quieter because of the snow and I I don't know if that's how I felt a little bit more this actual state of gratitude it feels like a state of gratitude as opposed to a feeling and it's not like I'm in the shower and I'm thinking I'm so grateful that I'm showering it's this subtle perception of just feeling really grateful for having a shower and to