Influence Isn’t About Winning

Influence is one of the most misunderstood skills in leadership. We often think it means pushing harder, building a stronger case, or winning the room. In reality, influence usually begins in a much quieter place… in the pause that helps you manage your own reaction.In this episode of Let’s Talk, People, Emily Frieze-Kemeny sits down with Courtney Michener Miller, Head of Learning at AstraZeneca, a global biopharmaceutical organization with more than 94,000 employees worldwide. Courtney leads enterprise learning and development across sales, market access, and medical functions, bringing deep experience navigating influence within complex, global systems.Together, Emily and Courtney unpack what influence really requires: pausing before you push, separating identity from ideas and outcomes, and respecting the broader context your leaders may be carrying. They explore how to influence up without escalating unnecessarily, why “less is more” in high-stakes forums, and how to lead with both data and solutions instead of conviction alone. Whether you’re influencing up, sideways, or within your own team, this conversation will help you stay grounded in your sphere of agency, influence, and acceptance to lead with greater clarity, composure, and effectiveness.Timestamps: [00:06:12] Pause Before You Push – Emily and Courtney unpack how many influence moments start in emotional reaction- frustration, defensiveness, or feeling excluded. They explore why effective influence begins with pausing, gaining perspective, and identifying what’s actually within your control before deciding how to respond.[00:12:28] Influence Up with Data, Solutions, and Respect – Courtney emphasizes the importance of leading with both data and solution, not just conviction. Together, she and Emily discuss doing a quick risk assessment, respecting the broader pressures your boss may be carrying, and bringing forward thoughtful recommendations rather than complaints.[00:14:49] The Power of the “Meeting Before the Meeting” – Emily introduces the concept of setting context with your boss before escalating an issue, aligning on tone, goals, and expectations. She and Courtney explore when to bring a subject matter expert into the room, how to prepare them, and how this pre-alignment strengthens influence rather than creating resistance.[00:21:59] Influence Isn’t Winning, It’s Leading Anyway – Emily and Courtney reflect on the idea that influence doesn’t always mean getting your way. Sometimes leadership chooses a different path, and your job shifts. They explore what it means to control the controllables and put on your “consultant hat” to add value without over-identifying with the outcome.Access the episode transcript.Join the Conversation: This year we’re taking audience questions! Send in your toughest people management and leadership challenges, and we’ll anonymize them and tackle them in an upcoming episode. Email Abigail on our Let’s Talk, People team with your situation as a written note or voice memo to [email protected] with Emily Frieze-Kemeny on LinkedIn and Instagram or explore her work through AROSE Group’s website.If you'd like to receive new episodes as they're published, please subscribe to Let’s Talk, People in Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a 5-star rating on Apple Podcasts. It helps others discover the show.Thanks for listening to Let’s Talk, People!