How to Practice Intentional Optimism (with Andrea Johnson)

My guest calls herself "terminally curious," and by the time you hear her story you'll understand why intentional optimism had to become her life's work. Andrea Johnson survived a 12-week inpatient program for bulimia and depression at 20, gastric bypass surgery not once but twice in three weeks (she snuck a shrimp when she wasn't supposed to), seventeen moves before she turned 21, and the loss of her mother to breast cancer. Her answer to all of it isn't sunny, toxic positivity. It's a taproot. Andrea grew up on a mission compound in Seoul, South Korea, a third culture kid at an international school with 65 nationalities walking the same halls, which is where she learned a rule she still teaches executives today: the onus of communicating your message is on the communicator, not the listener. Now an executive and founder empowerment coach and a certified DISC consultant, she talks with me about the "taproot" she coaches clients to grow, meaning a rooted enough sense of who you are that criticism can't uproot you, and about the six tenets of intentional optimism she built out of watching her mother die well. We also get into the question I couldn't NOT ask her: what do you do with a relationship to someone who's consistently dysfunctional and shows no sign of changing? Andrea's answer starts with knowing who you are before you ever decide whether to stay. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gyVg1pbdu4 In this episode How growing up a third culture kid on a mission compound in Seoul taught Andrea a communication rule she still teaches: it's on you to make yourself understood, not on the other person to work harder at listening Why gastric bypass surgery became the physical tool she needed after seven years of therapy couldn't get her weight off alone, and the shrimp mistake that landed her back in surgery three weeks later The "taproot" analogy for building a sense of self deep enough that other people's opinions can't blow you over What intentional optimism actually means, and why it's not the same thing as toxic positivity How watching her mother die with grace at 50 pushed Andrea to stop being unfulfilled and build a business around her own values Her advice for staying grounded in a relationship with someone who is consistently dysfunctional and isn't going anywhere Timestamps (00:01) Welcome and guest intro: meet executive and founder coach Andrea Johnson (01:20) "Here I stand": Andrea's opening on being healthy, happy, and fulfilled after a long journey (03:22) Growing up a third culture kid on a mission compound in Seoul, South Korea (09:15) The communication lesson: wanting to be understood vs. actually listening (10:23) The taproot analogy for a rooted sense of self (13:55) Soothing loneliness and fear with food, and the 12-week inpatient program at 20 (18:01) Deciding on gastric bypass surgery, and doing it twice in three weeks (21:58) "I can do really hard things": measuring new struggles against old ones (25:30) Where intentional optimism was born: her mother's death from breast cancer (29:08) The six tenets of intentional optimism (32:42) Using the tenets when the dysfunctional person in your life isn't going anywhere (38:54) Where to find Andrea and The Intentional Optimist About Andrea Johnson Andrea Johnson empowers executives and founders to lead with authenticity, conviction, and confidence. A third culture kid raised on the mission field in Seoul, South Korea, she's also a certified DISC consultant with the Maxwell team, a behavioral analysis speaker trainer and coach, and the founder of The Intentional Optimist, a framework of six tenets for living with hope, presence, and resilience. Learn more at Andrea's website, where you can find the free rundown of her six tenets. Favorite quotes "Here I stand, right? Here I am. I am healthy. I am happy. I am fulfilled. I am doing work that I love." —Andrea Johnson "No step is wasted." —Andrea Johnson "I can do really hard things. I can do hard things. I can fall down. I can get back up." —Andrea Johnson Resources mentioned TheIntentionalOptimist.com: Andrea's website, home to her six tenets of intentional optimism Stephen Covey's "seek first to understand, then be understood" principle, which Andrea references as a foundation of her wisdom tenet Related episodes Weathering the Storm: Resiliency, Grit, and Antifragility: more on building the kind of inner root system Andrea calls a taproot, so life's storms bend you instead of uprooting you. Food, Love, Hate, and Your Body: another guest's honest story of the relationship between body, food, and emotional survival, a companion to Andrea's own journey through bulimia and gastric bypass. Boundaries – Why Can't I Set Them?: pairs with Andrea's taproot idea, digging into why internal boundaries are so hard to hold onto in dysfunctional relationships. 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