Is It Normal to Prefer My Mom Over My Mother-in-Law Postpartum?

A follower asked a question that hits a very real postpartum pressure point: is it normal to feel more comfortable with your own mom than with your mother-in-law after having a baby? Dr. Tracy zooms out to name what many families miss. Postpartum isn’t a time when most new moms are optimizing for “fair” or “equal.” They’re optimizing for safety, familiarity, care, and nervous-system comfort while navigating sleep deprivation, vulnerability, and a brand-new identity shift.She explains why this preference often has less to do with loyalty and more to do with history: years of established boundaries, repairs, and “I can be fully myself” experiences with your own parent. With a mother-in-law, that foundation often isn’t there yet, and the stakes feel higher when you’re already stretched thin. Dr. Tracy also names how much depends on how the mother-in-law shows up. Supportive, respectful, helpful energy builds trust. Controlling, dismissive, or “make it about me” energy creates distance fast.The takeaway: postpartum boundaries are not a personal rejection. They’re a way to protect the new mom and the couple so relationships can stay connected long-term. When families stop comparing, stop keeping score, and start respecting the couple’s “we,” everyone has a better chance at feeling included in a way that actually works. 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. 🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? Is your partner defensive?  Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner. Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you.. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices