Dear Dr. Tracy

With the release of their new joint memoir, I’m Going to Break Your Heart: A Rock N Roll Love Story, and their upcoming fall tour, this conversation with Raine Maida and Chantal Kreviazuk feels especially timely to revisit.In this intimate conversation, Dr. Tracy sits down with the Canadian musicians and longtime partners to talk about the real work of long-term love: marriage, family, therapy, creativity, conflict, repair, and the choice to keep turning toward each other through the messier seasons of life.Together, they explore the story behind their documentary I’m Going to Break Your Heart the “burnt chicken” moment that revealed deeper invisible labor dynamics, and how everyday micro-heartbreaks can quietly shape connection over time. They also talk about maximizer / minimizer patterns, men’s resistance to therapy, the power of reframing therapy as coaching, and why interdependence, not perfection, is the foundation of lasting partnership.You’ll hear how Raine and Chantal use tools like CPR (Catch, Pause, Repair), eye-gazing, and intentional autonomy to stay connected through parenting, touring, hormonal shifts, and the evolving seasons of a decades-long relationship.If you’ve ever felt alone in the messiness of marriage, this episode is a reminder that even the strongest relationships are built through rupture, repair, honesty, and the willingness to keep choosing each other. New Book: I’m Going to Break Your Heart: A Rock N Roll Love Story.I’m Going to Break Your Heart / Break Your Heart TourI’m Going to Break Your Heart.Learn more about Raine Maida and his band Our Lady Peace Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Major life transitions can make even strong couples feel disconnected, reactive, and unlike themselves.In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Greg record from their new office after moving homes and reflect on what this season taught them about stress, partnership, and staying connected through change. From buying, selling, staging, packing, moving, and settling in, they talk about how stress can amplify old stories, trigger protective patterns, and make your partner look like the problem when really, the transition itself is putting pressure on both of you.Dr. Tracy and Greg explore why it helps to assume positive intent, ask “What’s best for us?” instead of “Who’s right?”, and remember that different does not always mean wrong. They also talk about the importance of emotional check-ins, small rituals, involving kids in transition, and planning for the aftermath, because the stress does not magically end on moving day.Whether you are moving, welcoming a baby, navigating a health change, starting something new, or coming out of a major life shift, this episode is a reminder not to define your relationship by who you both are on the hardest days. 🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.  Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you. Get your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here.  Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. Grab my first book I Didn’t Sign Up for This Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Free Resource: Challenge Your Assumptions and Perceptions Get exclusive 1:1 support with Dr. Tracy. Find out more here..   Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Is your partner defensive?  Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do when your partner keeps bidding for connection at the worst possible times, or in ways that feel irritating, inconvenient, or hard to receive?In this episode, Dr. Tracy answers a listener question that starts with annoying bids for connection, but quickly reveals something deeper: emotional safety. Because sometimes the issue is not the bid itself. It is the history underneath it. Your partner may be reaching for closeness, but if your vulnerability has been dismissed, exposed, used against you, or left unprotected in family conflict, that bid can feel less like connection and more like a request to open up where it has not felt safe.Dr. Tracy explores the difference between connection and emotional safety, why avoidance is not neutral, and how passivity in conflict can leave one partner carrying the emotional weight alone. She also shares what repair can look like when trust has been damaged: naming the pattern, asking for consistent follow-through, and creating a structure for returning to hard conversations instead of making promises just to end discomfort.Because your partner’s bid may be an attempt to connect, and you are not required to offer vulnerability where vulnerability has repeatedly been mishandled. 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.  Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you. Get your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here.  🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. Grab my first book I Didn’t Sign Up for This Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Free Resource: Challenge Your Assumptions and Perceptions Get exclusive 1:1 support with Dr. Tracy. Find out more here..   Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Is your partner defensive?  Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

One of the hardest parts of mother-in-law conflict is that the thing you want most, accountability, can become the very thing keeping you stuck.In this short episode, Dr. Tracy talks to the daughter-in-law who has tried to explain, repair, clarify, and get her mother-in-law to finally understand the hurt she caused. It makes sense to want accountability, ownership, and responsibility. But when someone repeatedly shows that they do not have the capacity or willingness to offer it, continuing to chase that acknowledgment can leave your peace in someone else’s hands.Dr. Tracy explores the shift from “How do I get her to understand me?” to “Knowing what I know now, how do I want to show up?” Because acceptance is not approval, and it is not pretending the hurt did not happen. It is seeing reality clearly enough to make grounded decisions about your boundaries, your access, your family gatherings, your partner’s support, and the relationship you want to have with yourself. 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ 🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you. Grab my first book I Didn’t Sign Up for This Get your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here.  Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.  Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Free Resource: Challenge Your Assumptions and Perceptions Get exclusive 1:1 support with Dr. Tracy. Find out more here..   Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Is your partner defensive?  Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why does someone who longs for closeness often come across as critical, demanding, or angry?In this episode, Dr. Tracy looks at the other side of the defensiveness cycle: the partner who brings things up, reaches for connection, pushes for repair, and then gets labelled as “too angry,” “too much,” “controlling,” or “a nag.” But underneath that criticism is often something much more tender: a protest against disconnection.Dr. Tracy explores why criticism can become a nervous system strategy, especially when someone has learned that if they do not push, nothing changes. She explains how the pursuit for connection can turn into over-explaining, piling on examples, sending more texts, or trying to force reassurance in the moment, and why that often pushes a withdrawing or defensive partner even further away.This conversation is not about blaming the partner who pursues. It is about understanding the cycle, naming the deeper longing underneath the anger, and learning to ask: "Can I stay connected to myself while I wait for my partner?" 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you. Grab my first book I Didn’t Sign Up for This Get your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here.  🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.  Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Free Resource: Challenge Your Assumptions and Perceptions Get exclusive 1:1 support with Dr. Tracy. Find out more here..   Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Is your partner defensive?  Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The mental load isn’t just about who does more chores. It’s about the invisible planning, tracking, noticing, anticipating, and remembering that keeps a family and relationship running.In this episode, Dr. Tracy shares real moments from her marriage with Greg, from tracking naps with a newborn to wiping kitchen counters while 1,000 tabs open in her brain, and explores why the mental load can create so much resentment in long-term relationships.She breaks down why “just tell me how to help” often keeps one partner in the manager role, how the over-functioner / under-functioner dynamic impacts desire and intimacy, and why the deeper feeling underneath resentment is often fear: *Am I going to be alone in this forever?*Dr. Tracy also offers an important distinction between a perception problem and a values problem, and explains why many partners don’t refuse to carry the mental load, they simply don’t yet see it. From there, she shares practical ways couples can make the invisible visible, transfer whole domains instead of tiny tasks, and start approaching the mental load as a team instead of opponents. 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you. Grab my first book I Didn’t Sign Up for This 🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.  Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Free Resource: Challenge Your Assumptions and Perceptions Get your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here.   Get exclusive 1:1 support with Dr. Tracy. Find out more here..   Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Is your partner defensive?  Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever feel like being misunderstood doesn’t just hurt, it sends your whole nervous system into shutdown?In this short episode, Dr. Tracy reflects on a powerful insight about highly sensitive people and highly sensitive children: sometimes the hardest part isn’t being perceived, it’s being perceived wrongly. She explores why the fear of being misunderstood can lead to over-explaining, rereading texts, defending your intentions, or trying desperately to prove that you meant well.Dr. Tracy also names the deeper work underneath it all: learning to remind yourself that being misunderstood may be uncomfortable, but it is not always dangerous. Instead of abandoning yourself to control someone else’s perception of you, what might change if you comforted the part of you that is afraid of being misread? 🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.  One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you. Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Free Resource: Challenge Your Assumptions and Perceptions Get your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here.   Get exclusive 1:1 support with Dr. Tracy. Find out more here..   Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Is your partner defensive?  Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever tried to tell your partner something and realized they were only half-listening because they were on their phone?In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Greg talk about phubbing, the habit of snubbing someone with your phone, and how it quietly disrupts connection in romantic relationships. It might not look like a big fight. It might just look like sitting side by side in bed, scrolling, missing each other’s bids for connection one tiny moment at a time.They explore why phones are so hard to put down, how they create silent distance between partners, and why even a phone sitting face up on the table can pull attention away from the person in front of you.Dr. Tracy and Greg also share practical ways to interrupt the pattern, including building small connection rituals, catching one bid for connection each day, and asking directly for the attention you need without turning it into criticism.Because the goal isn’t to become perfect with your phone.It’s to notice when the screen is becoming easier than the relationship, and choose one small moment of turning toward each other again. 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Learn to turn towards your partner instead of the phone.  ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.  One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you. Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Free Resource: Challenge Your Assumptions and Perceptions Get your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here.   Get exclusive 1:1 support with Dr. Tracy. Find out more here..   Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Is your partner defensive?  Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You said the hard thing. You set the boundary, sent the text, spoke up in the meeting, or finally named what had gone unspoken. So why can’t you stop replaying it afterward?Dr. Tracy explores why courage does not always come with immediate relief. Even when you know you acted thoughtfully and in line with your values, your nervous system may still be on high alert, searching for a way to make the discomfort go away.She shares why guilt, uncertainty, and the need to be understood can pull us into over-explaining, justifying, and sending one more message. Then, she offers a grounding practice for the spiral: notice what your mind is trying to make happen, remember that the job is already done, and return to the anchor: **the message has already been sent.**Speaking up is one part of the work. Learning to stay with the discomfort afterward is the next. 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ 🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.  One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you. Free Resource: Challenge Your Assumptions and Perceptions Get your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here.   Get exclusive 1:1 support with Dr. Tracy. Find out more here..   Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Is your partner defensive?  Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do some people shut down when they're hurt while others immediately criticize, blame, or demand a response?In this episode, Dr. Tracy introduces two common ways people respond to emotional pain: internalizing and externalizing.When something difficult happens in a relationship, some people turn inward, questioning themselves, minimizing their needs, or carrying the hurt alone. Others turn outward, focusing on what their partner did wrong and expressing their pain through criticism, frustration, or blame.The challenge is that neither approach helps us communicate the deeper feelings underneath.Dr. Tracy explores how these patterns show up in relationships, why they often create disconnection, and how understanding your default response can help you communicate more effectively with your partner.This episode is a powerful follow-up to last week's conversation about defensiveness and offers another lens for understanding the negative cycles that keep couples stuck. 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. 🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.  One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you. Free Resource: Challenge Your Assumptions and Perceptions Get your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here.   Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Get exclusive 1:1 support with Dr. Tracy. Find out more here..   Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Is your partner defensive?  Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you've ever walked away from a conversation feeling like your concerns got completely lost in your partner's defensiveness, this episode is for you.Dr. Tracy shares a real-life conversation she recently had with Greg and breaks down exactly what happened when a difficult discussion could have spiraled into their old negative cycle, but didn't.Instead of focusing on how to change a defensive partner, this episode explores what you can do when defensiveness shows up, how to stay grounded in your experience, and how to keep the conversation focused on impact rather than intention.In This Episode:•Why defensiveness isn't always manipulation or gaslighting•How couples accidentally lose the original issue•The difference between impact and intent•Why repair requires taking turns•What assertiveness sounds like in real conversations•The exact phrases Dr. Tracy used with Greg•How to stop getting pulled into the cycleYou'll also learn why boundaries don't have to shut conversations down and how delaying a conversation can sometimes protect connection rather than damage it.If you're tired of conversations that leave you feeling unseen, unheard, or stuck defending your own experience, this episode offers a practical roadmap for navigating defensiveness without losing yourself in the process. 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.  One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you. Free Resource: Challenge Your Assumptions and Perceptions 🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? Free Resource: Challenge Your Assumptions and Perceptions Get your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here.   Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Get exclusive 1:1 support with Dr. Tracy. Find out more here..   Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Is your partner defensive?  Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever assumed you already knew how your partner was going to react? In this special episode, Greg takes over the mic to share a husband's perspective on one of the biggest traps couples fall into: getting stuck in outdated stories about the people we love. Drawing from his own experiences navigating marriage, parenting, dirt biking, golf, and family life, Greg explores how old assumptions can quietly create resentment, avoidance, and disconnection. If you've ever caught yourself thinking:"I already know how this conversation is going to go.""There's no point bringing it up.""Why bother asking?"...this episode is for you. 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Free Resource: Challenge Your Assumptions and Perceptions 🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. Get your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here.   One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you. Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Get exclusive 1:1 support with Dr. Tracy. Find out more here..   Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.  Is your partner defensive?  Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever found yourself upset with your partner... only to realize the entire argument happened inside your head?We all do it.Your partner sighs. They seem distant. They forget something important. Before they've even said a word, your mind has already filled in the blanks.In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Greg explore the stories we tell ourselves about our partners and how those assumptions can quietly create conflict, disconnection, and misunderstanding.You'll learn:•Why your brain creates stories about your partner•How assumptions fuel relationship conflict•The difference between perception and reality•Why negative stories stick more than positive ones•How childhood experiences shape the narratives you carry into adulthood•What to do when you catch yourself assuming the worst•The simple question that can help break the cycleThrough personal stories about dirt bikes, painting projects, parenting, and everyday misunderstandings, Dr. Tracy and Greg show how easy it is to react to a story instead of the person standing in front of you.The goal isn't to become a better mind reader; it's to become more curious about the story you're telling yourself.If this episode resonated, share it with someone who tends to overthink, assume the worst, or get caught in relationship stories.(And don't forget to follow the podcast so you never miss an episode!) 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. Get your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here.   Free Resource: Challenge Your Assumptions and Perceptions 🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you. Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Get exclusive 1:1 support with Dr. Tracy. Find out more here..   Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.  Is your partner defensive?  Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever tried to share something vulnerable with your partner… and somehow the conversation turned into an argument?Maybe you’ve said, “I didn’t tell you because I was afraid of your reaction.”It sounds honest. It sounds vulnerable. But is it?In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Greg break down one of the most common communication traps couples fall into: when vulnerability accidentally turns into blame.There’s a powerful difference between saying “I’m afraid you’ll reject me," and, “I’m afraid of your reaction.”One invites connection. The other often invites defensiveness.If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation thinking, “That’s not what I meant,” this episode will help you understand:Why “I’m afraid of your reaction” can escalate conflictThe subtle difference between explaining and being defensiveHow negative cycles get triggered without you realizing itWhy intent and impact matter differently in communicationHow to slow down and identify the softer emotions underneath angerWhat to say instead if you want connection instead of escalationDr. Tracy and Greg also explore how we unintentionally displace our fears onto our partner, and how learning to name rejection, shame, loneliness, or not-enoughness changes everything.Because real vulnerability isn’t about pointing outward; it’s about going inward first.If you want to feel closer instead of stuck in the same argument, this conversation will give you the language to start. 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.  Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Get exclusive 1:1 support with Dr. Tracy. Find out more here. Get your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here.   🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you. Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Get exclusive 1:1 support with Dr. Tracy. Find out more here. Get your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here.   Is your partner defensive?  Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You can know exactly what you want to say, and still lose access to yourself the second the other person gets defensive, spirals, or turns it into guilt and self-flagellation. This episode is about why that happens, and why it’s not actually a “communication problem” at all. Dr. Tracy walks through what’s going on in your nervous system when your face gets hot, your heart pounds, and your words disappear and why “story follows state” matters more than the perfect script.She explores the deeper fears underneath (being misunderstood, becoming the villain, losing the relationship), how attachment patterns shape what you do next (over-explain, collapse, shut down, or people-please), and how differentiation changes everything: staying connected to yourself while someone else is disappointed. Dr. Tracy also shares concrete in-the-moment regulation tools and a simple approach for holding your ground when someone else’s reaction is hard to tolerate as she breaks down how confidence comes after you survive the discomfort enough times to learn: “I can do this and still be okay.” 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Get exclusive 1:1 support with Dr. Tracy. Find out more here. Get your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here.   🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.  Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you. Is your partner defensive?  Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner. Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Couples often get stuck after conflict not because they don’t care, but because the repair never actually lands. Dr. Tracy dives into what she sees in her therapy room: partners getting trapped in their own stories, over-focusing on intent (“I meant well”), and missing the one thing that rebuilds closeness, impact. Real repair starts with seeing the hurt, naming the impact, and staying present long enough for the other person to feel understood.She also normalizes why repair is so hard for most of us: almost nobody watched their parents actually repair, so we’re trying to build a skill without a blueprint. Dr. Tracy walks through questions you can ask your partner about how conflict was handled in their home, why eye contact and emotional safety matter, and how attachment styles shape who reaches for repair first. The goal isn’t perfection, it’s learning how to come back to each other in a way that restores trust and connection. 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.  Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you. 🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Is your partner defensive?  Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner. Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Couples often get stuck after conflict not because they don’t care, but because the repair never actually lands. Dr. Tracy dives into what she sees in her therapy room: partners getting trapped in their own stories, over-focusing on intent (“I meant well”), and missing the one thing that rebuilds closeness, impact. Real repair starts with seeing the hurt, naming the impact, and staying present long enough for the other person to feel understood.She also normalizes why repair is so hard for most of us: almost nobody watched their parents actually repair, so we’re trying to build a skill without a blueprint. Dr. Tracy walks through questions you can ask your partner about how conflict was handled in their home, why eye contact and emotional safety matter, and how attachment styles shape who reaches for repair first. The goal isn’t perfection, it’s learning how to come back to each other in a way that restores trust and connection. 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.  One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you. 🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Is your partner defensive?  Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner. Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Enmeshment doesn’t usually start with bad intentions, it starts when a parent’s emotional needs quietly get wrapped around their child’s development. Dr. Tracy breaks down what healthy differentiation looks like across the lifespan, and why your child’s autonomy isn’t rejection, it’s growth. The goal isn’t fusion. It’s two separate people who can stay connected without guilt, pressure, or emotional obligation.Using real-life examples (including a moment with her son wanting to go to the park), Dr. Tracy highlights what keeps the parent-child bond secure without turning it into codependency: depersonalizing your child’s needs, not making them responsible for your feelings, maintaining your identity outside of parenting, and supporting their choices even when they’re not the ones you would make. The through-line is simple but not easy: be a safe place to land, not a tether they have to drag. 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ 🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.  Is your partner defensive?  Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner. Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you.. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most couples assume the goal is to “resolve” conflict, but Dr. Tracy and Greg pull the thread on a different truth: 69% of relationship conflict is perpetual. The fight keeps repeating not because you’re broken, but because you’re two different people with different histories, nervous systems, and meanings attached to the same moment (yes, even something as small as boots in the hallway).Together, they break down three common kinds of ruptures and why the repair has to match the injury: daily attunement misses, perpetual problems, and deeper attachment injuries that keep reopening the same page in the relationship. The takeaway isn’t “never fight.” It’s learning what the conflict is really about, and practicing the kind of repair that rebuilds safety, closeness, and trust over time. 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.  Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. 🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? Is your partner defensive?  Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner. Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you.. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A tiny language shift can change the entire temperature of a conversation, especially when you’re juggling parenting, partnership, and the logistics of real life. Dr. Tracy shares a communication “unlock” she and Greg found after repeatedly getting stuck in the same loop: he would say she was going too fast or wasn’t being clear, she’d feel blamed, her deeper “too much” wound would flare, and suddenly the actual topic was gone and the cycle was running the show.The shift was simple but powerful: instead of leading with “you,” Greg started naming his internal experience. “I’m feeling confused,” “I’m not sure I’m following,” “Can we start from the beginning?” When you speak from the inside out, you lower defensiveness, increase clarity, and keep the conversation connected enough to actually move forward. Dr. Tracy also reminds you that having a cycle isn’t the problem, it’s how quickly you can recognize it, pause it, and repair. 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. 🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? Is your partner defensive?  Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner. Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you.. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Becoming a parent doesn’t just add responsibilities, it can light up old protective parts you didn’t even know were running the show: perfectionism, hypervigilance, shame, and that wired feeling of trying to “do it right” so you can finally feel safe. Dr. Cassidy shares a raw early-postpartum story that captures how quickly couples can fuse into survival mode, how easy it is to perform “fine” while falling apart inside, and why so many moms are quietly desperate for one thing: a moment. A margin. A breath of space.Together, Dr. Tracy and Dr. Cassidy unpack the myths that sneak into a relationship after baby like “If he loved me, he would notice,” “She’s always disappointed in me,” “I’m failing,” and “I’m carrying everything.” They talk about why information overload can steal the very space you’re trying to find, how scorekeeping blocks restorative rest, and why protecting tiny margins (even a silent drive or a real shower) can be the beginning of coming back to yourself, and back to each other. 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Pre-order Dr. Cassidy’s Book: Mom Needs a Moment Check out the podcast: Holding Space  🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? Is your partner defensive?  Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner. Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you.. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A follower asked a question that hits a very real postpartum pressure point: is it normal to feel more comfortable with your own mom than with your mother-in-law after having a baby? Dr. Tracy zooms out to name what many families miss. Postpartum isn’t a time when most new moms are optimizing for “fair” or “equal.” They’re optimizing for safety, familiarity, care, and nervous-system comfort while navigating sleep deprivation, vulnerability, and a brand-new identity shift.She explains why this preference often has less to do with loyalty and more to do with history: years of established boundaries, repairs, and “I can be fully myself” experiences with your own parent. With a mother-in-law, that foundation often isn’t there yet, and the stakes feel higher when you’re already stretched thin. Dr. Tracy also names how much depends on how the mother-in-law shows up. Supportive, respectful, helpful energy builds trust. Controlling, dismissive, or “make it about me” energy creates distance fast.The takeaway: postpartum boundaries are not a personal rejection. They’re a way to protect the new mom and the couple so relationships can stay connected long-term. When families stop comparing, stop keeping score, and start respecting the couple’s “we,” everyone has a better chance at feeling included in a way that actually works. 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. 🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? Is your partner defensive?  Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner. Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you.. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A message from Dr. Tracy’s community landed hard: “I’ve stopped bringing things up. Every time I do, my husband gets defensive… and now I feel like a stranger in my own home.” This episode names what so many couples quietly live with: defensiveness doesn’t just derail a conversation, it slowly erodes safety, connection, and the willingness to keep trying. When one partner experiences feedback as an attack, self-protection takes over fast, sharp, automatic, and the other partner eventually stops reaching.Dr. Tracy and Greg break down what defensiveness actually is (a nervous system response, not a personality trait), why it can be so hard to interrupt, and how it often links back to old patterns around shame, repair, and emotional safety. They share simple ways to change the pattern from both sides: how to approach a defensive partner without “upping the ante,” and how to build one sentence that helps you pause, stay curious, and protect the bond instead of protecting your ego. 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Is your partner defensive?  Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner. Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. 🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you.. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠    Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mother’s Day isn’t just about the day. It’s about what the day reveals: who gets prioritized, who gets protected, and who ends up feeling invisible. Dr. Tracy speaks to the painful pattern so many mothers name every year, he celebrates his mother, but doesn’t celebrate his partner, and then the same cycle repeats: she feels unseen, she gets angry, he gets defensive, and the family falls back into old roles that leave the couple feeling farther apart.She offers a different path forward: start by naming who your “we” is and checking in with each other first, release the expectation that one partner should carry both families (especially when kin-keeping has become a heavy, invisible job), and get clear on what would actually feel honoring this year. The goal isn’t perfection or a big production. It’s recognition, relief, and a plan that reduces decision fatigue, so Mother’s Day becomes a moment of connection instead of another loyalty test. 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. 🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you. Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠    Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A long day, a bedtime standoff, and a split-second pivot into “spy crawl” mode becomes the doorway into a bigger truth: connection often returns the moment play enters the room. Dr. Tracy sits down with Dr. Kim Van Dusen (The Parentologist) to unpack why play isn’t just “being silly,” it’s a nervous system tool and a relational skill that lowers power struggles and rebuilds cooperation in real time.Dr. Kim explains how her approach combines play therapy, solution-focused therapy, and positive behavior supports to create more calm, more communication, and more connection, without swinging into harsh punishment or permissive chaos. They talk about why kids connect through play (not logic), how adults lose access to playfulness as they move into productivity mode, and why a playful shift can regulate both parent and child faster than threats, bribes, or lectures. The takeaway lands clearly: play doesn’t require more energy than you have, it often gives it back, and when safety and trust are present, play becomes one of the most effective ways to lead with limits while staying connected. 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Order Dr. Kim's new book: Parenting Through Play HERE Find out more about Kim's work HERE 🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you. Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠    Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A mother-in-law writes in with a hard, honest truth: she loves her daughter-in-law, she’s tried to be warm and welcoming, and she’s still grieving that her son’s wife’s family seems to get the “real” holidays while his side feels like the cordial box-check. Dr. Tracy validates the sadness without turning the daughter-in-law into the villain, and offers a reframe that changes the whole lens: when your child marries, they don’t add a person into your family as much as they leave and build their own. That shift isn’t rejection. It’s the reality of a new family system forming.From there, she holds two truths at once: you don’t get to decide how your son and daughter-in-law prioritize extended family, and you’re still allowed to grieve the relationship you hoped for. The path forward isn’t comparison or silent withdrawal, it’s depersonalizing what you don’t control, dropping the “his side vs her side” scorekeeping, and focusing on what’s possible to co-create now. Dr. Tracy encourages naming desires directly (without pressure), staying relational instead of shutting down, and watching for confirmation bias, the mental habit that only collects evidence that you’re not a priority, even when connection is being offered in other ways. 🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you. Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠    Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Loneliness isn’t just a risk factor for people who live alone anymore. Dr. Tracy and Greg unpack the reality of relational loneliness, the experience of feeling alone inside a long-term partnership, even when you share a home, kids, a schedule, and a couch. Sparked by a striking poll from Dr. Tracy’s community, they name the paradox many couples live inside: you chose partnership hoping you’d never feel lonely again…and then modern marriage delivers a kind of loneliness you didn’t see coming.They explore how this drift happens quietly: missed bids for connection, conversations that shrink into logistics, and the way phones can become a constant, convenient escape hatch that slowly starves emotional intimacy. The point isn’t to blame your partner, it’s to label what’s happening so you can do something about it. Small, consistent rituals (even 10–20 minutes without screens) matter more than grand date nights, especially for parents without built-in support. And if your partner tells you they feel lonely, the invitation is to treat it as a privilege and a warning light, not a personal attack, because naming it early is often what prevents the quiet divorce later. 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Feel closer in under 10 minutes per day.⁠ ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you. Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠  📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Did you catch Justin Bieber at Coachella? When he sang alongside footage of his 13-year-old self, it wasn't just nostalgia — it was a public, vulnerable act of inner child healing. In this short episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish unpacks why that moment landed so hard and what it teaches us about our own healing work. Tracy explores: Why meeting your younger self is powerful healing work How we quietly learn to abandon ourselves growing up Why we meet our struggles with criticism instead of compassion Why Tracy believes adulthood doesn't truly begin until 28 or 29 Why inner child work is never "done" — and why that's the point A gentle invitation to approach your younger self the way Justin approached his on that stage — with a quiet "I see you. I'm here." 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Check out this episode: Is That Really You…or Your Inner Child 🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you. Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠    Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Some couples don’t get stuck because they don’t love each other, they get stuck because their nervous systems keep pulling them into the same protective dance. Dr. Tracy and Greg unpack their own cycle in real time: avoidance and “giving space” on one side, protest and pursuit on the other, and how quickly it can turn into defensiveness, shutdown, and disconnection. The shift isn’t about “better communication” as much as recognizing what’s happening underneath the words, the body cues, the old stories, and the threat response that takes over when the person in front of you matters most.They also name the part that changes everything: it’s not you vs. your partner, it’s both of you vs. the cycle. When you can externalize the pattern, pause it (“we’re doing the thing”), and come back to repair instead of disappearing, the intensity starts to drop. Small moves matter: naming what’s happening, making eye contact, asking directly for what you need (even something as simple as a hug), and returning after a timeout so the conversation doesn’t become another abandonment wound. 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. 🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you. Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠    Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Resentment doesn’t always show up as anger. Sometimes it shows up as a quiet question you can’t stop hearing: does anyone see how hard I’m trying? Dr. Tracy sits down with Libby Ward, creator and author of Honest Motherhood: On Losing My Mind and Finding Myself, to name the tension so many mothers live inside, deep love alongside deep exhaustion, gratitude alongside grief, connection alongside loneliness.Libby shares how her turning point wasn’t just “being honest online,” it was being honest with herself first: admitting the load was heavy, the system wasn’t sustainable, and the guilt narrative wasn’t telling the truth. Together, they unpack how mental load becomes invisible, how “all you had to do was ask” becomes its own kind of loneliness, and why real change often begins when someone finally owns the full scope of a task from start to finish. The takeaway lands clearly: you’re not a bad mom for struggling, you’re a human in a role that asks for too much, too often, too quietly, and honesty is where the first real shift begins. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Trust doesn’t always break in one explosive moment. Sometimes it erodes through small lies, half-truths, and protective reflexes that made sense in childhood, but create distance in adult partnership. Dr. Tracy responds to a listener who wants to know if trust can be rebuilt after a long-standing pattern of not telling the full truth, and what to do when their partner feels hypervigilant, exhausted, and close to leaving.She explains that repair starts with willingness: the willingness to repeatedly “cross the bridge” into your partner’s experience without making their fear about your shame. Then she lays out what rebuilding looks like in real time: naming the urge to hide, slowing the moment down, practicing meta-communication, and choosing truth even when your nervous system wants to protect you. Trust isn’t rebuilt through pressure or promises, it’s rebuilt through consistent, visible moments of honesty, accountability, and emotional intimacy. 🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you. Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠    Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There was a time when sex felt easy, and then life happened. Kids, stress, mental load, exhaustion, being touched out… and suddenly both partners are wondering: is something wrong with me, with you, or with us? Dr. Tracy reframes this in a way most couples have never been taught: you don’t have a desire problem, you have a conditions problem. And that’s hopeful, because conditions are something you can actually work with.In this conversation, Dr. Tracy and Greg break down the two pathways to desire (spontaneous vs. responsive), why pressure quietly shuts desire down, and why sex can’t exist in a silo when resentment, cortisol, and disconnection are running the show. The goal isn’t to “manufacture the mood” or withdraw completely, it’s to co-create the kind of daily conditions (touch, safety, shared load, emotional closeness) that make desire possible again. 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠  Grab the freebie: 5 Ways to Nurture Your Intimacy 🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? ⁠Be Connected⁠ — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. ⁠One spot left⁠ for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you. Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to You Tube   Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation thinking, “I know I need a boundary… I just don’t know how to do it without making things worse,” this episode slows it all the way down. Boundaries aren’t about getting someone else to change. They start with you getting clear on what would need to feel different inside the dynamic so you can feel okay, grounded, and steady.Dr. Tracy breaks down four practical shifts that make boundaries more doable: getting clear with yourself first, saying it early (or rehearsing it ahead of time), letting the other person’s reaction belong to them, and deciding what you’ll do when the boundary gets crossed. Because the follow-through is the part that turns a “boundary” from a hope into something real. 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠⁠ 3 Ways to Respond when someone reacts to your boundary. 🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? Be Connected⁠ — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. ⁠One spot left⁠ for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you. Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠    Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe on YouTube Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Boundaries are easy to agree with in theory and brutally hard in real life, especially when childcare, tradition, money, and family history are all tangled together. Dr. Tracy and Greg unpack why so many people understand boundaries online but freeze when it’s time to actually set one, and they cluster the most common stuck points: fear of fallout, guilt and “you’re too sensitive” messaging, the hopelessness of being ignored, and the leverage dynamics that make saying no feel risky.They also name why holidays turn the volume up: proximity, old roles, obligation economy, and unspoken expectations. The key reframe is that boundaries aren’t about controlling someone else. They’re an invitation into a relationship that works for both of you, with the follow-through happening in what you do when someone pushes back. Dr. Tracy leaves you with a powerful reflection to sit with this week: where are you staying quiet to keep someone else comfortable, and what is that silence costing you? 📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you. One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you. 🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER? Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here. Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠    Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hat “we’re not fighting, but we don’t feel close” feeling is one of the most common relationship stuck-points, and it doesn’t automatically mean anything is broken. Dr. Tracy reframes roommate mode as less about a lack of love and more about a misunderstanding of how closeness is actually built. For many couples, connection erodes quietly, not through big blowups, but through long stretches of important things going unnamed.She offers a key reframe: needs are information, not demands or criticism. When needs stay unspoken, they don’t disappear, they show up later as resentment, emotional distance, and feeling alone even while you’re together. If you’re feeling disconnected, the answer usually isn’t to “need less” or try harder in silence. It’s learning to identify what feels off, name what you want (not just what you don’t), and practice expressing needs without guilt or self-blame, so closeness becomes something you build together instead of something you hope your partner guesses. RESOURCES Get relationship coaching inside ⁠⁠Be Connected⁠⁠⁠ Order my new book! ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠   ⁠⁠  Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Life is going to happen, no matter how organized you are or how many systems you build. Dr. Rachel Goldman joins Dr. Tracy to talk about resilience as something you practice before the hard season hits, not after you’re already running on fumes. They break down what’s actually in your control when everything feels like it isn’t, and why doing “more” often creates the exact kind of chronic stress your body eventually pushes back against.They also unpack how stress shifts into exhaustion and burnout, what burnout really looks like (and why a single day off doesn’t fix it), and how it shows up in relationships when you don’t take a real transition between work mode and home mode. The conversation lands on a simple but powerful takeaway: you don’t need a total life overhaul to feel steadier. Sometimes you just need one internal tool you can access anywhere. For Dr. Rachel, that tool is breath, a small reset you can return to throughout the day to climb down the stress ladder before you hit the breaking point. LINKS FROM EPISODE Order Dr. Rachel's new book: When Life Happens Follow Dr. Rachel on Instagram @drrachelnyc RESOURCES Get Relationship Support ⁠with Coaching & Community inside ⁠⁠Be Connected⁠⁠⁠ Order my new book! ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠   ⁠⁠  Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Empty apologies don’t ruin relationships. What ruins relationships is what happens next when repair never really comes. In this short episode, Dr. Tracy breaks down why conflict isn’t the main problem for most couples, it’s the inability to truly repair in a way that helps both partners feel seen, safe, and back on the same team.She walks through what to do when you recognize a specific “sorry” pattern, whether you tend to focus on intention instead of impact, promise change but don’t follow through, collapse into a shame spiral, or apologize and try to move on too quickly. The thread running through all of it is simple: repair requires presence, curiosity, and a willingness to stay with the discomfort long enough to understand what it felt like to be your partner, and to make something real shift afterward. LINKS FROM EPISODE How to respond to a bad apology. Free guide here. RESOURCES Get Relationship Support ⁠Inside ⁠⁠Be Connected⁠⁠⁠ Order my new book! ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠   ⁠⁠  Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A “sorry” can be sincere and still not land. Dr. Tracy and Greg unpack why so many couples get stuck in apology loops where the words get said, but the hurt doesn’t actually get repaired. One partner is left with that familiar sting of “okay… but nothing feels different,” while the other thinks, “I apologized, what more do you want?” The gap isn’t effort. It’s that sorry without repair doesn’t rebuild trust.They walk through the most common reasons apologies miss: performative sorries (“I’m sorry you feel that way”), apologies with no behavior change, shame-filled apologies that pull the hurt partner into soothing, and apologies that shut the conversation down too quickly. The shift they offer is simple but powerful: repair isn’t just about saying the right thing. Repair is about understanding impact, taking responsibility, making a plan for change, and staying present long enough for your partner to feel seen. Over time, that’s what prevents drift, resentment, and loneliness and helps couples come back together after conflict. LINKS FROM EPISODE: How to Respond to a Bad Apology. Grab your free guide here. After the Fight: How to Repair Workshop Feeling Stuck? - Free Guide to challenge your assumptions RESOURCES Get Relationship Coaching ⁠Inside ⁠⁠Be Connected⁠⁠⁠ Order my new book! ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠   ⁠⁠  Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A lot of women are asking the same question right now: “So if my partner gets defensive, I’m supposed to be his therapist?” Dr. Tracy validates why that reaction makes sense, especially when you’re already exhausted, resentful, and carrying too much.She breaks down a common moment: you ask for help in a clear, non-attacking way, and your partner responds with defensiveness because shame gets activated. The key point is this: pausing to say “What’s going on right now?” isn’t you doing emotional labor for them. It’s you using your own agency to avoid the familiar low-road cycle of blame and escalation, so you can redirect back to the actual issue and still get your needs addressed. RESOURCES Get Relationship Coaching & Community ⁠Inside ⁠⁠Be Connected⁠⁠⁠ Order my new book! ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠   ⁠⁠  Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Resentment isn’t the hot kind of anger that flares and fades. It’s the quiet kind that builds in the background, often after you’ve asked for something over and over, and nothing changes. Dr. Tracy reframes resentment as grief, grief for unmet needs, lost hope, invisibility, and the version of your relationship you thought you were coming home to.She walks through how resentment typically forms in stages: unmet need, repeated pattern, scorekeeping, shutdown, and finally silence. Then she offers a path forward that starts with naming the grief (instead of blaming), asking clearly for what you need in the present, and getting honest about the patterns that keep the cycle going. Resentment isn’t always the end, but it is a signal that something needs to change, and that honesty is the doorway back to agency and connection. LINKS FROM EPISODE: Learn to move past resentment. Save 50% on my Conquer Resentment workshop. Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Feel closer after the More Than Roommates Challenge. Join HERE. Get coaching and community support ⁠Inside⁠ ⁠⁠Be Connected⁠⁠⁠⁠ Feeling Stuck? - Free Guide to challenge your assumptions RESOURCES Get Relationship Support ⁠Inside ⁠⁠Be Connected⁠⁠⁠ Order my new book! ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠   Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of From the Couch, Dr. Tracy teaches a relationship skill that quietly changes everything: differentiation. It’s the ability to hold onto your sense of self while staying connected to someone else, and to remember that another person’s thoughts, feelings, needs, or reactions are not automatically a commentary on your worth, your lovability, or whether you’re “doing enough.”Dr. Tracy brings this to life with a real moment from parenting: she’s invited to teach in her child’s classroom, announces it excitedly, and her child panics, afraid of being embarrassed. Instead of vacuuming up the reaction and making it about herself, she practices differentiation by staying beside her child’s experience, validating the feeling, getting curious about what’s underneath it, and co-creating a plan for what her child needs. The result is trust, safety, and connection, not defensiveness or shame.She then zooms out and invites listeners to picture the same moment in adult relationships: when a partner comes home in a bad mood, when a parent makes a guilt-laced request, when an in-law pushes a boundary. Differentiation is how you stop fusing with other people’s emotions, stop personalizing everything, and start responding from clarity and connection. RESOURCES Get Relationship Coaching & Community ⁠Inside ⁠⁠Be Connected⁠⁠⁠ Order my new book! ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠   ⁠⁠  Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Tracy shares a shift that changed how she does couples therapy: most couples think their problem is communication, but often the real blocker is shame. You can have all the scripts, “I statements,” and conflict tools in the world, but when shame shows up, it hijacks the conversation and turns it into a survival response instead of a problem-solving moment.Dr. Tracy breaks down the crucial difference between guilt and shame. Guilt says “I did something wrong” and can lead to repair. Shame says “I am wrong” and pushes people into defensiveness, shutdown, counterattacks, perfectionism, or self-loathing. She explains what’s happening in the brain when shame activates: the prefrontal cortex goes offline, the threat system takes over, and you can’t “logic” your way back into connection.You’ll learn the five ways shame tends to show up during hard conversations, why it’s often rooted in early family conditioning (criticism, withdrawal, emotional invalidation, comparison), and how couples can start creating the emotional safety needed to actually talk about the real issue. Dr. Tracy walks listeners through how shame spirals derail connection, and offers a practical pathway back: pausing, naming what’s happening, asking for safety, and softening enough to rebuild the bridge before returning to the problem.LINKS FROM EPISODE: Scripts for Difficult Conversations - Find out more Here Get Coaching and Community inside Be Connected Here Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ RESOURCES Order my new book! ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠   ⁠⁠  Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever catch yourself saying, “I shouldn’t have to tell you this” and immediately feel your brain power leak out through your ears? In this bite-sized episode, Dr. Tracy names a sneaky mental load pattern: “renting mom’s brain.” It’s those constant micro-asks, where’s my hat, did you see my keys, what are we doing for dinner, that pull you out of your own task to manage someone else’s.Dr. Tracy breaks down how this becomes a self-feeding loop: the ask, your automatic solve, and then…more asks forever. She shares a recent “hat moment” with Greg that revealed the role of autopilot, plus practical, do-this-today steps to shift the dynamic without blame, shame, or turning your home into a cold war. LINKS FROM EPISODE: Grab the Weekly Intention for less than a cup of coffee a month. Are You On Relationship Autopilot? Apple Podcasts Link Are You On Relationship Autopilot? Spotify Podcast Link RESOURCES Get Relationship Support ⁠Inside ⁠⁠Be Connected⁠⁠⁠ Order my new book! ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠   ⁠⁠  Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever had the moment where your partner says, “I did it,” but somehow…you’re still the one cleaning up the aftermath? In this episode, Dr. Tracy is joined by her husband Greg to talk about a surprisingly specific (and wildly common) mental load issue: not “closing the task.” Using their real-life bath time example, they break down how tasks have a beginning, middle, and end, and how skipping the “end” quietly transfers labor, time, and emotional energy to the other person. They also explore why this pattern often isn’t malicious, it’s autopilot, mismatched expectations, and unspoken definitions of what “done” actually means. Most importantly: how to bring it up without triggering the classic couple cycle of resentment and defensiveness. What “closing the task” means (and why it matters more than you think) Why “I helped” can still leave one partner feeling like the street cleaner after the parade How unspoken task definitions create conflict (hello, “I cleaned the kitchen”) A gentler way to introduce the concept using curiosity, not criticism Why “diffusion of responsibility” often lands on one partner by default How single-tasking (not multitasking) supports follow-through and reduces friction LINKS FROM EPISODE: Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today.⁠ ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ RESOURCES Get Relationship Support ⁠Inside ⁠⁠Be Connected⁠⁠⁠ Order my new book! ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠   ⁠⁠  Need deeper support? 1:1 and Couples Coaching Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this short From the Couch Q&A episode, Dr. Tracy responds to a listener who feels crushed by guilt after she and her husband chose to go no-contact with his sister (and her family) after years of escalating conflict. The listener shares that the tension started around their engagement, with ongoing attacks, scapegoating, and a painful pattern of being blamed for “destroying the family.” Dr. Tracy offers a crucial reframe: in many in-law dynamics, the partner didn’t “ruin” the family, the family system changed when the couple formed their own unit, and some people fight hard to pull things back to the way they were. Dr. Tracy explores the complexity of sibling bonds and family roles, including how guilt and blame can become part of a bigger system (triangles, rescuer roles, unspoken expectations). She also names the emotional whiplash many people feel in estrangement: relief and grief at the same time. LINKS FROM EPISODE: Order my new book! ⁠⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠⁠ My first book: I Didn't Sign Up for This Get Relationship Support ⁠Inside⁠ ⁠⁠Be Connected⁠⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠ RESOURCES Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode Dr. Tracy slows down one of the internet’s most popular relationship labels: weaponized incompetence. She names why the term resonates so deeply, especially for women carrying the mental load, and why it can feel like oxygen to finally have language for exhaustion, invisibility, and resentment. But Dr. Tracy also brings nuance to a conversation that often gets flattened. She explains that “weaponized incompetence” isn’t always rooted in intentional harm or laziness. Often, what looks like incompetence is tied to learned helplessness, gendered socialization, fear of failure, shame, conflict avoidance, and unspoken agreements that form over time. The “weapon” isn’t always intention. It’s the outcome: one partner becomes the manager, the other becomes the assistant, and resentment grows in both directions, just with different faces. LINKS FROM EPISODE: Build better connection and feel close starting today.⁠ ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Dr. Tracy's First Book I Didn't Sign Up For This Book RESOURCES Get Relationship Support ⁠Inside ⁠⁠Be Connected⁠⁠⁠ Order my new book! ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠   ⁠⁠  Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this short “From the Couch” episode, Dr. Tracy speaks to one of the most common pain points couples face around intimacy: one partner needs closeness to want sex, while the other experiences sex as the way they feel close. And when that mismatch goes unspoken, both people can start to feel rejected, pressured, and quietly alone even when love is still very much there. Dr. Tracy offers a simple framework that brings relief fast: there are two primary pathways to desire, spontaneous desire and responsive desire, and neither one is “better.” Spontaneous desire often starts in the mind and can feel effortless, but it commonly fades in long-term relationships, especially in high-demand seasons like parenting. Responsive desire, on the other hand, tends to emerge after emotional connection, affection, safety, and slowing down enough for the body to catch up. She explains why touch can feel like an invitation in one moment and like another demand in the next, and why that isn’t rejection, it’s capacity. The key shift she leaves listeners with is this: instead of asking “what’s wrong with us,” start asking “what conditions help my partner’s desire grow?” Because desire isn’t something you either have or don’t have, it’s something couples can learn to nurture together. LINKS FROM EPISODE: Free Guide 5 Ways to Nurture Your Intimacy RESOURCES Get Relationship Support ⁠Inside ⁠⁠Be Connected⁠⁠⁠ Order my new book! ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠   ⁠⁠  Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of Dear Dr. Tracy, Dr. Tracy D is joined by psychologist, professor, and sex researcher Dr. Nicole McNichols for a grounded, shame-reducing conversation about sex, desire, and what actually helps couples build a satisfying intimate life in the real world.Together, they unpack why so many people feel anxious, awkward, or “broken” when it comes to sex, and how much of that is shaped by cultural scripts, misinformation, and silence. Dr. Nicole shares how teaching a university-level sexuality course revealed just how hungry people are for accurate, compassionate education, not just about mechanics, but about autonomy, pleasure, and communication.A big focus of the conversation is what happens to desire in long-term relationships, especially in the parenting years. Dr. Tracy and Dr. Nicole talk about mental load, exhaustion, and the way many women lose access to autonomy and play after becoming moms, and how that directly impacts desire. They explore the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire, why “just schedule sex” often backfires without the right setup, and how to think about pleasure as a cycle rather than a switch you’re supposed to flip on command.They also address common myths about female pleasure, including the reality of female ejaculation, and they challenge the pressure-heavy “how often should we be having sex?” conversation with a more nuanced, research-informed lens. The takeaway is clear: frequency is not a scoreboard, and pressure is a desire killer. Connection, novelty, communication, and a sense of entitlement to pleasure are where things actually shift. What You’ll Learn Why sex isn’t “dessert,” and why treating it like an add-on creates disconnection How shame and cultural scripts keep couples silent, even when they want more intimacy The difference between spontaneous vs. responsive desire (and why responsive desire is common in long-term relationships) Why planning intimacy can work, but only when you support the pleasure cycle and remove pressure How mental load and inequality at home can quietly erode desire What research actually says about frequency (and why those viral “average couples” stats are misleading) The role of novelty, communication, and pleasure in sustaining long-term sexual connection LINKS FROM SHOW Order Dr. McNichols new book. You Could Be Having Better Sex RESOURCES Get Relationship Support ⁠Inside ⁠⁠Be Connected⁠⁠⁠ Order my new book! ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠   ⁠⁠  Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this “From the Couch” episode, Dr. Tracy responds to a listener who’s been carrying the fallout of a painful postpartum season, where in-law boundary violations piled up and their partner didn’t protect them in the ways they needed. She normalizes how often having a baby is the moment extended-family dynamics shift, because your needs change, your limits change, and suddenly the old rules don’t fit anymore. LINKS FROM EPISODE: Order my new book! ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ RESOURCES: Get Relationship Support ⁠⁠Inside Be Connected⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠ ⁠⁠    Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: ⁠⁠⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection? ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the⁠⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast⁠⁠ https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd⁠⁠ Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Dr. Tracy shares five small, daily practices that can shift the emotional tone of your relationship, especially once the “new year” dust has actually settled. She names what many of us feel but don’t say out loud: January 1 is not exactly peak nervous-system readiness, and real change usually starts after the recovery period. LINKS FROM EPISODE: ⁠⁠⁠Hello Fresh: a free ZWILLING knife (a $145 value on your third box). Visit: ⁠⁠hellofresh.com/tracy10fm⁠⁠ Annual Relationship Check-In Free on the Be Connected App - Apple  Free on the Be Connected App - Google Play Feel closer after the More Than Roommates Challenge https://drtracyd.mykajabi.com/morethanroommates Breaking the ‘New Year, New You’ Cycle with Dr. Meagan Gallagher Listen on Apple Listen on Spotify Feeling Stuck? - Free Guide to challenge your assumptions https://drtracyd.mykajabi.com/assumption RESOURCES Get Relationship Support ⁠Inside ⁠⁠Be Connected⁠⁠⁠ Order my new book! ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠   ⁠⁠  Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW DR. TRACY Subscribe to the podcast⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@drtracyd⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd ⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices