Is It Possible That You're Enabling a Toxic Partner? Time to Stop! episode artwork

EPISODE · Aug 26, 2018 · 20 MIN

Is It Possible That You're Enabling a Toxic Partner? Time to Stop!

from Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorIS IT POSSIBLE YOU'RE ENABLING A TOXIC PARTNER? TIME TO STOP! VERY IMPORTANT! NO BLAME HERE! Do not blame yourself, or take on any blame, if you listen today and realize you're been enabling your toxic partner to continue to behave badly. S/he was going to do it anyway. You didn't cause it. You are a good person, who simply didn't have an impact when you said no. So, now you've been worn down, and torn down, by their bad behavior. Toxic people, Hijackals®, are looking for power and control over you. Because you are a good person, a loving, compassionate person, you were chosen by the Hijackal.S/he thought there was a good chance that you would go the extra mile, be long-suffering, or justify, rationalize, or excuse their bad behavior. You likely did...because you are a good person, and you thought that, with enough love and patience, s/he would change. Hijackals don't change...for the better! Today, I'm talking about "enabling." Here's a definition that makes it clear:Enabling is the behavior of protecting others from experiencing the full impact and consequences of their behaviorThat's where the excusing, rationalizing, and justifying come in. You give them more than enough rope to hang themselves, and instead, they hang you!A few highlights of today's episode:Eight identifiable behaviors of Hijackals that you may be unwittingly enablingWhy it may feel like the toxic person, the Hijackal, treats you in a "Come closer. Stay away." kind of wayWhy enabling will NEVER get you the relationship you want: the one with honesty, safety, respect, trust, and reliability that I talk about in Kaizen for Couples: Smart Steps to Save, Sustain & Strengthen Your RelationshipWhy you want to stop enabling and learn the strategies to empower yourself BEFORE you announce you are leavingAre you ready to be free of this? To stop questioning your sanity and second-guessing yourself? GREAT!Hijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! You are being poisoned. You are NOT the poison that the Hijackal insists you are.I hope this help you see that more clearly.If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #amIanenablerSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorIS IT POSSIBLE YOU'RE ENABLING A TOXIC PARTNER? TIME TO STOP! VERY IMPORTANT! NO BLAME HERE! Do not blame yourself, or take on any blame, if you listen today and realize you're been enabling your toxic partner to continue to behave badly. S/he was going to do it anyway. You didn't cause it. You are a good person, who simply didn't have an impact when you said no. So, now you've been worn down, and torn down, by their bad behavior. Toxic people, Hijackals®, are looking for power and control over you. Because you are a good person, a loving, compassionate person, you were chosen by the Hijackal.S/he thought there was a good chance that you would go the extra mile, be long-suffering, or justify, rationalize, or excuse their bad behavior. You likely did...because you are a good person, and you thought that, with enough love and patience, s/he would change. Hijackals don't change...for the better! Today, I'm talking about "enabling." Here's a definition that makes it clear:Enabling is the behavior of protecting others from experiencing the full impact and consequences of their behaviorThat's where the excusing, rationalizing, and justifying come in. You give them more than enough rope to hang themselves, and instead, they hang you!A few highlights of today's episode:Eight identifiable behaviors of Hijackals that you may be unwittingly enablingWhy it may feel like the toxic person, the Hijackal, treats you in a "Come closer. Stay away." kind of wayWhy enabling will NEVER get you the relationship you want: the one with honesty, safety, respect, trust, and reliability that I talk about in Kaizen for Couples: Smart Steps to Save, Sustain & Strengthen Your RelationshipWhy you want to stop enabling and learn the strategies to empower yourself BEFORE you announce you are leavingAre you ready to be free of this? To stop questioning your sanity and second-guessing yourself? GREAT!Hijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! You are being poisoned. You are NOT the poison that the Hijackal insists you are.I hope this help you see that more clearly.If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #amIanenablerSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

NOW PLAYING

Is It Possible That You're Enabling a Toxic Partner? Time to Stop!

0:00 20:18

No transcript for this episode yet

We transcribe on demand. Request one and we'll notify you when it's ready — usually under 10 minutes.

Eat to Live Jenna Fuhrman, Dr. Fuhrman Our health is our most precious gift and smart nutrition can change your life. Each month, join Dr. Fuhrman and his daughter, Jenna Fuhrman as they discuss important topics in the world of nutrition. Eat to Live will change the way you eat and think about food. French Your Way Jessica: Native French teacher founder of French Your Way Boost your French listening skills and test your comprehension with this one of a kind series of podcasts. Get the chance to listen to a real conversation between native speakers talking at normal speed AND customise your learning experience through carefully designed sets of questions (2 levels of difficulty) available for download at www.frenchvoicespodcast.com. All interviews also come with the transcript. French teacher Jessica interviews native speakers of French from around the world who share a bit of their life and passion. Where else would you meet in one same place a French yoga teacher based in Melbourne, a soap manufacturer from Provence, or a couple cycling around the world? That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding That Hoarder Hoarding disorder is stigmatised and people who hoard feel vast amounts of shame. This podcast began life as an audio diary, an anonymous outlet for somebody with this weird condition. That Hoarder speaks about her experiences living with compulsive hoarding, she interviews therapists, academics, researchers, children of hoarders, professional organisers and influencers, and she shares insight and tips for others with the problem. Listened to by people who hoard as well as those who love them and those who work with them, Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder aims to shatter the stigma, share the truth and speak openly and honestly to improve lives. The Small Business Startup School – Business Notes | Financial Literacy | Retail Psychology – For Professionals & Entrepreneurs The Small Business Startup School Inc. Starting or buying a small business? While personal circumstances may vary, business patterns remain timeless. On The Small Business Startup School, we explore strategies, insights, and practical solutions to help entrepreneurs confidently navigate their journey.Hosted by Ola Williams—a retail entrepreneur, fintech founder, and financial coach with over two decades of experience—this podcast marries financial awareness and retail psychology with optimism to deliver actionable takeaways.Join us to learn, grow, and connect as we uncover the keys to business success.Let’s continue to learn together and be encouraged to keep on connecting!

Frequently Asked Questions

How long is this episode of Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships?

This episode is 20 minutes long.

When was this Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships episode published?

This episode was published on August 26, 2018.

What is this episode about?

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorIS IT POSSIBLE YOU'RE ENABLING A TOXIC PARTNER? TIME TO STOP! VERY IMPORTANT! NO BLAME HERE! Do not blame yourself, or take on any blame, if you...

Can I download this Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships episode?

Yes, you can download this episode by clicking the download button on the episode player, or subscribe to the podcast in your preferred podcast app for automatic downloads.
URL copied to clipboard!