Joel 3- Hey Guy

JOEL III: Hey, Guy My name is Joel. And I’m sitting across from this guy Who used to be my dog And he’s got the nerve to ask me “Do [I] regret turning [my] wife into a wolf?” Hey, Guy. Do I regret turning my wife into a wolf? Here’s a question right back. Do you ask a monarch butterfly If it regrets Not being A little green schfonze? Hey, Guy. Should I never have turned my wife from a beautiful woman into a wolf? Here’s a question right back. Should you walk right up to Ludwig Van Bae Tap him on the shoulder as he’s writing his 9th symphony Speak very loudly because syphilis has rendered him deaf And Say, “Hey Bae 9’s a bit much maybe dial it back to 7?” Hey, Guy. Would I turn my wife back human if I could? Here’s a question right back. Would you walk up to the Titan Sun God, Who happens to be my son, Just after he separated Light from Darkness, And the Sky from the Sea, And the Whole of Nature, From his own Formless Thoughts, And ask if he wants a mulligan? Hey Guy, I love my wife. I love my wife as a human. I love my wife as a wolf. I love my wife in a place beyond time and space. Like that Leon Russell song. And in that place beyond time and space. I can see the future, And I can see that history has vindicated me, And that my statues stand tall Next to those of Reagan and the Clintons and the other Gods of Theft. And People point At Reagan and the Clintons And say “Hey. who are they? And by what right Do they stand next to one of the guys Who’s married to a Wolf.” And every few years, Someone says they saw my statue weeping, And my acolytes say “that is impossible Because that is Joel And He was the Man.” And in that place beyond time and space I can see the past. And I can see myself Cuddly wuddly with my human wife And she’s cuddly wuddly with our wittle dog Who is only a dog And we’re crackin' sunset beers And trying to remember the lyrics To Leon Russell songs. And in that place beyond time and space I can see myself now, And I see that I’ve turned my wife Into a pitiless animal, And I listen, To the ragged gargling Of my Boar Rat. And at my feet Is the Wolf Who would be my wife, And I’m sitting Across from this guy Who used to be my dog And he’s got the nerve to ask me Do I regret turning my wife into a wolf? And I say Hey Guy, Not Joel.