Mia Poppe: A Family Lawyer's 3-Year Custody Battle, and the Turn

Mia Poppe spent almost three years losing. Every major request in her own custody case went the other way, in front of the same judge, and she is a matrimonial lawyer who does this for a living.Mia Poppe is a matrimonial attorney with offices in midtown Manhattan and Westchester County. She grew up in South Carolina, married at 22, and stayed in that first marriage for 12 years while building a career first in banking and later in law. She is the author of "The Empowered Woman's Guide to Navigating Divorce," and much of what she teaches comes from surviving her own high-conflict custody case after a second divorce she had assumed was behind her.In this episode, Mia tells Lisa the whole story: the custody action and the far-fetched second claim served on her in 2019, the years of losing to allegations she calls unbelievable, and a judge she came to understand through the lens of affinity and bias rather than simple unfairness. Along the way she makes the case for buying yourself a tribe of coaches and treating that spending as an investment in yourself, and for the oxygen-mask truth that staying only "for the children" serves no one.The turn in her case, she says, followed a turn in her own mindset: an "image rehabilitation" that changed how she saw the judge and how she carried herself into the room. They talk about why an abusive ex's allegations can threaten your license and your livelihood, why she never lets a client bash the bench, and the marathon mindset that carried her, keep coming back, because the loss is giving up too soon. Justice, she insists, can be found.As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.🎓 What you'll learnWhy staying "for the children" can model the wrong life, and the oxygen-mask reframeWhat "buying yourself a tribe" means, and why coaching is an investment, not a costWhy even a family lawyer could be blindsided by a post-judgment custody actionHow courts try to equalize both parents, and what that does to the targeted oneWhy an abusive ex's allegations can threaten your professional license and incomeHow a mindset shift, what she calls image rehabilitation, changed how a courtroom responded to herWhy bias on the bench is something to work with, not only to rage againstThe marathon mindset: why the loss is giving up too soon, not the setback itself⏱️ Chapters 0:00 Intro 1:00 Meeting Mia, and a story that stopped Lisa in her tracks 3:00 South Carolina, and a first marriage she knew was wrong in three weeks 7:00 Cognitive dissonance, and the oxygen-mask lesson 11:00 "Buy yourself a tribe": coaches as an investment in you 13:00 An easy divorce, then a custody action out of nowhere in 2019 17:00 False allegations, and behavior that harms the kids to get at you 21:00 How courts equalize, and the threat to your license and livelihood 25:00 Three years of losing, affinity on the bench, and $30,000 in fees 35:00 Reading the invisible, and the three parts of persuasion 37:00 Image rehabilitation: the mindset shift that changed the case 51:00 The turning point, bias, and the marathon mindsetKeep going 💜 Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call 📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X 📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183 🔗 Mia Poppe: https://www.miapoppe.com/🎧 More with Mia Poppe on this podcast Ep 245: Managing Your Reactivity in Family Court Ep 304: Running a High-Conflict Divorce Like a BusinessAbout Been There Got Out Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.