Kier Gaines - Author of It All Starts When You Do | A Therapist Explains Why You’re Still Unhappy After Getting Everything You Wanted

➡️ Join 321,000 people who read my free weekly newsletter: https://newsletter.scottdclary.com ➡️ Like The Podcast? Leave A Rating: https://ratethispodcast.com/successstory Kier Gaines is a licensed therapist, content creator, and the author of It All Starts When You Do: How to Do the Real Work of Self-Healing, known for translating mental health concepts into practical tools for everyday life. In his work, Kier challenges the idea that mantras and positive thinking alone can solve your problems — arguing instead that real change starts with knowing yourself better and confronting the uncomfortable truths most people avoid. ➡️ Show Links https://www.instagram.com/kiergaines/ https://x.com/kiergaines81en https://www.linkedin.com/in/kier-gaines-6b46912b2/ ➡️ Podcast Sponsors Hubspot - https://hubspot.com/ Huel - https://huel.com/scott (Code: scott) NetSuite - https://netsuite.com/scottclary/ Framer - https://framer.com/design (Code: SuccessStory) LinkedIn Ads - https://linkedin.com/scottclary Cohesity - https://www.cohesity.com/datacloud Whatnot - https://www.whatnot.com/ Monarch - https://www.monarch.com/ (Code: success) Cash App - https://cash.app/ (Code: cashapp10) MyFitnessPal - https://podcasts.myfitnesspal.com (Code: SCOTT) Plaud - https://plaud.ai/success (Code: success) Odoo - https://www.odoo.com ➡️ Talking Points 00:00 – Intro 04:42 – What Fatherhood Really Reveals 11:29 – It All Starts When You Do 16:19 – When Achievement Becomes Your Identity 18:37 – Why Affirmations Don’t Fix You 22:53 – Healing Requires More Than Self-Help 26:02 – The Four Selves You Need to Know 30:28 – Sponsor Break 34:21 – Why Growth Doesn’t Feel Good 37:29 – Managing Expectations When Life Gets Messy 41:19 – Resetting Expectations in an Instant-Gratification World 50:46 – What Men Get Wrong About Healing 54:26 – Why Men Struggle to Stand Up for Themselves 57:49 – Building Confidence Without Becoming Aggressive 1:02:03 – What Writing Reveals About Your Healing 1:08:00 – Sponsor Break 1:11:01 – Happy With Your Life vs. Happy In Your Life 1:20:11 – Why Kier’s Message Connects 1:23:35 – Therapy vs. Social Media Advice 1:28:56 – How to Choose the Right Therapist 1:34:48 – Kier’s Advice to His 20-Year-Old Self 1:35:09 – The Definition of True Success