"lakegender" by jj rowan

i was born lake, formed lake even before that, the dig deep landscape before the motor, pine letter making berms where the snow retreats, so many parts of me are containers for water i had to move, i didn’t know this from outside of my body, from outside of any body, didn’t want to be the sloshing water, didn’t want to be the wake, didn’t want to wake to know who gets the water who gets the water out / i was born lake, formed lake, filled up and emptied out lake, decades lake and what to show for it, miles lake with bubbles forming, lake approximating water until it finds flow earth comes in, not base of lake but base of skull, base of over- whelmed body made of dirt so sinking, so water makes the mess glow, the messbody, its liquid-solid partnership going all directions finding music under lifted heel mud’s facial structure finally doing it right, you’re new to the community play so the role isn’t going to fit you but with the ground under you you can really put on your water you can happen to yourself in the time it takes to happen, you can partner your gender on its own twos are everywhere and nowhere / i was born lake, formed lake and something else happened something else happened something else happened something else happened something else happened something else happened something else was happening my first time body worked up to the edge, this first time waking, not first time water not only water not only waking curious bloom waiting under the waves / i was born lake but figured land, as though you could just tip and get all the water out, as though the water would go nowhere and the land would remain empty my enduring liquid seemed to cause others fear, confusion, discomfort they couldn’t make the water mean something for themselves (or worse: they could) some people believe water to be the worst that could happen, some sort of consequence just tell me you know nothing about submerging, tell me you refuse curiosity toward your own flow being lake depends on the land this is not called spectrum this cannot be placed on a line this cannot be plotted, is always moving my waterbody taught me that ————————————– jj rowan called us from Laconia, NH. voicemailpoems.org/submit/ facebook.com/voicemailpoems x.com/voicemailpoems bsky.app/profile/voicemailpoems.bsky.social instagram.com/voicemailpoems