Lauren - Not at the Expense of Me

What happens when the story you’ve carried for years—I should have known, I should have stopped it—meets the truth your body has been holding all along?In this episode, Valerie sits with Lauren—a mother, veteran, and grassroots community advocate committed to building authentic connection and resilient communities. Lauren served two tours in Iraq as a logistician, later worked as an IT project manager, led change as a nonprofit executive, and has successfully administered multiple programs and businesses. Beneath all of those roles is another identity she rarely spoke about for years: survivor. That lived experience became a catalyst for earned wisdom and deep transformation, shaping her commitment to paying forward the grace and compassion she herself received.Together, Valerie and Lauren walk through betrayal, survival, grief, and the long middle space where healing isn’t dramatic or linear—but real. This is a grounded conversation about naming rape, navigating high-performance environments after trauma, and what silence can quietly cost our faith, relationships, and sense of self.Lauren shares the moment everything shifted—a call for help from a parking lot—and the unexpected turning point of working with a male therapist through cognitive processing therapy. She speaks candidly about releasing stored grief, rebuilding safety with men, and how co-regulation, breath, and simple presence can bring a spiraling nervous system back to steady ground. Along the way, humor, ceremony, and community become anchors, reminding us that healing rarely happens alone.Listeners will also find practical wisdom for rebuilding after trauma or moral injury: choosing one safe person, moving at your own pace, setting boundaries with the reminder not at the expense of me, and marking heavy moments complete through intentional ritual. Valerie and Lauren gently explore the complicated realities of reporting, career impact, and how agency can grow as language—and self-understanding—changes.At its core, this episode is not about what was done to someone. It’s about what becomes possible when someone is finally witnessed.Take what steadies you. Leave what doesn’t. You don’t have to carry this alone.Contact Valerie Support the showRemember YOU are loved and worthy of being witnessed!If today’s episode stirred heavy feelings, you are not alone. Please reach out to a trusted friend or a professional if you need support:National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.orgSAMHSA Mental Health/Substance Use: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)988 LIFELINE: Call, Text or Chat https://988lifeline.orgVeterans Crisis Line: Dial or text 988, then press 1Help for Veterans suffering with CPTSD https://saveawarrior.org/https://www.scarsfoundation.org/*This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in immediate danger, please call 911 or your local emergency number.Want to tell your story? Send a DM or an emailFind us on IG @defiance_of_silence_podcast    [email protected]: https://www.instagram.com/defiance_of_silence_podcast?igsh=MWVxMHI3OXY1cm1paA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr