Less Is More: The Secret to Being Heard in Conflict and Decreasing Your Partner's Defensiveness

In moments of conflict, it’s easy to feel unheard—and to keep “piling on” examples in the hope that your partner will finally understand. But what if that very habit is the thing preventing real repair? In this episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish unpacks why we overload our partners during arguments, how it triggers defensiveness, and what to do instead to foster connection and accountability. You’ll learn why slowing down, naming one feeling, and allowing space for emotion is the key to creating lasting change and deeper understanding in your relationship. Tune in to feel seen, supported, and equipped with practical tools to navigate conflict with compassion and clarity. Grab my new book ⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠!! Available on all formats RESOURCES: Want your questions answered on the show?⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠⁠     Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the⁠⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠ LINKS: ⁠⁠Factor Meals:⁠⁠ Save 50% off your first box and get free breakfast for a year. Use code TRACY50OFF at factormeals.com/TRACY50OFF Rula: Get the support you need with ⁠⁠rula.com/Tracy⁠ ⁠⁠Calm:⁠⁠ Save 40% off at ⁠⁠calm.com/Tracy⁠⁠ ⁠⁠KiwiCo:⁠⁠ Save 50% off with code TRACY KiwiCo.Com ⁠⁠Better Help:⁠⁠ Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/TRACYK12 Powered Schools: Learn more at ⁠⁠k12.com/TRACY⁠ Keywords: relationship repair, piling on in conflict, communication skills for couples, defensiveness in relationships, emotional validation, Gottman method, couples therapy insights, relationship podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices