Lessons From A Failed Marriage - Fix It Together Or Get Out

How do you fix a failed marriage? It is hard but worth it. It is also worth getting out if you cannot fix it together. Today would have been my 12th wedding anniversary. The wedding weekend was incredible. As cliched as it sounds it was the best weekend of my life. I was so in love. Friends and family joined us from around the world and she looked stunning.People Told Me Not To Marry HerI don't know if it is normal for friends to tell you not to marry someone. The majority were happy and excited for me. A few though had their concerns. I was so in love and excited by the future we were planning that I did not listen to them. Turned out they were right, which doesn't make it any easier. It does make me reflect though and I can now see that if I had found out more about her past, her values and her family then I might have listened. Actually No I wouldn't of! I was so love nothing would have stopped me. The women I married was awesome.Be Clear About What Your Values And What You Want When my marriage started to go wrong I was so focused on making it work out that I didn't honour my own values or what I wanted from the marriage. For too long I was unhappy and my efforts to improve things went ignored. Rather than being scared of failing at the thing I wanted more than anything in my life I should have been strong and committed to my values. It wasn't working and she did not put the effort in to improve it.Perhaps if I had not been so focused on trying to make her happy then it would have worked out differently. I would have at least found out if us breaking up even mattered to her.Go All Out To Fix Your MarriageBeing divorced is hard. Incredibly hard. If you have children then you have to co-operate and find a way to get along, which is even harder after you have broken up. Money is hard, managing your time is hard. Seeing friends is hard. And most of all being apart from your children is hard. Getting decent couples coaching and learning how to communicate is vital. Read "The 5 Love Languages" and " No More Mir Nice Guy" for starters. It is vital you get to know yourself and become a decent self-aware man. Then you can genuinely ask that she does the same.Breaking Up Is Better Than MiseryI spent 4 years in a broken relationship. By the time I eventually left I was utterly broken. That made it even harder. To break up you need all your emotional and physical energy to do it successfully. It is much better to consciously do this before the arguing and upset. Don't fear separation. If you can't fix the relationship then get out before the damage is done.Be Your Best In Team Super DadMy divorce was part of my motivation for Team Super Dad. I want the best for you and your family. Join the community, arrange some 1on1 coaching and register for the next Hero Academy. It is time to live the life you desire and be the Dad your kids need.Find Out More About Team Super DadTeam Super Dad gives Dads the tools and confidence to live their life they desire, not the life they feel stuck with. We transform Dads health, wealth and happiness so that they can feel great about themself, create more time with their family and enjoy life to the full.Team Super Dad website Get Dad Coaching 1-on-1 and GroupsFind out more about the Hero AcademyJoin the Team Super Dad community on FacebookSubscribe to the Team Super Dad podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.