Lessons Learned and Unlearned

When my kids would encounter a bully on the playgroundI encouraged them to receive the jerkiness as an indicationSomething more interesting was happening elsewhereI’d challenge them to look in 360 degrees, a full circleAnd if nothing else caught their attention, then they could engage with the bullyDefend themselves, whathaveyou…It never happenedThere was always something more interesting happening somewhereThis little creep’s attitude was just the alarm bell letting them know something else was waiting.Now that they’re big, I wonder if teaching them to walk away was wiseI am the kind of person that does not shy away from conflictSomeone needs to stand up to bulliesI’ve often been that personSo it’s weird I didn’t teach my children toEspecially in this time of belligerent, institutionalized crueltyI gave my kids many meaningful giftsBut there are a whole lot of gifts I neglectedWe can’t all do everythingWe spent a lot of time discussing costs and benefits of growing up in our householdAnd make no mistake, there were bothThese days I worry about my inability to find a jobRubbing off on my daughter who is struggling to find a role using her design skillsIt’s an awful thing when you see the worst of yourself moving forwardWhile the best of yourself sits at the bottom of a silver bowlWaiting for purchase or a ropeAs the heat turns up beneathThings have been hard for me the last few daysNot the least reason for which is the very specific depression I get after smoking cigarettesIt furloughs my generally optimistic outlookAnd the worst part is the aspect of me that thinks this is more realThe truth is, everything is real, and nothing isAnd we do our best and make mistakes and if we’re lucky have the opportunity for repairNone of us know what tomorrow brings, no matter how informed we might beLife and mystery are synonymousAnd when bullies, even within ourselves, get too closeTurn around and look for something to loveAnd go to itWhat else can we do? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fallingtenderly.substack.com