Life Is a Macaroni Necklace

We’re funny when we’re defensiveRidiculous may be a better wordWe’re all trying so hardWe want to be acknowledged for the intelligence in our effortsEven when they’re fruitless or ineffectiveThere is intelligence thereAnd careAnd that is a beautiful thingAnd we’re protective of itAn inner allegianceThe result isn’t nearly as important as the care put into a macaroni necklaceWhen a kid presents a macaroni necklace to youThey know it’s not just what it looks like that mattersThey know the care they put into it is part of the giftAnd should it be received with criticismIt doesn’t feel like the macaroni necklace that’s being judgedBut the maker and the careThere’s a dynamic here that I’m interested inHow tenderly we hold our inner being who is trying so hardAnd how inadequate we can simultaneously find that same inner beingThere is a story in HinduismThat Brahma wanted to extend divinity to humansBut when humans walked around as gods, they abused itSo he had to hide it, so that it would be realized only when approached with humility and careThere was much discussion among the gods about where to hide divinity“Shall we hide it at the top of the highest mountain?”No, humans are industrious. They will find and climb that mountain.Shall we hide it in the bottom of the deepest ocean?No, humans are determined. They will conquer the ocean at any cost to seize the treasure.Where shall we hide it then?At some length, Brahma came to a decision, “I will hide it deep in the center of their own being. They will never think to look there. For those who do, the excavation will soften them to honor the heart of all of life”We know this treasure is within usDefensiveness comes up when something sacred feels unrecognizedI’ve felt it, and I’ve seen it - and bowing to the inner divinity diffuses the constrictionYet, settling in to know our sacredness is a little harder sell for most of usWe seem to be hardwired to look for divinity outside of ourselves or at least at the end of some achievementWhich is sad in a host of ways, but I believe basically simply an expression of our social natureOur need to reflect and be reflectedThe outer world isn’t the place to discover our divinityBut the place to watch it dance, sing, and evolve.So, I’m trying to receive those moments of defensivenessAs a reminder of the divinity within meThat doesn’t require my defensiveness but my own acknowledgementThe heart of divinity within my own heartSovereign and inherently connectedAlignment to the divinity withinAligns me to the divinity in allA place where success doesn’t come from conquering or achievingBut from feeling and participatingA witness to the wonderA macaroni necklaceHeld with the value of the crown jewels This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fallingtenderly.substack.com